7 Fantasy Sex That Almost Everyone Secretly Desires

You are not the only one thinking about these "absurd" fantasies

By Sophia R
7 Fantasy Sex That Almost Everyone Secretly Desires

What Is A Sexual Fantasy?

We all have sexual fantasies, and whoever says they do not, lies. There are as many types as there are people in the world, but there are several fantasies that are common within people from all around the world. 

Before going into the matter, however, let's clarify what exactly is a sexual fantasy. It is a risque story that a person imagines, and in which they generally have a leading role. Experts believe that each fantasy is based on the experiences that the person had in their growth. They can be short or long stories. They can be held in the strictest privacy (when one masturbates or is alone) or in public (for example, seeing a person on the street and imagining something risque with them).

Action in sexual reveries can involve different themes, for example, danger or aggressiveness. Some women fantasize about being raped, allowing them to have sex without responsibility and therefore without guilt.

Similarly, men can imagine having sex with very dominant and aggressive women, which puts them in a passive position, like when they were children. Other related variations are manifested in the ideas of being tied or tying another person. Some also involve inflicting violence. And so, long etcetera. As we see, there is something for everyone.

Whether they are used to stoke passion in a relationship, to feel sexy, to give a little 'company' to lonely nights, to maintain sensuality when your partner is away, to provoke new encounters ... Sexual fantasies are for everything you can imagine because they are a mental game that allows you to fulfill your desires in an erotic environment in which there is no place for fear or modesty. Now that we have already reviewed the complex world of fantasies, let's see which are the most common.

7 Most Common Sexual Fantasies

Sexual fantasies arouse so much interest because they are so secret. It is very difficult (almost impossible) to talk about it with your partner, friends or colleagues. Perhaps you can touch the subject slightly but never get deep on it with anyone. These dreams are part of the strictest intimacy, and on many occasions, we might feel ashamed or not proud of experiencing certain thoughts. In order to leave this stigma behind, we are going to show you that you are not a freak for having them because more people than you could ever think to also think the same things as you sexually. For this, we will be relying on a survey made by The Independent. Here are the 7 most common sexual fantasies:

1. Have a threesome

Having a threesome is the most common fantasy. The survey proved that this is a sexual fantasy for 89% of the interviewed. The ones that had a partner assured that they wanted their partner to be present in this threesome.  The study also found that heterosexual men were more likely to fantasize about having a threesome with two women, while heterosexual women did not show a gender preference, reinforcing the theory that most of them are actually bisexual. 

2. Masochism

In the second place,  65% of the participants repeatedly fantasized about others inflicting pain on them, whether in the form of spanking, biting, tying... Most fantasized about at least one BDSM act (a set of acronyms consisting of Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism), especially women, who had "slightly more frequent desires" to relinquish control on someone else in the bedroom.

3. Different locations with their partners

Yes, friends. There are people who fantasize about their partner, alone. That is love and the rest is nonsense. This was the third option chosen by the respondents, who were excited about imagining having sex with their loved ones but changing up the routine: whether it is by doing it in remote and different locations, in a car, park, or somewhere they have never been tp before, making it different and new. People love to think about newness. 

4. Sex with someone else

In the fourth place, we have a more common and less exotic fantasy for the ones that are in a relationship. Psychologists in this survey discovered that people who were in a romantic relationship fantasized about having ordinary, normal sex with someone other than their partner. This is not considered as cheating or having the desire to cheat, but just as a desire for someone different. It does not mean they do not love their boyfriend or girlfriend, or something like that. 

5. Public sex

The fifth-place goes to the same old good public sex. We don't know why, but there is something incredibly attractive in public sex that makes people extremely interested in trying it. People just love that fear and excitement that the possibility of getting caught or be seen produces. The poll also showed that sex in public places was highly chosen by women. Some of the most mentioned locations were the office, the park and the elevator. It is just a very much craved rush of adrenaline that will make sex even better!

6. Passionate sex

Most men and women revealed that they yearn for a "meaningful", passionate, fulfilling sex that makes them feel wanted, appreciated and loved. This makes it number six in our most common sexual fantasies list. Well fellas, as many people might mistakenly think, sex is not just about having pleasure and getting off.  Feelings and what it can actually mean also play a vital role in how memorable and enjoyable the experience might be. As some people say, there is no bigger turn-on than love, which is exactly what this fantasy proves. Lots of us want to be loved and have it shown physically to us. 

7. Homosexual sex

As seventh and last place in our list, we have homosexual sex. Although many of the participants identified as heterosexual, a large number confessed that they had same-sex fantasies: 59% of heterosexual women confessed that they had fantasies about having sex with other women, while 26% of men said the same thing but with men. This fantasy is more common for females because it does not have as many cultural impediments as it happens in the case of men. According to sexologists, it has to do with experiencing what they do to their male partners, with the possibility of planning a meeting that is likely to happen at some point with the consent of their partner or trying something that many would not be willing to admit that they want to experiment.

One in four men said they were aroused by imagining having sex with a transvestite, while one in three said they had fantasized about having sex with a transsexual. Guess we are not are straight as we think we are, aren't we? 

Female Vs Male Fantasies

The differences between the two sexes are vast, but when it comes to fantasizing, they surprisingly don't change much. There are just some psychological facts that make each sex want slightly different things.  Here are some of the main reasons:

Female Fantasies

  • They are done in a more elaborate way and tend to focus on emotions and sensations
  • They tend to have more during the ovulation period due to an increase in testosterone levels
  •  A common fantasy among women is being sexually dominated without reaching masochism. For example, spanking, pulling hair, bites, among others.

Male Fantasies

  • They tend to be more direct and concrete with a clear focus on the visual
  • The most common for them are: having oral sex, having a threesome with two women and swingers
  • Males have a stronger desire to make them come true

Related Article: Sex Taboo Fantasy Vs What You Truly Desire In Sex
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Difference between taboo fantasy and desire in reality


Again, creating a fantasy does not necessarily mean that you want to carry it out. You can make your own stories in your mind in all kinds of detail and that will help enrich your sex life and improve your libido. By fantasizing, we feel safe, because there are no consequences that such action can have in reality.

If you have a partner, share with them what you long for, it is the basis of good sexual communication and can open doors for new sensations. Talking about your fantasies will help you understand and improve. Do not judge each other, and keep in mind that the fantasies of one do not have to like both of you. What our fantasies mean is of relative importance, there will be no bad sexual fantasy as long as it works for you. If a fantasy works with you and is capable of activating you, don't hesitate to use it! Use fantasies for pleasure in a safe environment that you can control. 

And finally, do you already know which is the most powerful sexual organ of all? Yes, just the one you were thinking: the brain. So don't be shy about using it for pleasure. Allowing you to fantasize is the first step to enjoy them, and once achieved it will be you who decides whether to put them into practice or not ... Get to it!


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