What Happens When You Lose Your (Female) Virginity

Top 10 questions answered after you lost your virginity

By Hana O.
What Happens When You Lose Your (Female) Virginity

Losing one's virginity can be a big deal for many, regardless of your age, experience or knowledge on the subject matter. No one can really expect what happens the first time they have sex. It could be something you never imagined, totally exhilarating, an awkward and uncomfortable event, a lot of fun, somewhat boring or all of the above.


Add to that the fact that sex is highly subjective, meaning we all gauge it differently. There is no right or wrong way to have sex which also means no one but yourself has the right to control when and how you experience your first sex encounter.

Frequently Asked Questions About Virginity

The topic of virginity could be quite daunting, especially for those who don't have other people to explain it to them in a down-to-earth manner. Hopefully, this post could answer the burning questions you might have regarding the process of losing one's virginity.

1. Does it hurt?

This is perhaps the main question girls have when it comes to their first time. To answer this question, we need to take a look at it scientifically. Intercourse is nature's way for us (and many other living things) to reproduce. Hence, it should not be painful.


When we are sexually aroused, our bodies become properly lubricated for penetration. The pleasure is an added bonus to the whole ordeal. Sex only becomes painful is you are not wet enough. To avoid this, spend a lot of time on foreplay such as kissing, teasing, and exploring. Your body should respond accordingly.

2. Can you get pregnant when you lose your virginity?

The answer is yes. There's no exception to first-time sex and losing your virginity with any other sex. Whenever semen or pre-cum enters your vagina, pregnancy could occur. Using different types of birth control is highly advised if pregnancy is not part of the plan.

3. What is the hymen and what happens to it during sex?

There is much misconception regarding the hymen such as "it pops" when you're a virgin, thus the bleeding and pain. We might have been told when we were young that the hymen is like our lady defense which we must protect and save for our husbands. It's what makes us "a virgin".


However, everyone's hymen is different and has nothing to do with virginity. It is a thin, fleshy tissue located at the opening of the vagina and can be stretched open by various things like masturbation, tampons, riding a bike and so many other strenuous activities. The hymen is also where menstrual blood and different types of vaginal discharge pass through, which means it isn't completely shut off.


During sex, the hymen is stretched and can tear, which causes minimal bleeding. It could even stay intact during your first sexual encounter, which means the presence of the hymen does not equate to one's virginity.

4. Can you get an STI the first time you have sex?

Yes, again. A sexually transmitted infection (STI), like pregnancy, can happen or be acquired at the first try if your partner has had unprotected sex before. To prevent the chances of STIs, the use of contraception is advised.

5. How will it feel afterwards?

Depending on how your first encounter went, the post-sex situation could either be awkward and weird, or it could make you and your partner closer and more intimate. Perhaps this is why it is often advised to ensure that the relationship has enough foundation before venturing out to sex, especially if it's your first time – to try and avoid the negative aftereffects.

6. What if you aren't ready?

If you aren't ready, for any reason whatsoever, don't be afraid to put a full stop on everything. You never owe anyone sex, and you have full control to back out at any moment whether you have doubts or become unsure of what's about to happen. The go-signal to lose your virginity is not governed by anyone but you.

7. What happens after you lose your virginity?

Below are some examples of what happens to our bodies after we have sex for the first time.

Your vagina changes

After your first sexual encounter, your vagina adapts to the change and becomes more acquainted with penetration. In time, it will learn how to lubricate itself adequately. Even the clitoris and uterus become sensitive to arousal after being activated by sex. They will swell and rise when stimulated and return to normal after intercourse.

Your body changes too

Your breasts become firmer because of their tissues and blood vessels swelling up and dilating. Although this goes back to normal post sex, the blood circulation around the nipples increases and makes them more sensitive and attuned to arousal in general.

You experience happy hormones

Sex produces serotonin, or the happy and feel-good hormone. It's a natural mood booster that makes you feel satisfied and content. Furthermore, when one reaches orgasm, another hormone called oxytocin is released, which makes you feel relaxed.

Your period might get delayed

Because your body is going through changes and new types of hormones are released, your menstruation cycles could get delayed. Nothing to worry, though, it isn't an automatic sign of pregnancy.

Mood swings occur

The secretion of hormones could lead to an imbalance which could make you go through mood swings of being happy and sad, especially for those who consider their virginity to be a sacred thing and didn't plan on losing it at that moment. The hormonal changes clashing with your conscience could result in emotional outbursts.

8. Why didn't I enjoy the first time?

We cannot hold Hollywood movies as the standard of what sex is like, ever. There is usually no fireworks or foot-popping instances during the first try. It might be more like, "That's it?" Sex is a different experience every time and one does get better at it through practice. You and your partner get to explore and discover each other's bodies and will eventually lead to that mind-boggling sex experience.

9. Will people know you lost your virginity?

No. Contrary to popular belief and the stories of how parents took one look at their child and could tell that they lost their virginity precisely two days ago, there is no way another person could tell if someone is no longer a virgin. The body goes back to its normal state after sex and it only takes a few minutes to do so; hence, parents who concluded that their daughter was no longer a virgin probably had more proof and underlying observations aside from how her body looked.

10. Is one's virginity really a gift?

This question depends on how you perceive virginity. It may sound impossible and completely contradicting to what we've been taught, but you could lose your virginity, again and again, so to speak. The reason is that your first time could have been totally disappointing and unwanted, even. If it wasn't what you expected, then you learned what it is you want, and could have your first real encounter with your special someone and get what was missing the previous time.


If science confirms that there is no "real" way to gauge one's virginity since technically our hymen breaks by other random activities and not just sex, then we get to define what it means for us – whether a gift or something that you can take back.

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You might have just recently lost your virginity and feel absolutely liberated and amazing or scared because it didn't meet your expectations. For those feeling exhilarated, congratulations! For those with the jitterbug, there's nothing to fret about; sex is like a journey and an adventure – and an exciting one at that. It may have felt like, "blah" but that's just one step down the road, with many more for you to experience.