Wife Sharing: My Husband Wants To, But What If I Don’t?

Wife sharing has benefits! But, it has to be agreed upon.

By Bella
Wife Sharing: My Husband Wants To, But What If I Don’t?

What is wife sharing?

Wife sharing happens when a man shares his wife with other men, despite being legally married and previously considered as exclusive to each other. A monogamous relationship becomes a polygamous relationship. Cuckolding is similar, except that the third party(another man entering into the relationship) has a bigger penis than your husband, or is more well-endowed in a particular physical or sexual attribute. This will make your husband feel inferior and he feels embarrassed by his shortcomings. Some men actually enjoy it when they are turned into a cuckold. 

As for wife sharing, it is possible for your man to swap you with his friend’s wife for a week. However, it is different from wife swapping. Wife swapping also encompasses the romantic aspect of the relationship, which involves your wife living together with another man, a la husband and wife style for a while. 

A lot of men have fragile egos, so they might fly into a rage if you suggest the idea of wife-sharing to them. They may also question their ability to provide sexual fulfillment for their wives. In most cases, it is the husband who explores wife sharing as a form of kink in the BDSM community, and the wife may or may not be receptive to it. Usually, a very eager husband will be very keen to convince his wife to allow herself to be shared. 

Why Might Your Husband Want To Share You?

1. He might be secretly a voyeur

Most likely, he likes watching porn, or videos of people having sexual intercourse. Hence, some men will feel inclined to take it one step further, thinking that they would feel aroused by their wives having sex with other men.

2. He might be bisexual

There could be a small possibility that he is on the LGBTQ spectrum. Bisexual people are attracted to both sexes, not just the opposite sex. Thus, to him, it may seem like the best of both worlds to have a menage-a-trois.

3. Monetisation

Perhaps he might end up sharing the video on a porn site or making his homemade porn for niche audiences, which helps to rake in the moolah. Or it could be used as a tool to blackmail you for money if he wants to. 

4. Certain health conditions

If your husband has some health conditions, such as being impotent or having premature ejaculation, he may feel that he may not be able to satisfy you. Also, if he is of advanced age or dealing with extreme obesity, certain sex positions may not be possible or may end up being very inconvenient.

5. Having healthy competition

Some men like to compete with other guys for their wife’s affection. He probably knows that you are a very sexually alluring and attractive woman, and he sees you as a “trophy” and a conquest and wins you over. With some healthy competition, he will be pressured to “up” his sex game. 

6. The love for all things taboo

Trying to conform to societal expectations all the time can feel very stifling. Some men just like to buck the trend and rebel against societal norms. It can make him feel liberated and uninhibited.

Why might a woman want to be shared?

1. Asserting her independence

Perhaps you want to show that you do not belong to any man. After all, in our misogynistic society, women who flirt with other men are called sluts and whores, but men who have sex with other women are called playboys or a ladies man. Having three husbands would be frowned upon by others, but in some cultures, it is legal for a man to marry three wives.

2. Sexual satisfaction

You could have a very high sexual libido, or perhaps, you want to try something new. Perhaps, your husband cannot fulfill all your sexual desires and needs, or he is not into certain kinks like BDSM or paraphilic infantilism.  

Benefits of wife sharing

1. Less inclined to cheat

Instead of cheating with another guy openly, being in an open relationship means that all your sexual escapades will be known to your husband. If you have a crush on a coworker, you do not need to have a secret rendezvous anymore. 

2. Keeping things fresh and interesting

Often, the daily grind of work can get to us, and we may not have time for our spouses. We might end up repeating the same sexual routines every night, which gets boring after a while. Having another man to join you and your husband in bed might spice things up a little.

3. Lower chances of getting a STI

If your husband allows another man into the relationship, you will be less inclined to stray and reconcile with your old flame and commit infidelity. Also, assuming that he allows you to be shared with another man if he decides to be in a relationship with another woman, he will end up being open about it. Hence, you will know your partner’s sexual history more intimately, and both of you will get to know your other partners better, reducing the chances of STIs from a one night stand or a no-strings-attached affair.

4. Less friction and tension in the relationship

When both of you see each other all the time, it can get quite exhausting. Tensions can arise in the relationship and both of you may need a break from each other. You might end up developing a codependent relationship with your husband and feel trapped or enmeshed. A dyad is the most unstable form of a relationship, hence, a triad might offer more stability.

What if I Don't Want To Be Shared, How Do I Tell Him

1. Find a good time and place

You should ideally disclose these feelings to him in private, so probably in the bedroom or the living room when there is no one else around would be good. Turn off the TV and remove all distractions. 

2. Ask him why he thinks that wife sharing is a good idea

Allow him to explain the benefits for both of you as a couple and ask him about why he wanted to share you.

3. Open communication is key

Do not beat around the bush or try to obfuscate the matter. Just come straight to the point and tell him that you do not wish to be shared. Lay down all your reasons, in a logical fashion. He may object or coerce you to be shared, but stay calm and rational about it. Try not to become too emotional.

4. Continue to keep channels of communication open

If you do not wish to be shared, let him know if you will be open to the possibility in the future. Also, let him know if you have any concerns about wife sharing.

5. Know your rights

If he turns violent or becomes aggressive, back away and call the police if necessary. At this point, if he constantly infringes on your rights, such as thinking that he owns your body or doing whatever he pleases to you in a sexual manner, you have to file for a divorce.

Related Article: 10 Things Men Love in Bed but Too Shy To Share
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What do you think of wife sharing? Are you amused by it, repulsed by it, or aroused by it? Your culture and upbringing may affect how open-minded you are. If your husband brings up the idea of wife sharing, speak out if you feel uncomfortable. You deserve to be respected. Of course, if you are open to the idea of wife sharing, there are a lot of benefits for both you and your husband. Now, you just have to wait for him to raise this topic.


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