Everyone deals with crushes in their own way. We can all agree that it is a part of life and it is natural. So it is very much okay if you find this experience overwhelming. Most of the time we think about our crushes 24/7 and we can’t get over their perfect hair or a pretty smile. But alas, there comes a time when we have to deal with heartbreak. Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that our special someone does not like us back. It is very hard to move on, but we must do it or we will be stuck thinking about the past forever.
How long does a crush last?
In reality, according to psychologists, a typical crush usually lasts for a maximum of four months. Infatuation and love are two very different things. The former is nothing but acts of idealization and projection. Love on the other hand is different. Thus, what you're feeling with a crush isn’t love, but lust. Don’t think that these feelings will last for much longer. Soon you’ll get bored and move on to the next thing. However, having a crush is not the same for everyone. A crush can last for a week, a month or even a year! So, it is different for every person.
3 Reasons why you can’t Stop Thinking about him
1. You are distracting yourself from other parts of life by focusing on him
If you just met someone you're interested in, you might jump straight to it because you're at a difficult place in your life. You're struggling at work or you're having trouble at home. You're desperate for a distraction and he is the perfect one. Your mind tells you again and again that it is not normal to think about one person all the time but it is becoming impossible for you to stop. Take a step back and look at everything that is going wrong with your life and all the stress you have. Chances are that you're using yours as an escape.
2. You're lonely
A new guy can be on your mind if you're feeling lost and lonely. You just got out of a long term relationship and you miss having someone to hold and talk your heart out to. And on the other hand, if you haven’t been in a relationship for some time you just miss being with another person. That is also another reason as to why your crush has been on your mind so much. You're lonely and longing for human contact. Chances are that you don’t even want to be with that specific guy, you just want to be with someone. It is very much normal to feel lonely after a breakup, and that maybe the reason you're thinking so much about your new crush.
3. You’ve met a guy that is an enigma
Some women love men who are mysterious and difficult to understand. This may be the case with you too. Your new special someone is an enigma or your brain just wants some form of entertainment and is viewing them as the mysterious hot guy in a movie. Nonetheless, now you can’t stop thinking about what he meant by something he said or if he likes you or not. Unless you find something else to focus on, this will only get worse from here and you will be stuck thinking about him 24/7.
8 Tried and Tested Ways to Move Forward
1. Avoid them online
The best and easiest way to get over a crush is to just remove them from all your social media accounts. This will not only help you take your mind off of them but will also help you move on with your normal routine and life. Avoid looking at your crushes’ online profiles and stop yourself whenever you think about messaging them. The main goal here is to forget about them. So no pictures, no messages or videos. Instant messaging apps are your biggest and worst enemy when you want to forget about someone. Delete all memories of them from your computer and your mind.
2. Remove them from your real life
Removing your crush from social media is one thing, but what if they’re a part of your everyday life. What if you guys study in the same school or even have the same lecture. What if you both have similar friendship circles? Removing them from your real life is easier said than done. You want to limit, if not completely remove any public interaction you and your crush may have. The main point is ignoring them and not interacting with them in any way. This means not going to places where they’re often found and not initiating casual conversation with them.
3. Give yourself time to heal
Even if the two of you did not date, it hurts when someone does not have the same feelings you do for them. So just give yourself time to heal and remember that it is a process, not a race. It is okay if it takes you longer than others. But you also need to accept the bitter and the brutal truth that it is over; there is nothing you can do about it except move on. You need to be kind to yourself and practice some self-care. You just got your heartbroken because of this crush. It is very much normal and okay to be sad about it.
4. Feel the pain too
While you want to act like you're a badass who is not affected by anything or anyone, bottling your emotions up just so they burst out someday isn’t healthy. Confide in a friend you trust or just write about it in your journal. Do anything that makes you feel light and happy. Remind yourself that it is okay to feel pain and to cry. You are a normal human being. Once you’ve cried your heart out, getting over your crush will become a little easier.
5. Stay busy
By staying busy, I don’t mean overworking and exhausting yourself to the point that you can’t even move. It just means that try a new activity you're interested in. There is a ton of stuff you could do easily at home. Keeping yourself busy will help you move on much faster. Learn a new language you’ve always wanted to, paint or draw something. Occupy yourself so that you aren’t thinking about him all day and crying about it. Sooner or later, you’ll need to return to your normal life. So start by doing new things every day. Even if they’re small they’ll help you more than you think in the long run.
6. Reach out to your friends or family
Reach out to your best friend or your mom. Always remember that you are never alone and people care about you and love you. So don’t be scared of judgment when reaching out to a trustworthy=y friend. Talking helps, more than you realize and once you spill your heart out to your friend, you will feel much better and ready to get over your crush.
7. Write down what you're thinking and feeling
Writing down your thoughts in your journal or just venting will make you feel so much better. Even if it does not make sense, just grab a pen and a paper and start writing. This will give you clarity and you’ll understand why you're feeling a certain way. Writing has a certain way of slowing down the thoughts moving a mile a minute in your head. Journaling will help you get over your crush faster.
8. Learn your lesson
Heartbreak teaches you a lot of lessons. For one, moving on will make you not repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Don’t shut yourself off from the rest of the world. Remind yourself that it wasn’t your loss and it was just a lesson that you learned from life’s many lessons. When you're finally over that special someone, you now know what you want in a person.
All of us are normal human beings with normal emotions. Remind yourself that heartbreak is a part of life and it teaches you many lessons. People will come and go. Keep the doors open to love and be gentle with yourself. Love every part of yourself and remember that you will fall for another person and you will find the perfect match for who will love you back. Stay hopeful and love will find you. With this mindset getting over a crush will be much easier and faster.