Letters Are The Best Way To Express Your Inner Most Emotions
As humans all our relationships have ups and downs, no relationship is a bed of roses all the time. There’s bound to be fighting, disagreement, lying, cheating, jealousy and many other instances of conflict. Unfortunately, in times like this one partner will be on the receiving end. Whether you want it or not, you must hurt your partner and break his heart at some point in your love story.
So no matter how great your relationship is, there will come a time when you need to apologize to your boyfriend over something you did to him. Sometimes an apology letter is the best way to go. A letter allows you to express your innermost feelings without actually being present. He may be so angry that he doesn’t even want to talk to you, but a well-written letter could be what you need to turn things around.
If you need a little inspiration on how to write an effective sorry letter that will convince Bae of how sorry you truly are and get you back on his good graces, here are a few guidelines you can follow.
15 Effective Letter Examples to Say Sorry For Hurting Him
1. Validate his feelings and acknowledge his hurt.
Maybe you didn’t mean to hurt your boyfriend but you did, you may not see things from his perspective but you should acknowledge his hurt and validate his feelings. Accept the fact that he has the right to his feelings whether you understand them or not. You should let him know you respect the way he feels and that he has the right to get upset without you judging him.
For example, you can say ‘‘ I’m sorry for hurting you, I want you to know that we’re not on opposite sides, we’re a team and we should be working together to solve this problem. I’m sorry I made you feel like I’m against you. I sometimes get self-absorbed, Please forgive me for what I did and rest assured I am always on your corner.’’
2. Take full responsibility
Admitting you’re wrong and taking full responsibility for your actions is always a good place to start when apologizing. Tell him ‘’ My love, it was wrong of me to have hurt you the way I did, please forgive me. If I could go back in time I will do things differently, I have learned my lesson and I know better now. I’m truly sorry for… and I hope this incident strengthens our love and relationship in forgiveness and understanding’’. What I did was wrong, and there’s no way around it. I want to learn from this experience.
3. Ask for forgiveness.
Don’t beat about the bush or circle around an apology, dive right in and ask for forgiveness plain and square. You could say something like ‘’ My love, kindly look past my faults and find it in your heart to forgive me. I’m so sorry for hurting you, I wish I could guarantee that I won’t cause you pain ever again but I’m not perfect, I’ll fall short again but one thing I can promise you is that I will do my best to protect your heart and our love at all cost. I love you always’’.
4. Say sorry and how important it is for you to fix things.
I want you to know how sorry I am for the things I said, I know I yelled and snapped at you, I sometimes get carried away and overreact. I know that you need space to calm down but I just want you to know that I’m ready to do right by you. I’ll appreciate the opportunity to make it up to you and show you how sorry I am. Please, don’t stay mad at me, bestow upon me the warmth of your embrace and bring back the joy in my life. Forgive me!
5. State your intentions
You know how much I love you and that I will never hurt you deliberately, it was never my intention to cause you pain, but I did and I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Seeing how badly I hurt you tear me apart so please don’t hold it against me. I hurt you, not because I don't love you, or because I don't care but because I’m human. I feel guilty and am ashamed for behaving in such a manner. Please forgive me. I long for your love once again and to hear the words "I love you.." from your lips.
6. Don’t Impose
When apologizing the last thing you want to do is give your partner the impression you’re imposing what you want on them, leave room for him to manoeuver and choose whether to forgive you or not and when to do so. Say ‘’ I will completely understand if you choose not to forgive me because I know I’m not deserving, however, I humbly ask for your forgiveness. I will be very grateful if you’re kind enough to give me a second chance, please don’t let this put an end to us, I love you so much and will do anything to preserve what we have’’.
7. Be Honest
There’s no need to dramatize your letter with unrealistic promises like you’ll never make him angry again. Coming across as manipulating and deceitful won’t help, say exactly what you mean and what you know you can deliver. Be sincere, tell the truth nothing more and nothing less, if he thinks you’re just saying the things he wants to hear without actually meaning it, it won’t work. An apology should be heartfelt at the least.
8. Promise it won't happen again.
An apology does not hold any true value unless you’re repentant and are committed to taking the necessary steps for it not to happen again. For example‘’ I understand that no matter how many times I say I’m sorry, it won’t wash away all the pain I have caused. But please forgive me. I’ll make no excuses for what I did but I want you to know that it will never happen again. I pray we’re able to move past this incident to build a stronger relationship full of love and understanding’’.
9. Make No Excuses
Take full responsibility for your actions, don’t try to share the blame or justify your behavior. I did things I shouldn't have done, worst of all I hurt you, I'm deeply sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did, I'm sorry to have put us both through this. I've disappointed you and myself. Please forgive me, give me a chance to do something to ease the hurt you’re feeling. True love covers a multitude of sins they say, therefore I hope that our love is deep enough to envelop my flaws. I'm truly sorry, my love.
10. Tell Him How You Will Make Things Right
Unless you show that you plan on changing and making things right an apology is merely words. Identify the thing you did to make him mad and come up with a solution you intend to implement to change the situation. This does not only show him that you’re sorry but that you have given your behavior some thought. You can say for example “ I will work on communicating better in the future, I’ll do my best to talk things over with you and consider things from your standpoint...” This shows him that you’re determined for it not to repeat itself again and on top of your apology, you’re trying to find a solution to the problem.
11. Ask Him What Will Help
To stop your boyfriend from feeling like you’ll hurt him again if he forgives you, demonstrate that you intend to do things differently this time by asking him what you can do to make him feel better. This will make him feel heard, let him know his feelings matter and that they will be taken into account in the future. Say ‘’ Sorry is not enough, I know. I can be selfish and inconsiderate, and it’s not easy putting up with me. I want to change, to be a better partner for you. Tell me what to do to make amends and it’s done. I need your help to be the person you deserve and someone you’d be proud of.
12. Remind Him That You Care
It’s easy to doubt your relationship and your partner's feelings when you’re hurt, if you want to last you need to remind him of your commitment and that your feelings are still the same despite your recent bad behavior. Reassure him of your love, say what you love about him, about your relationship, remind him of the good times and how far you’ve come as a couple. Talk of your plans and make him see that you can still achieve your goals together.
For being jealous
13. Be sincere
Speak from the bottom of your heart ‘’ I can be clingy and annoying at times, I know, I bombard you with messages because I miss you so much and get mad at you for not responding. I’m sorry. There’s a part of me that wants to always be in contact with you every minute of the day, but I know that you also have your own thing going on. I promise to do better. I ask for your understanding and forgiveness, please forgive me, my love. I wish I could take back everything I said. I didn’t mean any of it. I just it out of spite. I want to be someone who will never hurt you on purpose. I’m so sorry for what I did. ''
14. Share your insecurities
At this point, there’s no need to hold on to your pride, open up, tell him ‘’I realize that my pride is worth nothing when compared to our relationship. I’m sorry I always get jealous thinking that there’s someone out there who can make you happier than I ever could. Those are my insecurities getting to me, I sometimes feel unworthy of your love and this scares me into lashing out. That’s when I do something to hurt you, I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.
15. Promise to do better
Let your boyfriend know how committed you are to changing and not making the same mistake again. Don’t make empty promises just to get what you want, be sincere and show remorse. Start making visible efforts to amends for the hurt you caused him.
There’s no perfect way to write an apology letter to your boyfriend, these are just examples to help inspire you to get your message across. Bear in mind that the most important component of an apology is a sincerity, be honest, swallow your pride and open up to your boyfriend. Apologize to him honestly and let him decide whether he’s willing to accept your apology or not. If he doesn’t, know you tried your best but it didn’t work and if he does, make sure you do your utmost best to avoid making the same mistakes again.
We hope these sorry letters can help you reconcile with your sweetheart, and turn a new leaf on your relationship.