It is Complicated With The Exs
You broke up, moved on, and got into a new relationship; it means that things didn’t work out as planned between you and your ex. Whether the breakup was your call or your ex dumped you; the relationship is over and there is nothing left in it for you. Sometimes things are not as simple as they seem. The person you shared your life with, no matter how short-lived it was, moving on can be a little difficult. Even if you have moved on, forgetting your ex-partner can take a while.
In short, it is a little complicated with the ex. The person you once loved, shared your secrets and dreams with, made future plans, or exchanged vows with cannot be cut off as easily as you think. Gone are the days when you would break up and would hardly ever see your ex in your life (never in case you have moved to a different place, city, or country). This era of social media has made it almost impossible to forget your ex. Just when you think you have forgotten your ex, you come across a picture of him with a new partner and the memories start coming back. It becomes a struggle to move on with your life without looking into the back view mirror.
If you are struggling between whether to remain friends with your ex or block them for good, this article is for you. Read on to know the pros and cons of staying in touch with your ex.
The Pros and Cons of Being Friends with Your Exs
Can two people who were once in love become friends? The question is complex and so is its answer. Whether it is some kind of obsession or your ex is too irresistible, staying friends with your ex can have pros and cons. Listed below are a few pros and cons of being friends with your exes.
Pros of being friends with your exes
What good can come out of a broken relationship? Well, here are some pros of being friends with your ex.
1. You always have an option in hand
You never know if the new relationship will work out or not, so keeping in touch with the ex will give you an option to revert back anytime. Instead of looking for a new partner, you can always get back with your ex until you find someone else.
2. You will never be lonely
Sometimes, in a relationship, you figure out that romance isn’t working out between the two of you but you can be good friends. You break up and move out but lose a good friend somewhere in between. In the new relationship, if you need to talk to a friend, you can always get in touch with your ex who proved to be a very sincere friend in times of need. By talking to the ex (a good friend) you will never feel lonely.
3. You can go anywhere anytime
Instead of avoiding places where you might come in contact with your ex if you are in touch, you can attend parties and events without worrying about unpleasant encounters with the ex. You can visit mutual friends and go on outings together if you are in good terms with your ex.
4. Your kids will be happy
In case you have kids with your ex, being friends with an ex will be good for your children. Children who grow up in broken homes mostly have psychological issues. For the wellbeing of children, it is good if you are friends with their other parent. You can go out together as a family with your children none of you will be awkward.
Cons of being friends with your exs
Like any other relationship, staying friends with your ex can have negative repercussions. Listed below are a few of the many cons of being friends with your ex.
1. You will not be able to move on
One cannot drive ahead if they keep looking in the back view mirror. To drive ahead you have to look ahead. Keeping in touch with the ex means you still have feelings for them and this can be a big problem in your new relationship. You two were not meant to be together, that’s why you parted ways and it should remain that way for good.
2. Things can get awkward
If one of you wants to remain friends and the other is seeing an opportunity to get back together, things can get awkward and confusing for both of you.
3. Your new relationship can suffer
Most partners don’t understand that a platonic relationship can exist between ex-partners. No matter how much you try to make your new partner understand that there is nothing more than friendship between you and your ex, things can go ugly. Keeping alive an old relationship at the cost of new isn’t a wise choice.
4. Things can get more than just friendly
It is very much possible to get physically attracted to the ex. After all, you loved each other and spent some part of life together, love can evoke. If you are not in another relationship then you may consider giving this fling a go but if you are in a relationship, your new relationship can suffer.
The Pros and Cons to Block Your Exs
What happened in the past should stay in the past. Keeping in touch with ex is a recipe for disaster. You can cut the ties off but how to make them go invisible? Here are some pros and cons of blocking your ex.
Pros of blocking the ex
Where on one hand it is difficult to make someone disappear because of social media, blocking someone from your life has become possible. Unfriend/block your ex and social media and it will feel like they have gone forever. But is blocking someone possible in real life and what good will it do? Here are the answers
1. Look for new horizons
Only by blocking your ex can you start looking for a new someone. You need to close the previous chapter to start a new one. Blocking your ex will help you in moving on with life.
2. Have a fresh start
Blocking an ex gives you a chance to start afresh. Start a new life with zeal and zest. Close the door on your ex, sit back and relax and make plans for the future.
3. You can switch off the mental trauma
Not every relationship ends at a good note. Most relationships end in emotional turmoil. By blocking the ex you can put an end to the mental torture and live in peace.
4. Save yourself from trolling
Blocking your ex on social media and real-life will save you from unnecessary trolling and stalking. It is a great way to keep your past away from your present.
Cons of blocking your ex
Blocking the ex or keeping in touch is a matter of choice. It also depends on the kind of relationship you had with your ex. If you parted ways in a friendly way, staying friends will not be any damaging. In case you don’t have good memories of your previous relationship, blocking your ex is absolutely necessary for your own wellbeing. Sometimes blocking the ex can have certain cons. Well, read on
1. You cannot stalk them
If you are kind of person who likes to keep a check on people around, blocking ex isn’t your thing. You will only get more frustrated and it will do you no good. To know what’s happening in your ex’s life, you need to stay in the loop and that’s only possible by keeping your ex unblocked.
2. You will not know what they are going through
By blocking your ex, you will never know how happy or miserable your ex is. People share most of their lives in the form of photos and videos on social media and anyone can see what someone is going through in life. If seeing your ex unhappy can help you move on, blocking them will not let you do so.
3. You will not get an emotional closure
If you have gotten out of a relationship and still think that you could have saved the relationship, it only means that you are blaming yourself. To get an emotional closure, you need to see that your ex wasn’t worth it and you broke up for the right reasons.
Which Option Should I Choose?
To stay friends or not, to block ex or not, it all depends on you and the kind of relationship you had with your ex. If you think you ended your relationship on good terms and you can remain friends even after the breakup; good for you. On the other hand, if the relationship was toxic and you got out for your physical and emotional wellbeing, you can opt for never getting in touch with your ex again.
There can be several pros and cons of staying friends with an ex or blocking them. They can vary from person to person and come down to personal preferences. There is no fixed answer to this question. In any scenario, you come first and you should always consider your wellbeing your first priority.