Texting is the modern flirting. It’s quick, it allows preparation, and anyone can do it. However, even this sure-proof way to get the attention of someone you’re interested in poses numerous implications such as misunderstanding and misinterpreting the text.
To avoid dropping an unintentional bomb on your prospect, let’s take a look at some tips on how to text the guy that you like. Take note that there are many levels and approaches in texting and it’s not as simple as a “Hey, how are you” message.
How to text a guy first/ for the first time
Who says guys have to be the first one to make a move? We’re in the 21st century ladies, and add to that the fact that some guys can’t sense our interest. In this case, it’s our move!
To text a guy for the first time or being the first one to initiate a conversation sure is scary. You don’t want to seem desperate while sending off hints that you’re interested.
1. If you personally got his number
If you and your crush met firsthand, then there is a more stable connection already made. A face on the message greatly helps on what you will say on your first text.
For example, if you two met the other night at an event, you can give a nonchalant “checking up on you” text to give him the idea that he passed your mind.
Having met beforehand gives you an automatic topic to talk about, so use it to your advantage.
2. If you got his number from someone
This one is a bit more tricky because you’ve never met the guy, or he’s never heard of you. If you’re eyeing a guy that your friend is friends with, then get to know him via your contact. Ask your friend what kind of a guy he is, someone who prefers lighthearted humor or one that loves deep conversations.
Use that insider knowledge to your advantage and manipulate the conversation accordingly.
“Hi there, sorry to seem completely random but I got your number from (insert mutual friend’s name) because he (or she) fully believes that I should expand my circle of relationships. I think my being able to reread the complete Game of Thrones books gave my friend the idea that I’m a hermit…” Or something customized according to your friend’s intel on the guy.
How to text a guy without seeming desperate
Texting and coming off as desperate is something girls are really good at, unfortunately. Do remember that guys are more chill in general (plus we have their ego to account for), so we cannot come across as dominant, pushy, or commanding.
3. Never text after midnight
A big no-no is texting too late. Not only does it give him the wrong idea (a booty call) but it also isn’t respectful to text someone you aren’t close with past midnight. Therefore, if you want to send the right signals, don’t text too late.
4. Sext at the right time
Another big no-no to someone that you are getting to know is sexting early on in the dating stage. There is a way to be flirty and fun but omitting the topic of sex to get him addicted to you.
Ask yourself this, “Do I want to merely sleep with the guy or get to know him and possibly start a relationship with him?” If your answer is the second option, then you would want him to get to know you first. The sex, should you choose to, comes after.
Us ladies love to hurry things up, which is why you might be tempted to sext him to quickly get his attention. But it might attract the wrong type of attention and he could end up perceiving you as that type of girl instead.
How to text a guy without being annoying
5. Don’t be clingy
This is an especially difficult tip to uphold. When we have our eyes on someone, we want to keep a close watch 24/7. However, being clingy will only push the guy away instead of attracting him to you.
An example would be texting him after he says he has to go. When your prospects says he will catch you later, this means he will be back and cant reply to your messages moving forward. Don’t send him texts when he’s away.
Guys are normally straight to the point and if he says he will text you later, it doesn’t mean that he got bored or he plans to ghost you. It will be really annoying if he feels his phone light up with messages when he’s preoccupied or come back to it and see messages from you. It truly is too early to text offline at this stage.
6. No multiple unanswered texts
Another sure-proof way to scare a guy away with clinginess is multiple texts being sent before he could reply to one. Yes, you are head over heels in excitement to be talking to him, but keep the giddiness to yourself.
“Hey!” Next message: “How are you?” Next message: “You available to meet sometime soon for drinks?” Next message: “Oh, did you hear…” Just typing that out was cringe already.
Instead of numerous texts being shot by a machine gun, why not one substantial message with a greeting, body, and closing? This will give him the idea that you are a well-versed woman who is patient enough to type out a message and wait for a reply.
7. Don’t smile or react too much
Imagine meeting the guy in person. Won’t it be weird if you smile too much or laugh at everything he says? Same concept applies for texting. Don’t include too many “haha” in your text or add multiple emojis at the end.
I don’t know about you, but guys seem to turn a blind eye to punctuations, emojis, and other text accessories. Sending him a text with an overload of those things could yield more harm than progress.
How to text a guy and make him want you
Now that you’ve passed the introductions and reached a more intimate level in your texting game, it’s time to make him want you back.
8. Don’t let the conversation die
First of all, if you’ve retained the guy’s attention at this point in time clearly means he is interested as well. He wouldn’t have continued replying if he wasn’t as guys are creatures of habit – they give attention to things that pique their interest.
From here on out, keeping the conversation alive ensures the success of making the guy want you. Never (ever) let the conversation go through a lull. If you feel that he’s zoning out on the conversation, change topic into something you’ve sensed he’s rather passionate about.
It may take you researching more about his hobbies, which is always a good thing because knowledge is power, to get back his attention but it would be worth it.
9. Ask a question
“Enough about me, let’s talk about you,” is another not-so-secret weapon to get the guy wanting you. When you show clear interest on someone, they are flattered and more often than not, are more inclined to reciprocate the feeling.
Ask him about more intimate topics such as his goals, ambitions, his stand on things political, and the like. When you get a reply and you share the same opinion, let him know. However, avoid replying with, “Me too.” Instead, you can say, “I think the same way.” Then add why.
If you don’t agree, then let him know as well without coming off as arrogant. Questions are great way to break the ice and keep the conversation going.
10. Seen-zone a bit
The opposite of clingy and desperate is seen-zoning someone. Yes, it may seem like a low blow but you really can’t always be available for someone, even if he’s your crush.
We all know how this works. You push yourself on him too much, he runs away. You don’t reply for a couple of hours or a day, and he can’t get you out of his mind.
Truly, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
The tips mentioned above are merely guidelines to texting a guy that you like and could be completely disregarded or mixed and matched accordingly.
Texting someone you’re interested in is always an exciting period and only you could really tell what is the right approach to take in getting to know that special someone. There is usually a stage that you pass when texting someone and when you do, you can be more casual with each other with less rules and regulations and more fun.