The meanings of One Sided Love Relationships
There is a difference between one sided love and one sided relationships. One sided love can either be from a distance, or during the initial times in dating. This might not be that toxic for someone as compared to a long term one sided relationship, but still hurts a lot.
One sided relationsip on the other hand is when you're with someone for a long time and things were great, but as the days pass by, you realise you're the one who is making the extra efforts, you're the one to say 'I love you' first and it's YOU who is holding the whole relationship together. It's not necessary that all relationships start this way, but most end up like this, if not taken of carefully.
The psychology behind it
There is not much science behind this, sincere and unrequited love is a sad consequence of 100% of your feelings and not getting anything in return. It's that simple and yet so hurtful. It's us who make love complicated. Our minds are designed to expect what cannot be achieved. The moment we bring our expectations down, we'll find our happy place. But it is this expectation that makes us human.
Signs you're in a one sided relationship
If you want to know whether you're in a one sided relationship, here are some signs to look out:
1. You hold communication
You might notice that if you don't text your partner all day, they don't text you either. It's you who is always calling and asking about the day and what's happening in overall life. The communication is initiated and held because of you, if you don't bother too, there will be utter silence. You should realise this in time, and escape this relationship where the other person doesn't even care to talk to you.
2. You're not first priority
When you love someone, you'd do anything for them, they will be your top priority whether it's about going out, having fun or just doing simple favours. But that's the opposite in case of one sided love, when your girlfriend or boyfriend always prefers their friends over you, or gets irritated when you complain of not having enough attention. And even for their sake you would leave your comfort zone and go spend time with their social circle. It's way too much effort for someone who doesn't respect you.
3. You're always making things right
If you feel the need to apologize for everything, every fight, every situation whether it's your fault or not, then you need to get out of this negative relationship. Being apologetic all the time means that you just want to make the situation alright, not caring about your self-respect or even who's actually wrong in the scene. You just don't want to lose that person, and you will go to heights for that, and the same isn't on your partner's mind.
4. You partner ignores the relationship
Speaking of relationships and relationship problems, it's a two way thing. These are serious matters that need discussions and time. Ever notice that whenever you bring up something important to talk about the relationship, or yourself or even them, they just ignore and change the topic? It's simple that they just don't care as much as you do. The sooner you realize, the better.
5. You feel stressed out and sad
It's a lot of hard work to take care of a relationship alone. And it's hurting when you don't get the same thing in return. The feeling that your partner wants to be anywhere else but you, gets happy doing things that don't include you, that could just drain all the happiness out of someone. If you're constantly tired and feel low, you need to take a break and figure things out and maybe eventually let go.
8 Ways on How to Make One Sided Love Successful
If you’re stuck in this despair of a tornado of unrequited love, and you think that there is no way things will take a happy turn, then think again. We can advise you the ways you can create miracles for yourself and get rewarded by the love you feel, in return too. You can either be emotional about this situation or act maturely and make things right. Here are some guidelines to help you out:
1. Know that it's not your fault
It's not necessary that if you fall for someone, they'll feel exactly the same and right away. You need to understand that it's just the way things are and not your fault. Give things some time and make yourslef okay with it. Maybe things will take a different turn before you know it.
2. Understand your feelings
Sometimes our feelings get way out of control in the spur of the moment that we forget that it could be just the hyped up emotions and not actually long term feelings, so before making extra efforts to turn a one sided realtionship into a two sided one, make sure what you exactly feel and is totally worth it?
3. Keep up the ties
The key is to not give up and always keep communication with the one you love. It won't be a problem as your feelings are pretty strong. Your loved one will feel close to yo when you constantly talk to them about their problems and ask them how they're doing. Obviously don't become clingy and desperate, give them space too. But just be there for them.
4. Become a good friend first
It is possible that your loved one doesn't have feelings for you because they just don't know you that well. For that you need to earn their trust and get close to them and have them be really comfortable around you. You might think this is weird and might be a little hard for you, but you can make them like you if you just be yourself and be close to them as a friend first.
5. Control your obsession
If you're constantly and obsessively thinking about your beloved, who dosn't feel the same, then you're making it really hard for yourself. This obsession path doesn't benfit anyone. Besides this kind of attitude tends to push people away, you have to play it cool and be patient, this will keep your mind working and thinking straight.
6. Portray your best
This doesn't mean you have to walk around your partner or crush in fancy clothes and doing a fake accent. Just be true to yourself and watch them getting close to you, don't let your guard all the way down, and don't hide your flaws too. Keep a balance and just do what you do best.
7. Give respect and earn respect
Shower your beloved with love and care, always keep a positive attitude towards them and make them feel the same way for you. It's possible to treat someone so special and valuable that they are compelled to feel somehing for you. Make them love your company by being responsible and considerate.
8. Simply, be there for them
This is a feeling all of us long for. The support, the sense of being protected, it's a wonderful feeling. If you truly love someone, be there for them regardless of how they feel. Help them in their problems and getting through life. This can get two people close in no time. You have to always keep in mind that it takes two hands to clap and only you cannot make a one sided love successful.
Popular songs about One Sided Love
Music has a way of making you feel better, no matter what the reason is. And something as sensitive as one sided love, the world has a lot to say about it over the decades. Here are some of our favorite artists with their take on this sorrow side of love:
Waiting In Vain, Bob Marley
Aah! Just look at the title. What is worse than the limitless and oh so hurtful wait? Someone who is in love, will have a hard time moving on, so all they can do is wait. And the saddest part is, they’re fine with it.
I Can’t Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt
This old one hits right in the feels. This is the most heartbreaking thing, when you don’t get the love you want. There’s no hold on the other person’s heart or feelings. Bonnie explains how you can’t just change someone even though how much you wish for it. There’s no compelling in love. Wish there was though.
Our favorite band depicts how sorrowful it is to know that the person you love doesn’t even acknowledge how much you need them. If only they could see through your eyes, and not through you.
Laugh, I Nearly Died, The Rolling Stones
A one-sided lover has a lot at stake, his ego, self-respect and what not. Unrequited love can damage a lot more than your heart, it blows off your self-esteem too. Explained especially the lyrics,
“I hate to be denied
How you hurt my pride
I feel pushed aside
But laugh, laugh, laugh, I nearly died”
Love Is a Losing Game, Amy Winehouse
Amy knows that this road to incomplete love is eventually going to end in regrets and sorrow. The initial butterflies you feel for someone can turn into an undying ache pretty soon. It all becomes a mess, she explains.
Quotes about One Sided Love
You can sacrifice and not love. But you cannot love and not sacrifice. -Kris Vallotton
Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else. – Sarah Cross
One of the greatest pain and agony is being in one sided love with someone. -Anurag Prakash
It's never too late to realize your worth in life. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and cares for you the same way you do. Everyone needs to be taken care of, and have that adorable relationship where things work equally from both sides. So take a stand for yourself, and get out from a one sided relationship. You are not at someone's disposal.