Crush On Someone But Already In A Relationship?
Are you crossing the line? Learn how to gain back control of your emotion
Aug 19, 2019
Crushing on someone can be extremely overwhelming especially if you get to see that person around often. Most of the time when you are crushing on someone you get extremely nervous and anxious around them. In order to gain back your emotions, the best thing you can do is regain your composure. Do not let your emotions and feelings get the best of you. To regain your composure, start acting busy to divert your attention. However most of the time, our facial expressions say it all. You need to stop blushing in front of your crush to not make your feelings for him too evident.
What Are The Meaning Behind These Emotions You Are Feeling Right Now
Having a crush on someone means you will have butterflies in your stomach whenever that person is around. You would look your best around your crush only to hear a compliment from him. However, having a crush on someone does not mean that you are in love with them. You might only be crushing on one of their apparent traits like a smile, or physique. Most of the time when you get to know your crush more than just a pretty face, your crush fades away. You will feel excited being around your crush but just know that this could be temporary. You don’t fall in love with someone only because of their apparent traits. Hence evaluate that if this person you are giving so much importance too even worth all that.
How To Stop A Crush On Someone You Barely Knew At Work Especially While In A Relationship With Another Person
1. Avoid them when they are online
If you are already in a relationship with someone but you are crushing on someone from work, the first thing you can do is to start avoiding them on social media especially after the work hours. If you continue stalking them when they come online just to talk to them, you will never be able to get over it. It might be hard to just ignore someone completely but you should try lessening it. Once you have started learning to ignore them online, you can definitely succeed in ignoring them in person as well.
2. Reduce in-person interactions
When you are crushing on someone from work, it is hard to completely cut off in-person interactions as you are colleagues. However, you can keep the interaction strictly professional. Avoid hanging out with them after work or just go out with them when the entire team is accompanying you. If you continue spending time with them in person after work hours, there is a high possibility that your feelings might start getting serious. However, when you are already in a relationship with someone else, spending time with your crush after work hours could be considered as cheating on your partner. Do not let this end a beautiful relationship you are already in. You don’t even know if your crush is worth all this attention or not.
3. Stay busy
Staying busy definitely helps you move on. It distracts your mind from thinking about your crush. When you are not working, you can spend time doing things you like such as painting or writing, or even cooking. Spend more time with your partner and try to not think about your crush at all. There is a reason that crushes happen because of an external trait. You are in a relationship not because of the external traits but the reasons are deeper than that. Don’t let this illusion of a crush come between you and your lover because the illusion is all it is. Find activities to do with your partner and stay busy with them. In no time, you will laugh at yourself for even thinking about someone else because you will be reminded of the value of your relationship.
4. Talk to your friends
There will be times when you might feel shitty about yourself for thinking about someone else while you are already in a relationship, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember that you are not the only one who is going through this phase or has been through this phase. You should talk to your friends about it and ask them for advice. Real friends will never judge you no matter what you do. After all, you haven’t cheated and you’re consciously making an effort to not let this temporary rush of feelings get to you.
5. Write your feelings
Writing down your feelings helps a lot as it will give you a lot of clarity. Just take a journal and write everything down. It will give you a therapeutic feeling as penning down your emotions releases stress. Try writing about why you’re with the person you’re currently with, all the reasons you love about them and why they make your life better. Sometimes, all these important reasons are forgotten and covered beneath the veil of a routine. You need to get under it and be reminded of all the good things and worth of your relationship.
6. Consider your reputation
When you are crushing on someone in a workplace and everyone else there know that you are already in a relationship with someone, it will have a bad impact on your reputation. People will start judging you for cheating on your partner even though you are just crushing on someone. Hence to stop a crush on someone you barely know, consider that you don’t want to be tagged as characterless especially at your workplace.
7. Focus on your crush’s negative traits
You are the best judge of your feelings. If you think your crush on someone is getting stronger, you should try finding negative traits in that person to get over this crush as soon as possible. Most of the times we are crushing on someone without even knowing much about them. However, if we find out the person they are, our crush might just end right away.
8. Give time to your partner
When you are in a relationship with someone but you start crushing on someone else, there is a high possibility that your relationship isn’t as exciting and fun anymore as it used to be. Start spending more time with your partner and try learning new things about each other. If your partner is doing his best to keep you happy, appreciate him and try to invest in him equally. After work, don’t let those thoughts distract you from spending quality time with your partner. Maybe take a break from work and go on a trip with your partner. You will definitely realize that your partner is the best thing that could happen to you and you don’ want to ruin this only for a temporary crush you barely know.
9. Change your job
If you tried everything but despite all your efforts you are unable to get over your crush than the best thing you can do is change your job. If you can’t change the job, ask your manager to allocate you somewhere where you don’t have to work with your crush. As they say, what’s out of sight is out of mind. When you won’t get to see your crush every day, it will start fading automatically.
10. Talk to your partner
If you have tried your best to get over your crush but are still unable to stop thinking about him, take to your partner about it. Tell him it’s just a crush and nothing serious but you don’t want to hide things from him or cheat him. If he understands you, both of you can try to make it work together. If he doesn’t understand then maybe it will get easier for you to decide if you want to continue being in a relationship with your partner or end it.
Do not bore your crush with irrelevant talk. Here are 20 interesting topics to talk about with your crush that would leave him glued to you!
Conclusion
Crush is a feeling that can give you butterflies in the stomach but it is not loved. When you are in love with someone you love them for the person they are but when you are crushing on someone you don’t necessarily know what kind of a human being they are. You are just crushing on their apparent traits like their smile or height or voice. To get over a crush especially when you are in a relationship with someone else, you need to keep yourself as distracted as possible. Do not let your temporary emotions destroy something permanent.