What Should You Do Next After Having Sex With Someone?
If there's one word that emits passion and intimacy, romanticism and an overpowering sensation, it's sex. But, you'll agree with us that sex can also be all kinds of awkward, especially in the aftermath of the first time you do it with someone new. As natural as the act of having sex is for us humans, the aftermath ... is not. This, of course, excludes couples that are in a serious relationship, they have got the hang of it, plus there's not just the physical thing, they have a deep connection and that makes all the difference.
The awkward situations or moments are for those couples that are casually seeing each other or for the hookups or for the couples that have been seeing each other on a regular basis but are not committed. The "how you should act afterward" is not always clear. It is just that there are tons of information about what you can do to increase your chances of having sex or how to make the most of the experience, but when it comes to information about what to do after, there's a lacking.
There's a lot of questions or doubts that couples have regarding the etiquette after sex. Each situation should be different and particular to each couple but there are some general "rules" on how to behave after you have slept with a guy for the first time. If you're not sure on how to act to avoid those awkward moments in this particular scenario, then keep reading and pay attention to the following advice.
Enjoy the afterglow
Ok, you just had an amazing time, now's not the time to start analyzing everything, it's time to lie down and enjoy the afterglow. We know you crave that moment right? where all is peace and harmony? If you crave it so much, then don't spoil it by asking him questions or by asking him to do it again. He'll appreciate that statement once he "recovers", besides you don't want him to think you're a crazy girl. Establish a line here and don't cross it, let him lead the way and you'll have what you want.
Pay him a compliment
Guys really dig that, they like hearing about their sizzling sex skills. the guy you just had sex with could feel anxious about his performance in bed, so he'll be prone to hear that you had a good time with him. Plus, men tend to dose off after the deed is finish, so by giving him that flattering feedback you'll be preventing that. It's a win-win.
Be sure to be specific about what part or parts of the encounter you really liked, otherwise, he'll think is just lip-service. For example, describe for him your favorite position, a little dirty talk will ensure you the next time if that is what you both want.
Give him a massage
If you want to maintain a physical connection with him, a massage it's a great way to achieve it. Just avoid the foreplay hot spots, like all his pelvic region, he won't appreciate that. You can search and unluck other erogenous zones. You can go for a relaxing and sensual massage session too. Position yourself so that you're lying on your side and facing him, trace light circles on his torso, start on his chest and go down to his navel and then back up Or you can start on sliding your fingertips from his collarbone and down over his chest.
Act cool about the sleeping arrangements
If you had sex with a new guy and you're not very acquainted, him staying at your place or you staying at his may not be a good idea or it could... it will all depend on what you both want. If after, he suggests that you can stay for a sleepover (and if you're willing), then stay, but play it cool and don't read anything more to it (meaning he's not going to propose to you). Also, if you ended up at your place and he says something like "I had a great time but I need to head over to my place now", go with the flow and don't act clingy.
What should you do next after having sex with a partner you have dated for awhile
In this scenario, you are not strangers and this is not a hookup. You have been dating for a while and have got to know each other, so there's some kind of connection. That should make things easier in terms of you knowing the rules and having some kind of clue how to act or what to do after having sex... right? It shouldn't be awkward but just to be on the safe side take note of these tips, so you can avoid them.
Stay awake, don't go to sleep immediately after sex
Men tend to do this more often than women, there could be a lot of reasons, they're already in bed, they really exhausted themselves or because of the chemical "cocktail" (oxytocin, endorphins, prolactin, gamma-aminobutyric acid), that's released after sex. All this acts as a huge dose of Nyquil. Nevertheless, you should try to avoid pulling up the blankets and going to sleep immediately after sex. One of you may find it insulting. Don't dose off and avoid sending the wrong message to your partner (you got what you wanted, so now you're rolling over and snoozing?), fight it and stay awake.
Avoid analyzing or criticizing the sex
Don't start analyzing his every move or the entire act after you just finished it. It's a great risk and a huge mistake, no one wants to hear "constructive criticism" or how it could have been better after a hot rendezvous. Focus on all the positive things and praise instead. You should be careful of the words you use and how you phrase them because, in those afterward moments, they could be misinterpreted or taken out of context.
If you must say something about it, do it a few days later.
Take a shower together
Getting up and going straight to the shower to cleanse up after sex is something you need to avoid, it could send the wrong message to your partner like you feel dirty and icky and you can't wait to clean it up. Take some time after the act and enjoy the afterglow and then suggest you both take a shower together. Guys really like to hear that and it's something you both can get on board with.
Encourage cuddling but avoid clinginess and neediness
If you want to expand the experience and get some flirty and romantic conversations, then cuddling is your best option. There are many ways you can cuddle, you can snuggle in a blanket, you can spoon each other or you can just face each other and have some candid pillow talk. That time can make you two get closer and achieve intimacy. Avoid an awkward moment by being clingy and needy, that's going to kill the moment and can jeopardize your relationship.
How to act after having sex with someone you are pretty new to and want to keep him interested
So, you finally gave in and had sex with that guy you really like and it was pretty amazing. You two haven't known each other that long but you'd like to, you might even like to get serious with him. The thing is that now that he had sex with you, he may lose interest, so what can you do to keep him interested and hooked on you?
Make the afterglow last a little bit longer
You want to be with him as long as possible right? Then make sure you stay together way after you've had sex. You can snuggle, or make out some more, you can get something to eat, you can take a shower together, you can even watch TV together.
Don't pressure him
Guys don't like that, also they have the "ability" to see pressure when it's really not there. So, don't make him think or feel pressured, play it cool and casual and let him come to you again. If there's chemistry between you two and he really likes you he'll want to see you again.
Don't push for something more right away
If you've agreed to casual sex with no strings, then right now you're not in a position to push for something more. That'll only make him feel cornered and it could not bode well for you. If you continue to see each other, then casually bring the subject and test the waters to see if he's on the same page with you.
Make him chase you
This could prove challenging but if you want to keep him interested in you after you've had sex, you have to back up and make sure that he's the one reaching out or chasing after you. Stick to the plan, no matter how much you want to see him again, think of the end game. Resist the temptation of sending him lots of texts, if he texts you answer in the same tone, don't offer more information than what he's asking.
Play it cool and distant not cold, that tactic can go a long way into getting you your heart's desire.
Top 3 Frequently Asked After-Sex Awkward Questions
There could be a lot of questions or thoughts going through your head now that your heart and breathing have come to a normal rhythm. You just had a great bout of sex and you're wondering, now what? Since both of you are pretty new to each other, you're not sure what's the etiquette. You're not alone, a lot of women do that after having sex with a hookup or someone fairly new.
These are the top 3 questions frequently asked about those awkward after-sex moments.
1. Should I spend the night or go home?
If neither of you has defined the terms of the relationship, you wouldn't want to exceed your welcome ( if you ended up at his place). If it's just a hookup or a one-night stand, you probably shouldn't stay or ask him to stay. If the night was really steamy maybe he wouldn't mind... test the waters to see if you both want the sleepover.
2. Should I use the bathroom?
The answer here, according to the American Sexual Health Association, is yes. It's actually a necessity. It's recommended that you pee after having sex because that's a good way to ensure your comfort and help protect against infections. It's also recommended to wash from front to back.
3. Is it alright if we cuddle?
This one is a maybe? It'll depend on your relationship status and if you can handle it without being clingy or needy. Some guys like it and it's a nice way to extend the intimacy.
Avoiding awkward moments after having sex, especially if it's the first time with your guy, maybe possible after reading the suggestions above. Just remember that each situation and each scenario is different so you should take some time after the act to test the waters and then proceed accordingly. Or maybe, just go with the flow.