How NOT To Be A Jealous GF When You Are The Jealous Type

When jealousy is in your blood, how to control and reduce it

By Diana N.
How NOT To Be A Jealous GF When You Are The Jealous Type

Jealous And Relationship Are Recipes For Disaster

If dating feels like a nightmare to you, have you checked your jealousy levels lately? It is hard to keep a healthy relationship when you allow jealousy to creep into every aspect of your life. You may call it love, but when it pushes you to start acting out, no man will stay with you.

Intimacy, the feeling of belonging to someone, and the role couples play in each other’s lives are the concoctions that stir up jealousy.

Although throwing a few hints now and then might not be a big deal, jealousy is destructive if it turns into an unhealthy possessive habit.

And what can you do to save yourself from it? Read on to find out.

1. Confront Your Insecurities

It takes a lot of work for a woman to find contentment, especially when she has plenty of things to compare with herself. And when she can’t reach your desires, she begins walking around with baggage of insecurities.

It can be personal insecurities from the opinions you hold about yourself or comparing yourself to others. So, if there's someone that you find perfect on Instagram, you may want to stop stalking them.

Apart from that, count on your strong points and embrace them to stop feeling less of yourself.

2. Set Your Partner Free

Having too many restrictions and being too controlling can breed jealousy.  Don’t be that girlfriend who thinks that zero-grazing their boyfriends will make them stay.

For your information, a strong union comes from a foundation of freedom. Therefore, allow your partner to be themselves whenever they feel like, so as not to dictate your own freedom.

3. Speak Up About Your Feelings

Be glad that you find the feeling within you uncomfortable because it is one step to getting rid of it. It might be time to open up to your boyfriend about your feelings.

However, if you want to have a meaningful conversation, avoid blaming him for your latest behavior. Point out what exactly drives you to it and let him find a way to put your mind at ease on his own.

4. Talk To Your Friends

Most females feel jealous at some point. If you talk to your friend, you might find out that one of them has been in your position.

You will not only feel that it is normal but also find an outside perspective on your situation.

5. Journal Your Feelings

If you think that you will freak out your boyfriend if you open up to him and that your friends might laugh at you, keep your feelings to yourself by writing them in your diary.

When you keep tabs of your fears and frustrations, it becomes an outlet that offers relief. Apart from that, it allows you to have a different perspective when you read it later.

6. Work On Your Self-Confidence

After listing down your frustrations, find ways to build on your self-esteem. For instance, avoid living under the shadow of your boyfriend’s ex, and boost the things that you take pride in such as working out, and put in more effort in your work or business

Nothing should make you feel that you are not enough.

7. Identify Coping Mechanisms

It is hard to get rid of jealousy even after establishing that there's no reason for you to be. It is, therefore, essential to find means of living with the feeling.

For instance, if you prioritize your emotional, physical, and mental well-being, they become a norm and replace the jealousy.

8. Embrace Trust

Learn to accept that your lover is not trying to replace you if he gets chatty with a waitress, or helps a woman carry her heavy bag. Trusting his moves improves your way of communication as he gets to trust you too.

You will realize a healthier and happier relationship the moment you realize that his intentions are pure.

9. Be Honest About The Impact

The consequences of jealousy in a union are pretty obvious. And when you make yourself aware that it will strain your relationship, turn you into a nagging partner, or make you hate every woman around you, you will start finding ways to avoid it.

10. Rubber Band Technique

Well, you can stop yourself from slipping into jealousy if you find a reminder. A rubber band around your wrist can do just that.

For instance, whenever you feel like the feeling is beginning to take over, you can snap the rubber band, and the pain will snap you out of it.

Learning To Recognize That You Went Overboard

Unfortunately, most individuals only realize that they have this bad habit when it has already ruined the good thing they had. Therefore, how can you notice that you possess this creepy desire?

Good for you, there are unusual instances that can occur in a relationship that can snowballs into hefty issues later. Check out some of them.

1. You Expect Him To Spend All His Time With You

It is okay for him to append quality time with you, but it is something else if you expect his world to always rotate around you.

If you find that you feel bad when he spends time with his friends and family, or take some time for himself, you might be leading to a rocky path.

2. You Follow Up On Every Step He Makes

When you care for someone, it is reasonable to call or text them often to check for their safety. What is abnormal is expecting him to notify you of every step he makes.

You should, therefore, watch out for yourself if you have your boyfriend’s phone on a tracker or have an obsession with wanting to know where they are, and with whom.

3. There Are Rules On People He Can Talk To

Do you feel angry when you see your lover talking to another person? Is it always a fight when he spends time with them?

Being skeptical about whom your partner interacts with is normal, especially if it is his ex. However, if you find yourself making a list in your head of the people he should not talk to, you will be taking it too far. 

Avoid having your boyfriend please you by isolating himself from people because it might lead to depression.

4. Too Many Suspicions

You might lose your relationship if you get convinced that everyone is flirting with your soul mate. It is even worse if you find it threatening when they dress too cute or become too friendly with other women.

If your lover assures you of his faithfulness, have faith and stop burdening him with constant doubts and accusations.

5. Possessiveness

Although posting them on social media and let the whole world know that he is yours is cute, it can turn out to be overbearing when you overdo it. It is also a way of marking territory and scaring off competition.

Jealousy arises when you start showing him off too much just to prove a point and insist that he makes romantic statements and gestures in public.

6. Quick Temper

Your conflict resolution methods speak a lot. For instance, the most acceptable way is to find reasons for someone's behavior calmly.

So, if you find yourself throwing tantrums and rage whenever your boyfriend comes home late, or when he makes silly comments, something is up with you. Make an effort to calm down, and speak out your issues.

7. Sneaking On Him

Every relationship thrives on boundaries and trust, and yours is no exception. Therefore, going through his things, and scouring through his phone, and social media accounts is not a way of being an open book.

 It is about dominance, control, and wanting proof.

8. Talking Bad About Everyone Around

Gossiping lovers make the best relationship. However, if you start hating on everyone around you and letting your lover know, it becomes jealousy.

It means that you have pending issues, and you can turn out to be possessive of your soul mate because you cannot tolerate seeing another person being good to him.

Related Article: 12 Things to Do to Diffuse Jealousy Straight Away
12 Things to Do to Diffuse Jealousy Straight Away

Ways to prevent your jealousy from ruining your relationship


Admitting that you are jealous is the first stop to it. And it should be easier now that you have recognition insights.


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