Be Unpredictable: How To Be Mysterious With Personality

You know the one. The attractive and mysterious girl who walks into the room and all the single guys turn around to stare. They watch her every move. Even the happily taken guys take notice. It seems like she doesn’t have to do anything and guys flock to her. She’s never sitting alone at home on a Saturday night reading a romance novel and wallowing in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. By the way, what’s your favorite flavor? Chocolate Fudge Brownie? Chubby Hubby? Chunky Money? I’m kind of partial to the Everything But The … and Half Baked myself. Oops, got side tracked!

If you ask the guys what they find attractive about her, yes, they like the way she's dressed, but there's more. They say it is her mysterious personality. Her unpredictability. Does that mean she plays hard to get? A little, but not too hard to get. If she were impossible to get, the guys would leave her alone. Guys like a chase, but they don’t want to get smacked upside the head with, “Not interested,” 10 times in a night. Even the most arrogant guy will get turned off by repeatedly being turned down. No one wants to hear, “You’re a loser,” every time she says, “No.”

What are you doing wrong? Do you leave anything to the imagination? Do you spill your guts out the first time you meet a guy? Do you follow him around the club no matter how many times he moves to get away from you? Do you text him repeatedly when he doesn’t respond? Did you steal his phone number from one of his friends, because he wouldn’t give it to you? You're not mysterious. If you’re doing any of these things, he is at a minimum, not interested, and at maximum, is considering getting a restraining order. He’d have one already, but he doesn’t want his friends to realize he’s a bit scared of you.

You see a guy standing at the bar. He has eyes that you can drown in. What’s the first thing you do? Go up to him and say. “You have the most amazing blue eyes.” Like a hundred girls haven’t told him that already. What do you do next? Grab his biceps and bat your eyes. “What big guns you have.” How original. Hey, I’m not going to say this strategy won’t work. If he’s a player, he’ll likely take you up on what your offering. But, will you hear from him again? No. You’ve not provided him anything to be intrigued by. No mysteriousness. Men don’t like to be fawned over. Men are programmed to chase, to seek the prize, and to win the prize. If you’re laying it all at their feet, they won’t lift a finger to take you up on it. Why? It’s boring. They’ve had girls following them around since they were in grade school. They want excitement. Have you ever seen the movie, Jurassic Park? Where were they feeding the dinosaur a chained-up goat? Was the dinosaur interested in the goat? No. He wanted his prize to move. A guy wants mysteriousness, unpredictability, and to pursue. What can you do to change up your strategy to get the guy? Be mysterious. Be unpredictable.

1. Boring: When you first meet a guy, don’t be boring. Be attractive by being mysterious. Don’t talk endlessly about a sweater that you wanted to buy that you saw one of the Kardashian sisters wearing on their TV show, on an episode [insert episode here]. When they were sitting on the sofa in their living room, but you couldn’t find it in your size even though you went to 4 stores. He’s going to want to stab himself in the eye to get away. An ER visit would be better than this conversation. 2. Getting Ready: Keep how long it takes for you to get dressed mysterious. If it takes you 2 hours to get ready to go out for the night, don’t tell him. Let him think your look is effortless. He doesn’t need to know what all you wax, straighten, or pluck. 3. Confidence: Be confident in yourself. Confidence is attractive and mysterious. Dress confidently. Men want to be with women who know and value their own worth. But not so far that you become arrogant or mean. Don’t be the mean girl. 4. Hard to Get: It is good to be hard to get. Hard to get is mysterious. Someone that a guy must work for. Again, he’s not going to be interested in a doormat that falls at his feet. On the other hand, you can be unattainable. Why would he want to chase something that he will never get? Ask the coyote. He never did get that roadrunner. 5. Have a Good Time: When you are around someone that you’re attracted to, let him see you having a good time. Don’t pout in the corner because he’s talking to another girl. Get out there and mingle with friends and enjoy yourself. Guys like a girl that appears happy and likes to laugh and enjoy herself. I said, “good time,” not passed out drunk.

6. Not too Strong: Don’t come on too strong. Fawning over him is not mysterious or unpredictable. It will come off as desperate. Guys don’t like weak or desperate women. They do too much work to keep happy, and there is no excitement. 7. Don’t be Sitting at Home Waiting: Sitting at home is not mysterious. Do you spend all your evenings glued to the TV watching episodes of Orange is the New Black? Get out of the house. Go out with your girlfriends. Don’t sit at home waiting for him to call you. If you are dating the guy, don’t stay home if he has plans with someone else. Let him know that you can have a good time without him. That you aren’t pining over him or pouting because he’s not decided to be exclusive. Be your own person. 8. Keep Some Secrets: When you are first getting to know a guy, don’t tell him everything about yourself. Don’t’ start throwing out all your baggage to have full disclosure. It is too much and leaves him feeling as if there is nothing left to get to know about you. Why talk to you a second time, if he already knows about your addiction to shoes, a giant collection of teddy bears that decorate your bedroom, and the hair color of your 2nd-grade teacher. When he asks you a question, answer with as little details as possible. Keep him talking and let there be a mystery around your life. 9. Don’t Give It Away: In other words, if he gets the milk for free, he’s not going to buy the cow. Being mysterious and unpredictable means that you don’t put out on the first date or before the first date for that matter. Thinking that you can get a guy through sex is not going to work. You’ll get him for the night, but no longer. It might seem counterintuitive as men are known to think about and want sex-a lot. However, they enjoy the anticipation of the chase more than you’re considering. They want to believe that they won the prize, not that the prize was given to them. When it’s given, they play with it for a second and then throw it down. Watch a young boy with a toy that he just had to have. After getting it, he’s on to the next thing and the once coveted toy is tossed in his closet. 10. Avoid Physical Contact: When talking to a guy remain unpredictable and mysterious, by standing close, but far enough away that you aren’t touching. Don’t touch. Be hard to get. Hard to get is mysterious. Make him take the first step. Even when dating a few times, don’t be all over him. He’s going to feel smothered and need air.

11. Don’t Call All the Time: If he gives you his number, don’t call him before he leaves the club. He already regrets giving it to you. It makes you appear clingy, lacking in confidence, and desperate…again. If you're dating a guy, do you keep calling if he doesn’t answer the first time? Are you panicked? Are you worried he’s tired of you? Afraid he’s with another girl? If he’s not, by the time you call the 5th time in 2 minutes, when he’s trying to go to the bathroom, he will be. Nothing mysterious about continuously calling. Do something else. Wait for him to call. “What if he doesn’t?” You call a bunch of times will not change the outcome. 12. Be Independent: Men find women who value themselves attractive. It’s mysterious. Have your own interests. If he likes motorcycles and you like horses, don’t sell your horse to buy a motorcycle. He’s not going to be impressed. As a matter of fact, it makes you appear weak and lacking in conviction. You can be open to learning something new that he likes, but don’t give up your passions for him. You will be left with nothing when he moves on. 13. Have Fun: Enjoy yourself. Have fun. Having fun is mysterious. Let him see what he’s missing out on by not being with you. Have a good sense of humor. Don’t be miserable, hiding in the corner. The wallflowers only get noticed in John Hughes films. It is not going to work for you. 14. Be Accomplished: A great way to be mysterious is to find your passions. What fulfills and motivates you? Learn and excel in that area. Be someone who a guy will look up to and be impressed with. Dating is like a job interview. Have an impressive resume. Put in for awards or other means of accomplishment to prove your worth. 15. Be Adventurous: Don’t spend all your time going to the same places. Branch out. Explore different areas of your community. Go to different community events. Save money and go on an all-girls trip to a fascinating place. Learn about other cultures and traditions. Guys will want to know what makes an adventurous girl tick. It’s mysterious. 16. Be Spontaneous: If you are casually dating a guy, come up with unique activities to do to be unpredictable and mysterious. Research fascinating places in your area to visit. Suggest a scavenger hunt with a group of all your friends and invite him to attend, if you aren’t dating. Plan a theme night and invite him. Don’t single him out, invite a bunch of other people as well. Go rappelling. Take anything ordinary and put a spin on it to make it mysterious. 17. Don’t be a Mean Girl. Being cruel and arrogant is unattractive, not mysterious. Making fun of people or hurting others should not make you feel better about yourself. If the guy you’re attracted to is into the mean girls, find another guy.

18. Don’t Go Too Far: Whether in sharing about yourself or in being physical, leave something on the table. Being vague and respecting your physical worth is mysterious and unique. The less you share, the more he’s going to want to know. Always leave him wanting more. More information. More connection. More physical contact. 19. Don’t Be a Weirdo: Being mysterious and unpredictable is one thing, being too eccentric can be disturbing. Yes, being a hoarder or having 30 cats is unpredictable, but not in a good way. Don’t go to the extreme to get his attention. 20. Enjoy the Single Life: In men’s minds, women all want to be married and have children. Be mysterious and unpredictable by enjoying being single. Don’t need to have a man in your life to be content. Find out what makes you feel anxious when not in a relationship and work on that part of yourself. 21. Be a Challenge: Again, men enjoy a good challenge. They like competition, sports, and winning a trophy. If you take away that challenge, there will be nothing worth winning in the end. Be the trophy that he wants to earn. 22. Make It a Game: To continue with #21, consider attracting and getting the guy a game. Not for you, but for him. How can you make it a game? Give a little and then pull back. Be mysteriously unpredictable. Be available one time and unavailable the next. Tell him a little about you then pull back and be vague. Seek him out one time when you’re at the same event. The next time you see him, have fun without him. He’ll be intrigued with your unpredictability and mysteriousness. 23. Be the Prize: Be worth him winning. Be confident and independent. Make him feel lucky to be the guy to get you. His friends will envy him for getting the girl.

24. Make It His Idea: Yes, you want to date him, but don’t tell him that. Let him be the one that comes up with wanting to date you. Remember, it’s all about the game and the reward at the end of a long match. 25. Don’t Follow Him Around: Do you show up everywhere he goes? If he moves across the room, are you behind him? If he heads to the bathroom, do you stand outside the door? He’s not six years old, don’t follow him around making she he’s not doing something you don’t approve of. It reeks of insecurity and is not mysterious. 26. Don’t Blab All the Time: Don’t fill the silence with useless chatter. Sharing everything you know about compound interest because he said he was thinking about getting a credit card will bore him to tears. He also doesn’t want to know about your cramps, bloating, or food intolerance on the first date. Leave something to the imagination. If he asks a question about your family, answer with the specifics only, “I’m an only child.” Make him pull for more. Be as vague as possible to keep the mystery alive. 27. Learn Something Mysterious: Study something that is fascinating to others. A card trick. A magic trick. Read palms. Tarot cards. Slight of hand. Knowing something that other people don’t know how to will leave him to want to know your secrets. How you do it for starters. How you learned it. Why you learned it. 28. Keep Him Talking: Ask him questions. Keep digging for more without being weird about it. You don’t’ want him turned off due to too many intrusive questions. However, the more you learn about him, the less he knows about you; which is mysterious. He’ll still want to learn more about you another time. 29. Be Descriptive: When you discuss places you’ve been, describe the people, places or things. How people looked. How objects were made. Be visual with your descriptions. This strategy makes it appear that you are giving lots of information, but at the end, you still didn’t divulge much about yourself. However, don’t make the description too long and drawn out. Spend time describing what the culture was like. What the food tasted like. Describe the sights, sounds, tastes, etc. Men are visual, so paint them a picture.

30. Be Knowledgeable: Read and learn. Study all types of things. Be interesting. Interesting is mysterious and attractive. Know random facts about things. 31. Speak Clearly: When talking don’t appear anxious or uncertain of yourself. Talk slower than usual and be articulate. Talking fast, breathing hard, having lots of starts and stops, or using unnecessary filler words can make you appear insecure or unsure of yourself. 32. Be Involved: Get out of the house. Go places. Do things. Have a busy schedule. Being busy will make you more mysterious and improve your self-esteem and confidence. The higher your confidence, the more appealing you will be. 33. Be Aware of Your Worth: Know that you are a valuable person. Don’t let other people’s opinions ruin your self-esteem. Be secure in yourself. Dress as if you know your worth. Being secure is mysterious and attractive. If he’s not interested, don’t beg. You aren’t going to get him. Don’t be easy. You won’t keep him. 34. Be Classy: Trust yourself. Dress appropriately. Don’t get drunk and not know what you’re doing. That is not mysterious. 35. Be Creative: Be involved in the arts. Go museums, community theatres, amateur sporting events. Take art classes. Learn sculpting. Be open to new adventures. Being adventurous is mysterious. Be around the type of people you want to meet. Be involved and available to the people you are interested in getting to know will open opportunities to meet the kind of guy you’re interested in.

Hopefully, these strategies will help get you off the sofa, dressed for a night on the town, and away from that spoonful of ice cream. Appreciate and value yourself. Be mysterious. Have confidence. Be independent. You’ll have him intrigued and begging for more.