Summer Fling: Can You Handle a Short Romance?

How to have a casual relationship and are you suitable?

By Kazuko Otsuka
Summer Fling: Can You Handle a Short Romance?

What is a Summer Fling?

The blazing sun shines through your bedroom window. The heat brings with it wakes you up in your sleep. You lie in bed thinking about your plans for the next following weeks. It’s summer and you want to have fun and put all your worries aside but don’t know how to do it. Your itinerary is still MIA. How about heading to the beach and camping out? Or maybe grabbing a few beers at your local bar? How about a summer fling?

If you’re looking to spice up your boring summer with some romance, then maybe a summer fling is what you need. Simply put, a summer fling is a short-term or simple relationship that happens over the summer. It is usually free of hassle and drama. The "no-strings-attached" basis of this fling lets you hang out and hook up with someone for a few months without the extra baggage that comes with a committed relationship. Generally, summer flings are a blast if ventured into correctly.

These quick romances are full of excitement and thrill thus it attracts many applicants each summer. Past Labor Day, though, majority or maybe even all of these filings do not last. That’s why they’re called flings, right? The idea of meeting new people and having casual sex without the problems that come with commitment is what drives people to have these flings.

We’ve seen enough movies about summer flings and how they end. Keep in mind that your fling with that hot guy or girl down the road will probably end the same way. If a serious and committed relationship is what you’re after, better skip having a fling with someone. Don’t have high hopes that your summer fling will turn into a committed relationship. It has worked for some, but that’s just once in a blue moon.

How Long is a Summer Fling?

As fast as summer flings happen, they vanish equally at the same speed. There is no definite number of days on how long these summer romances can last. Your fling can be a couple of days long or a couple of weeks, if you’re lucky, it could even be for a couple of months. And if the gods are on your side, that fling could even turn into a serious relationship.

There are summer flings that last as short as a couple of days. Usually, this is because your personalities just did not match or they were turned off by something that you did. There’s no use worrying and dwelling on it if this is the case. It’s a fling; don’t keep your hopes up.

However, there are flings that last longer than a couple of weeks. The length of the fling depends on the people involved. There are people who want to keep that summer fling past summer because of the convenience of a “no-strings-attached” relationship. The idea of having someone you can rely on, even without the label, is great for some people. So, if they enjoyed the few months of being with you, they might even extend the fling. The 30- day trial period turns into a monthly subscription.

Lastly, if you’re lucky, that summer fling might even turn into a serious relationship. If you both just clicked so well and you want to get to know each other more, then things are looking good. As long as you are both on the same picture and you are aware that you started out as casual dating but want to be more serious, then you have nothing to worry about. The usual cause for misunderstandings when it comes to this type of relationship is not being on the same page. One thinks you are serious, while the other is afraid of committing. Talk it out and see where you stand.

What is the Difference Between a Hookup and a Fling?

Are hookups and summer flings the same thing? Let’s take a look. A hookup or hooking up with someone usually revolves around sexual engagement with another person. You can call it a booty call or a sexual invitation or rendezvous. A fling, on the other hand, can be described as a “no-strings-attached” relationship. You go through the actions of dating with no emotional attachment; it is casual dating. These two, at first glance, appear to be on the same boat. However, upon looking at them at a closer look, they’re actually quite different from each other.

It’s all about the labels. Is that person you’re meeting once a week your fling or someone you’re hooking up with. Technically, you can be hooking up with your fling. However, there is a bit more effort, just a tiny bit, in having a fling with someone. You go on dates, you get to know each other, you exchange messages. Hookups, on the other hand, are purely sexual.

It’s a complex thing to properly define. But if you want to find out where you currently stand with the person you’re meeting, an easy way to find out is to ask these questions. Ask yourself if they only message you when they want to have sex and are horny. If yes, then you are in the hookup zone. If they take time to message you and get to know you, but you ultimately feel that the relationship will not become anything serious, then you’re probably falling prey to casual dating. It doesn’t take rocket science once you’re asking the right questions. Good luck. Whichever boat you find yourself on, know that you’re not stuck there forever.

Is it OK to Have a Fling?

After some crazy nights of fun with your new fling, you start to question if you’re doing the right thing. The drunken nights, skinny dipping at the beach, and lots of crazy sex start to lose its appeal. Hungover and distraught you wonder if having a summer fling is even worth it.

In this situation, the question of morality is a difficult thing to address. One act can be right for one person while being wrong for another. You might think that there is nothing wrong with having a summer fling while your friends and family think either wise. To bypass the unnecessary guilt and questioning looks, first, you need to know what you’re getting yourself into.

If you are alright with the possibility of catching feelings with your fling and the underlying factors this brings with it- if this doesn’t bother you one bit- then there’s nothing stopping you with your whirlwind romance. Being aware of what you’re getting yourself into and keeping your guard up will help keep you grounded. The excitement and extra endorphins casual dating brings with it are quite tempting. Thus, many fall prey and don’t regret their actions. However, if you start to second guess yourself, then that in itself is a sign that maybe you’re not prepared for a “no strings attached” relationship. When you begin to questions your actions, you open the doors to a stream of questions that will just stress you out. If you find yourself in this position, maybe save yourself from that fling.

On the other hand, if these things don’t bother you one bit and your main goal is to have fun and meet new people, then you’re on the right track. Is it alright to have a summer fling? Maybe, rephrasing it to “Are you mentally ready to have a summer fling?” would make more sense for some. If you know what you’re getting yourself into, then you have nothing to lose.

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Summary

The beauty of relationships is that different things work for each person. We’ve all heard either our friends, family, or on tv say “commitment is scary.” It is scary if you make it scary. If you’re not ready to settle down and just looking for some, a summer fling might be your best call. Do remember that there are consequences to this. If you start to catch feelings, then you’re in for a lot of trouble. Other than that, enjoy that summer fling while it’s there. Your first heartbreak could be just around the corner.

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