Learn the Essential 10 DO’s and DON'Ts with a Sex Worker

What sex education doesn't cover- unspoken rules with sex workers

By Fred S.
Learn the Essential 10 DO’s and DON'Ts with a Sex Worker

Prostitution has been legalized in many countries around the world and is now being accepted as a normal profession minus the conventional stigma associated with it. Orthodoxy dictates that anything that involves sex outside marriage is a grave sin that needs to be discouraged by hook or by crook. The 21st century has seen a vast range of sex-positivity campaigns to highlight how we as humans need sex as much as we need food and water to survive.  

Hiring a sex worker is a compromise that many people make to satiate themselves. The greater acceptance for this ilk of labor has led to the outlining of a code of conduct that needs to be followed whenever you are dealing with a worker, allowing them to be treated as any other corporate employee without the risk of their exploitation. 

Types of Sex Workers

1. Escorts

These workers are hired via online communication, with the required services being offered on the site that you choose. It is not binding upon the prostitute to arrange the place, food and other materials that might be needed, they just need to make their way to the address that you provide. Owing to an exclusive and concealed service, these workers usually charge the highest when compared to other types. 

2. Street Sex Workers

They publicize what they have to offer in overt settings, such as the local park, on the street and other such places. You can engage in any type of agreed-upon sex in the outdoors as well, as long as both of you are in agreement. 

3. Private Sex Workers

Private sex workers are a cross between the prostitutes who live and serve in designated brothels or buildings and escorts. You need to approach them yourselves, agree on a time and go meet them in their own place of business.  

4. Bar Sex Workers

This kind of prostitutes advertises themselves along the drink corner of a jammed bar, dance club, and similar venues. Most of the time, you might need to buy them a drink in addition to paying the agreed-upon sum of money in return for their sexual services to you. 

5. Brothel Sex Workers

Brothels are expansive buildings and sites inhabited by a large group of prostitutes where you need to visit and pay to have sex. The main advantage of opting for this kind of sex services is the legalized status of these ventures, ridding you from the vexation of the worker’s age and other pertinent information that may cause future troubles with the law. 

Sex Workers' Rights and Campaigns

As stated earlier, the society has been adamant to recognize prostitution as readily as it acknowledges the legitimacy of other professions. This results not only in this sector being marginalized but also being subjected to undue verbal, physical and sexual abuse. 

Keeping in view the importance of these workers and to help them have the same privileges as any other laborer, multiple movements have been initiated around the globe. Feminists are particularly instrumental in bringing to light the hardships prostitutes endure just because of their means of livelihood and it is with their unwavering efforts that an International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers has been declared on the 17th of December. In addition, movements now focus on allowing the legalization of prostitution in a way that safeguards their rights and helps inhibit the increasing trends of human trafficking done for the sole purpose of forced prostitution internationally. The result of these campaigns has been a more accepted picture of the work together with other fringe benefits, such as pension for older sex workers who are no longer fit for business but have no other means of income.  

The latest development in this aspect has been the Indian initiative to decrease the incidence and prevalence of STDs in prostitutes under the project name of Sonakshi. Similar projects have been started worldwide to make the society believe that a sex worker has rights too. 

10 Dos and Don'ts: Unspoken rules to adhere with a sex worker

Do’s

1. Consent

Most people forget the fundamental courtesy that each and everyone deserves before doing anything, asking for consent. It should not matter whether they are a stripper, a prostitute or someone you share a sexual bond with, you are not allowed to touch them or have sex with them if they do not agree to it. 

2. Treating them with kindness

Handle them as you would like to be treated yourself. If you two meet at a bar or a hotel, do remember to offer them the food that you yourself are ordering or at least ask them if they are hungry or would like to drink something. They are as human as you are. 

3. Giving them due respect

Their field of work and service should not make you look down on them. Do not cross the lines of human decency when you talk to them or are engaging in intercourse with them. 

4. Making sure that you pay them in full

They are your employees who deserve the amount of that you two have agreed upon prior to availing their services. Give them each and every penny that satisfies their asked for rates. 

5. Using contraception

No one deserves an STD, use contraception whenever you have sex with a prostitute. This will keep both of you safe. 

6. Being open about any transmittable disease

If you have a condition that is contagious and might negatively affect the health of the prostitute you are about to have sex with, you should tell them everything about it beforehand to let them make a decision. 

7. Maintaining personal hygiene

Sex involves hands and genitalia, the parts of our bodies that are the dirtiest. Ensure well-maintained health down there and clip your nails plus wash your hands before you get all handsy with them. 

8. Using lubes

Comfort for all members engaging in intercourse should be taken care of. If you are penetrating someone, make the whole affair easier for them. 

9. Contacting them via proper channels

Approach them via their correspondents or their publicized contact numbers and addresses only.  

10. Maintaining secrecy

Keep it a private affair. They might not be in favor of you making a show of their services via means that they do not approve of. 

Don’ts

1. Using uncalled-for force

Do not physically harm them for the sake of rough sex. Real-life is different from pornography and no one deserves to be hurt for your pleasure. 

2. Humiliating them for their profession

Never talk or act like they are any less than everyone else. Selling their bodies for them is their profession that should not be mocked for any reason. 

3. Getting religious with them

Especially if you are determined to have sex with them, do not in any way act as the moral and religious police by trying to make them quit on a way of life that they have no problem with. 

4. Taking pictures and videos without asking first

Ask them before you make the entire session public. They are paid for having sex with you, not for the videos that are usually floated later over the web without them being asked. 

5. Going through their stuff

If they bring a bag or any other belongings, those are their possessions and you should try not to trespass into their personal space. They do not owe you anything saves sex. 

6. Following them after a session

Do not act as the creepy customer that follows their escort’s uber just to learn about their whereabouts. This is borderline stalking that could land you into serious troubles. Once the session is over, there is nothing you have to do with them. 

7. Forcing them to drink

Do not, under any circumstances, coerce them into having alcohol with you. This is a sign of disrespect for their boundaries. 

8. Complaining about a dearth of what has not been agreed on

If a worker charges differently for different services, do not make a fuss about not getting what you did not pay for. Holistic sex does not fall under this domain, you only have the right to demand what you pay for. 

9. Bargaining for a discount after the whole affair

Do not persuade them to give up their rightful money because of you being their long-time customer or for any other reasons. They earned it! 

10. Approaching them when you are drunk

Stay away from sex workers if you are wasted. They do not approve of that and you might end up engaging in activities that are essentially abusive and exploitative. 

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Summary

Sex is the essence of life and there is a legal market for it in the places that allow prostitution. However, it is important that you know how to approach prostitutes to satisfy yourself and how to treat them once they’ve been hired. Belonging to a stigmatized profession does not make them any less human than a white-collar employee, hence, they deserve the same reverence as to anyone else.  

Follow this guide the next time you hire a sex worker to know how to deal with them better. 

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