12 Dirty Birthday Party Ideas For Your 30th Birthday!

When that big birthday is looming up and you want to celebrate it with a big bang and in style because heck, it’s your thirtieth after all, what can you do? It’s the next milestone birthday after your twenty-first but for your twenty-first, you probably got ultra-inebriated and passed out in the wee hours of the morning, perhaps around 4am.

To celebrate your thirtieth is a milestone which means you’re heading into what is known as your ‘dirty thirties’ and there’s maturity but also the essence of being young enough still to party hard. So, what can you do to really pull out all the bells and whistles for your big thirtieth birthday? There are a plethora of ways to spend your big birthday with friends and family and why not get down and dirty with R-rated themes. Here are twelve ideas for your big thirtieth birthday celebration.

So, what are some wishes and dirty jokes you can make for your friend or family member’s thirtieth birthday? There is a myriad of them and it’s hard to choose which one to use but there are sweet messages, funny messages and even dirty jokes or dirty wishes. After all, it’s a birthday milestone which means heading into the ‘dirty thirties’. Let’s start with the sweet ones, shall we?

One sickly sweet message could be ‘Nothing lights up my world like your 24-carat smile. May your 30s always make you feel happy and alive. Happy 30th birthday’.

Another along similar lines is ‘just like you have made my life golden, may everything in your life glitter like gold as you celebrate your 30th birthday.  I hope you have a deliriously joyful day’.

For ultra-sweet about your friend or family here’s one: ‘for 30 beautiful years, you have made this world a more pleasant place for all who love you’.

For those of you who want to mention the loss of the twenties and the impending thirties ahead as your friends and family member grows older, here are a few that take the mickey out of being thirty.

Firstly, ‘you may not be as young as you were yesterday, but you are definitely more handsome/beautiful. It’s my hope that your 30th birthday will be as wonderful as your companionship has been to me’;

Secondly: ‘your 20s might have just abandoned you, but at least you can take solace in the fact that you have now entered your 30s and not your 40s. Don’t feel bad. Enjoy today!’

And third, ‘Happy 30th birthday! May your 20s rest in perfect peace’. The change from twenties to thirties often comes with an expectation of maturity but who says being thirty is old? It’s young and as young as you feel and you can still party on as if you were twenty though you might have more of a hangover.

Let’s get down and dirty for the dirty jokes and messages for a thirtieth birthday.

First off the rank is ‘may your birthday be sweeter than an orgasm. Have an extremely pleasurable 30th birthday!’ And why not! They say chocolate is as good if not better than an orgasm but turning thirty could be as sweet as one too.

Another is ‘Happy Birthday to someone old enough to remember what it was like to poop without a smartphone’.

Try this one for your friend: ‘thirty really sneaks up on you – kinda like a thong’

You might like to run with this one, ‘at thirty you can get flirty without being dirty’.

Another dirty birthday message to use for your friend is ‘contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion so enjoy it on your thirtieth birthday!’

Try this one for a dirty joke: ‘My best wishes, best friend. Please don’t blow on the cake too hard, because some of us actually plan to eat it’.

Let’s start with a truly disgusting meme to send across to your friend for their birthday:

Another one to rattle your friend is ‘Everyone: Why don’t you have kids yet? Me: Because the pipe doesn’t go to the marshmallow room, it goes to the fudge room!’

Another funny meme to send over to someone is ‘They said I could do anything so I masturbated’.

Let’s get really horribly disgusting with ‘If your Grandma’s furniture is covered in plastic… it’s because she’s a squirter’.

Another one to make you laugh or cry is ‘From all of the sexual partners I had, humans were the most disgusting’.

For those with loose bowel motions, why not try this one: ‘My love for you is like diarrhea, I can’t hold it in’.

People love lesbians but are sometimes wary of gay guys so try this funny meme for someone special ‘Gay people are disgusting and need to be burned… Not lesbians though. Lesbians are hot!’

More to come such as ‘When your friend leaves themselves logged into Facebook on your computer: “I’m Jerry Smith and I love sucking big sweaty dicks and licking disgusting furry testicle sacks’.

You can get down and dirty with this meme: ‘That makes me moister than an oyster’ and put a picture of an elderly lady or gramps to complement it.

Or if your friend is still single when turning thirty, this one is great: ‘Dear bud, if you’re not married by this time next year, my gift to you is going to be a mail-order bride"

Or this one ‘Many happy returns! My wish for you is a long life, completely free of STDs’.   

Finally, this one grabbed my attention, 'I am Morgan Freeman, and I am wishing you a Happy Birthday! and you just read it in my voice.'

So you’re having a thirtieth birthday party and not sure what theme to have, we have the answer for you! The thirtieth birthday is a milestone that you just cannot ignore and it’s one to celebrate with style and panache… and a little bit of dirtiness and R-rated themes to it too.

Hire a topless waitress or waiter to serve drinks throughout the party and let everyone enjoy goggling at them and keep the drinks flowing with this idea.

Even better, if you have games involving stripping down, let the waiter or waitress join in too and get more of an eye full than what you originally bargained for!

Let the games begin and play strip poker or drinking games that involve stripping layers of clothing when you lose around.

For the fourth idea, organize a cake which is two breasts so the birthday person can do a motorboat in the cake or a penis with balls cake for the girl or the guy whose birthday it is. Either way, it’s funny and guaranteed laughs.

Number five on the hot list for dirty or R-rated birthday themes, make delicious cupcakes representing poop with edible stickers or pop-up signs saying ‘crap, you are old!’

The next theme idea is a pimp and ho party; let everyone dress up like a pimp or ho and play porn on the television screen for the duration of the party.

Let’s go with the classic old stripper theme; what birthday milestone is complete without a stripper in a fireman or police uniform or heck, even a nurse uniform?

Eighth on the list is for everyone to strip down and roll and paint one another in whatever colors take their fancy; everyone getting naked is a great thing because after all, we were born naked.

Why not try this idea, make is a wishing well where guests can place a naughty gift in the wishing well for the birthday girl or guy; naughty gifts could be a vibrator or anal pleasure toy.

For the tenth idea, why not play a game of noughts and crosses with a marble game and whoever loses has to kiss the winner.

Or, an eleventh idea is to play spin the bottle and get your guests kissing one another for a bit of fun whether they’re married or partnered or not!

And finally, number twelve, get everyone to demonstrate the weirdest sexual position they like and see who wins out of it!

There are so many ideas for your dirty thirtieth birthday that we cannot cover them all but for sure, there are plenty more where these came from. It’s exciting, it’s exuberant and it’s your thirtieth birthday so celebrate it with style and a little bit of dirty flavor added to the theme. You can still party on as you did in your twenties though you might wake up with the awful feeling called a hangover; still, it will be a fantastic night and one to fully enjoy as you only turn thirty once and now you’re in your dirty thirties, it’s time to roll out the hook-ups and ONS – one-night-stands – and enjoy your thirties to the fullest!