Read More To Deal With Narcissist Abuse
Has a narcissist been part of your life? Have you been in a relationship with someone that expects admiration and adulation on a daily basis, but when it comes to your needs, he or she is oblivious? Is this person someone who thinks that he's better than everyone else so he or she should be treated accordingly? Yes, unfortunately for you, there's a narcissist in your life and dealing with her or him is not easy, it's very frustrating, right?
You need to know how to deal with this person so you can avoid being abused by him or her, so you can protect yourself from all the powerplays, and so that you can establish healthy boundaries.
What is a narcissist?
That's how a person who's self-centered and has zero or no empathy is referer to but it's not that simple. A narcissist is a person with a mental health condition called narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). A narcissistic personality disorder, according to the Mayo Clinic, is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
We tend to say that a narcissist has a lot of self-love but the truth is that he's in love with an idealized and larger than life image of himself (or herself), and the reason they're in love with this image is that it lets them avoid deep feelings of insecurity.
We're sure that throughout your life you have encountered some narcissist characters, a parent, a friend, a boss, a coworker or a romantic partner who thought the world of you when you met all his or her needs but once all the adulation and admiration came to an end you were disregarded and devalued. Sounds familiar? It's tough to deal with a person with NPD because they are so resistant to changing their behavior, even when it causes them problems. They are never in fault, so they tend to blame others so they always end up on top.
And it gets worse because they're very sensitive and if you critique them, disagree with them or treat them with indifference or worse, ignore them, they would react badly because they view all this as personal attacks.
Beware of these signs of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder
It's easy to lose yourself if you're involved with a narcissist, but you can avoid being abused by one if you know what signs to look for so you don't fall for the fantasy.
They have a grandiose sense of self-importance
If you need a defining characteristic to describe a narcissist, it would be grandiosity because it is more than just vanity or arrogance; a narcissist has an unrealistic sense of superiority. They are better than everyone else, they're unique, to good for anything ordinary or average and expect recognition accordingly (even when they have done nothing to deserve it). They are the stars.
They live in a fantasy world
Reality doesn't support the grandiose way they view themselves, so they live in a fantasy world where there's a lot of distortion, self-deception and magical thinking. In this world, they spin fantasies where they have unlimited success, brilliance, power, ideal relationships, all this makes them feel special and in control. So anything that threatens so burst this fantasy bubble is met with a fierce defensiveness and rage.
They need constant praise and admiration
Narcissists are not satisfied with occasional compliments, they need their egos fed constantly so they're always surrounded with people that are willing to do that. Their relationships are very one-sided, it's all about them, never about the ones complimenting them. If that praise is interrupted, they interpret this as a betrayal.
They expect favorable treatment as their due
They considered themselves special, so for them, it's a given that they have to be treated accordingly. What they want, they get, they truly believe that. The only value that people surrounding them have, for them, is how they comply with their every wish and whim. If they fail in their "mission" or ask for something in return they're met with aggression, outage or a cold shoulder.
They lack empathy
They never develop the ability to sympathize or identify with the feelings of others. They view the people in their lives as objects, so they exploit them without guilt or shame. They don't think how their behavior is affecting others, they're oblivious.
They put people down when they feel threatened
Whenever they encounter someone who threatens their fantasy bubble (really confident people, or people who don't bend to them or challenge them), their only way to neutralize the situation is by putting them down, belittle them. That's their defense mechanism: contempt.
10 Best Selling Books To Understand And Deal With These Narcissists Characters
Now that you know what a narcissist is and you recognize it in one or both of your parents, or in the person you're involved with. you'll need more tools to deal with them. Narcissist Personality Disorder is a complicated disorder to deal with, especially because the one suffering it is very reluctant to do anything to get better, so if you can't do anything to change them, you'll need to understand what is it about so you can learn to deal with it and not let that person abuse you.
Here are 10 best selling books that can help you deal with a narcissistic mother, husband or wife.
Books About Narcissistic Mothers
1. Trapped in the Mirror
If you want an in-depth psychological book about the effects of growing up with a narcissistic mother or father, you'll have to get and read this book. It's a book for those who really want to explore the consequences of being raised by a narcissistic parent. It can either be a self-help book and a self-heal one.
2. Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing The Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
If you've suffered the abuse of a selfish and self-involved mother, then this book is definitely for you because it provides some really good expert assistance you need to overcome all this history of abuse and reclaim your life. Dr. Mcbride wrote a warm and sympathetic book to first, help daughters of narcissist mothers recognize the effects of the emotional abuse they've suffered and also offers a program (individualized) to aid them in their recovery.
3. Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-up's Guide To Getting Over Narcissistic Parents
This is a highly recommended book that takes adult children of narcissists mothers or fathers through what's it like, as a child, to be raised by a narcissist. It also describes how this particular upbringing has lasting and severe impacts on your emotional and psychological well being and why you're unable to interact with others in a healthy way. The author offers a guide with proven techniques to help children of narcissistic parents deal with their parent's behavior.
4. The Narcissistic Family: A Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment
In this book, the authors make the comparison that being raised by narcissistic mothers or fathers has the same emotionally equivalent characteristics of being raised by alcoholic parents. They present a therapeutic model that's innovative for understanding and treating adults from emotionally abusive or neglecting families.
Books About Narcissist Husband
5. Narcissistic Husband: Recovering from the Bogus Love, Breakup and Emotional Abuse from a Narcissist
This ebook is written from personal experience by the author, her journey from discovering that her husband was a narcissist and how she survived him. A great read for those married to a narcissistic husband, it'll show you that you're not alone and that you can get out and heal.
6. Married to a Narcissist: Enduring the Struggle and Finding You Again
A book written by Catenya McHenry, a fighter who's husband was a narcissist that blame her for everything. In this book, she tells her story, her journey on how she distanced herself from the abuse, her struggle and how she found a way to get out and love herself again.
7. Will I Ever be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal your Family
Dr. McBride is a leading authority on narcissism and in this book she offers proven therapeutic advice that can help women who're divorcing a narcissistic husband, protect and nurture themselves and their children.
Books about Narcissist Wife
8. Surviving the Female Narcissist: It's all about Her
If you have fallen in love and married a narcissist, this ebook offers personal accounts from other men in your same situation. It explains the narcissist personality and offers a Six-Step guide to help you break free of her and her "crazy train".
9. When Evil is a Pretty Face: Narcissistic Females & The Pathological Relationship Agenda
This book is written for male victims of narcissistic wives or girlfriends which life has become a confusing psychological nightmare that has no end. It explains why she does and says what she says and how her twisted mind works and that the only way to really get out and recover is no contact at all.
10. Narcissist Lovers: How To Cope, Recover and Move On
This book is based on the authors' research with men and women in relationships with narcissistic husbands o wives. It features compelling stories and scenarios and can help victims understand the pain brought on by their narcissistic partners (abusers), show them why they can't change and offer hope for recovering.
Dealing with a narcissistic character is a really hard thing to do because in most cases they won't change and the nightmare you're in will have no end. The best thing you can do is fill yourself with information about the mental disorder so you can understand it better and then, know what to do and how you can heal yourself and your family.