Marriage is a messy business. It comes with all sorts of roller-coaster emotions and unexpected events. Even though there are happy moments which makes it worth the sacrifices and blood and sweat but it is safe to say that you can never be fully prepared. It is a relationship that is full of surprises. Whenever both of you assume that everything is all sorted, BOOM! Another problem needs your immediate attention. Why do such conflicts arise? They arise because after leading two completely separate life, with different family backgrounds, growing up under completely different values, both the parties are bound to be very different from each other. There will come so many events where husband and wife will have different opinions and reasonable facts to back their opinion up. Most of the times such differences are worked out through discussions and finding common ground but in many other cases, one of the partners is dominant and the other is submissive. This means whatever the dominant partner says is the final decision and the submissive one will just go along with it. This article will shed light on the advantages of being a submissive wife, its cons, what it really means and why being submissive doesn’t mean that you’re weak.
What Does It Mean To Be Submissive
Being submissive means obediently following another person and conform whatever they decide to do. Some of the synonyms of the qualities of a submissive person are passive, timid, patient, meek and manageable.
When it comes to the wife being submissive, this means that the husband is at the driver’s and you’re okay with him completely taking control while you’re at the passenger’s seat. Let’s look at this aspect on a deeper level.
Why Submissive Does Not Mean You Are Weak And Bullied
You’d be surprised at how much strength is needed when it comes to being submissive. The fact that being submissive is considered weak will continue to surprise me considering the amount of self-control, patience, and self-assurance. All these are qualities of strong people and not the weak one. In a relationship, being submissive can also mean being smart about putting out your needs and having them met without disagreements and fights. Being a submissive wife is associated with an abusive husband who doesn’t take the needs and happiness of his wife in the account but we need to change that because I’m not encouraging women to tolerate abuse, I’m encouraging women to prioritize the happiness of the household. If you’re being bullied or abused, do not tolerate that in the name of submission but get out of the marriage immediately.
The Pros Of Being Submissive
There are always two sides to a coin. Sure there are a few cons of being the submissive one but there are some pros too which works as a motivator for submissive women.
There is a universal rule when it comes to respecting… Give respect and get respect. When the dominant party continuously receives respects from the submissive partner, he is bound to reciprocate it. When one party is clearly submissive, be it a woman, there is a clear line of respect between the couple. When there is no disagreement or debate as to who is the decision-maker of the home, there are no arguments and both the partners respect and love each other.
2. Peaceful Home
Marriage is a paradox of random things. Similarly, it’s both, strong and sensitive at the same time. One of its strengths is the peace it brings to the members of the house. Your partner should be someone who gives you a break from the chaos of this world. If only chaos is what you’re offering each other than maybe it’s time to reconsider if it’s worth it. One of the many things a submissive wife ensures is that the house is peaceful – vacant of meaningless fights and chaos so that both partners can flourish and grow together in a calm and positive environment.
3. No headache of decision-making
Decision making can be a very stressful responsibility. When it comes to your house, it can be even more pressurizing than other decisions. When you’re the submissive one, you don’t have to stress over how to handle what is just one of the many advantages a submissive wife has. You can party, hang out with friends and do whatever you want and leave all the worrying decisions to your loving husband. Your husband will only do what’s best for the both of you and your marriage which is why you know that decision are in trusted hands.
The Cons Of Being Submissive
Being a submissive wife has its cons too. Some of those cons are discussed below.
4. Sometimes you crave control
There are times when you want to be listened to too but being the submissive one, you know that’s not going to happen. This is one of the cons of being the submissive one in a relationship.
5. Husband is the decision-maker
Submissive wife listens to whatever her husband decides which means that she has no control over the decision regarding the household. If there is a decision you’re really uncomfortable with, try politely discussing it with your husband. Husband has the responsibility to make his wife happy when he is the dominant one so being the one in charge, there are high chances that he will listen to you but of course, the final decision will be his.
6. High chances of being manipulated
If you’re the submissive one and your husband isn’t a good person, this means you’ve given over control of your life and marriage to an unfit man. This increases the chances of you being manipulated and the relationship turns toxic. You need to be conscious of when you need to let go when this is the case. Because if you decide to hold on, it will only result in you being utterly unhappy and if you decide to have children, they will learn unhealthy relationship behaviors.
So should I be submissive or not?
You don’t have to change yourself to make a marriage work. It’s not a question of what you should be it’s a question of what you are and who you are compatible with. Ask yourself if being a follower brings you happiness from the inside or not. If yes, being a submissive wife is your best call because it will bring nothing but happiness and joy in your marriage. If your personality is dominant then changing it just to make your marriage work will make you unhappy from the inside. This should be completely your call and what you are comfortable with. If you and your husband both have dominant personalities and both are willing to find common ground and meet halfway then that’s the way to go. When two people love each other, they don’t demand the other one to chance. The foundation of marriage should be love otherwise it just cannot make a happy home… If your husband has a submissive personality, you can work out a situation where both of you are comfortable with you being the decision-maker. Whatever makes the two of you happy and the love alive is the right way… changing who you are isn’t.
The conclusion is that there is no harm or insult in being the submissive one. None at all! In fact, we all have heard about the proverb that says that opposite attracts. Dominance is a trait that has historically been more prominent in males as submission in females. With changing times, the world has progressed and the concept of equality has prevailed. This doesn’t mean that you have to follow what everybody else is following. If being submissive brings you happiness and your male counterpart is happy being the dominant one then go for it. It can be the other way around or both of you can equally take part in decision making as long as it’s what you both agree on. Being the submissive partner has its pros and cons. You have to remember that being the submissive one doesn’t imply in any way that you must tolerate abuse because abuse in a marriage can only escalate to a much worse scenario.