What to Do When He Start Pulling Away From You?

Not all relationships always go as smooth as butter. Differences can occur at any point in time, causing one of the parties to show signs of pulling away. As soon as the flicker of romance and passion starts to fade, it’s too obvious to let it slide.

If that’s what you’re experiencing, then you’ve come to the right place. We’ll describe the exact signs that are visible when a guy starts to pull away, and we’ll discuss what you can do about it in different situations. Keep reading!

One important indicator is the way he behaves around you now. If he’s acting strangely distant all of a sudden, contrary to his previous self with you, it could mean he’s losing interest. However, that’s not the necessary deduction to be made – he could be acting this way because of many other reasons.

Maybe something in his personal life is too draining for him to be jolly around you, or another problem might be consuming all his mental energy. His priorities may be all over the place at the moment, after all, we can all feel lost every once in a while. These issues can divert anyone’s attention from their loved ones.

But, if things seem to be going well for him, and there’s no plausible explanation for his distant behavior, chances are that he’s slowly pulling away.

When someone loses interest, it’s common for them to ignore your calls, and reply super late to your texts. Though, again, just this particular indicator isn’t enough to deduce that he’s not into you anymore. Many women jump to that conclusion, which can be true, but not always.

Maybe it’s not as black and white. Maybe he’s not ignoring your calls while he’s sitting around doing nothing. He could be busy! Guys aren’t as good at multitasking as women; they’re single-minded beings and like to focus on one thing at a time. If he’s got piles of work files to get through, he’ll probably block out all distractions till he finishes what he’s doing.

Oh, and here’s another possibility: maybe his phone is just dead!

However, when more signs occur together, they may point towards a guy that’s losing interest. So let’s discuss more.  

A guy who’s losing interest won’t let you find that out right away. He’ll naturally become more unavailable, as he’s losing motivation to talk to you more often, but as soon as you notice that, he’ll do stuff to make it up to you. This behavior is termed as blowing ‘hot and cold’, which either occurs at the start of the relationship (when the guy plays hard to get), or at the end, as he loses interest.

If he keeps making super sweet promises, yet always fails to follow them up with consistent actions, he’s probably not as into you as he says.

If he used to see your problems like his, and always found solutions for you, but doesn’t do that anymore – he could be losing interest. If someone who used to look for ways to make you happier all the time, doesn’t pay attention to you anymore, it’s usually not a good sign.

However, this can be due to other external factors too, such as a busier schedule, gruesome work tasks, or other stresses. Though, if such behavior occurs for an extended amount of time without an explanation, then it could be bad news for the relationship.

All of a sudden, is he always too busy to stay true to the plans he makes with you? By some random excuse, does he always cancel at the last moment? Be it work, his friends, gym, or other problems, do they always seem to come in the way of your plans at the eleventh hour?

If that happens once or twice, it’s understandable, as emergencies do come up sometimes. But, if this becomes a recurring pattern, where you’re constantly being thrown off his priority list, it could be a red flag. If this behavior is seen in conjunction with other negative signs, he could be pulling away.

Make sure you consider how different he’s being as compared to how things were in the past. Give him time to see if it’s just the external circumstances causing him to behave this way, or if he actually lost interest.

There can be many different scenarios causing him to behave differently than he usually does with you. It could be anything that diverts his attention away and requires more of his mental energy. Anything that distracts him, or upsets him, can result in his seemingly distant behavior.

In many cases, it’s the work stress and other external factors making him prioritize other issues above you. However, other times, it can be the relationship itself can be problematic for him to cope with. Either he’s losing interest.

Before assuming that his strange behavior is because of the relationship itself, make sure you rule out all other possible explanations. To think that he’s unhappy with the relationship is the worst-case scenario, so it’s important to make sure you don’t misunderstand the situation at that angle.

Before you get overwhelmed with insecurities and express them to your partner, see if the signs described above exist together.

It’s important to look at how many signs there are, how long they’ve been occurring, and how skewed his behavior is from the personality you’ve always known.

Once you’re certain that he’s upset with the relationship itself, you should figure out if the problem lies with you or himself. Are you doing something that upsets him that you never did before? Has he expressed any concerns relating to the two of you lately? Give him time and space, and see if things get back to normal any time soon. If not, and things are just getting worse, it could be time to talk things out with him.

Find the right time, when he’s in a good mood and unoccupied, and start an honest heart-to-heart conversation. Hopefully, you’ll work things out as a team, and he’ll let you know what’s going on in his mind. If he needs space and time, make sure you respect that.

Many times, guys can behave distant due to factors other than the relationship itself. For example, If he’s unavailable on call or text, but still respects every plan you make together and doesn’t cancel often, he’s probably too occupied at work to get back to you on the phone.

Indicators that he’s distraught due to work stress can be noticed quite easily in the time you spend with him. If you see him constantly sifting through work emails even at home, or attending client calls, etc., he’s probably too busy at the moment to treat you like he used to.

If that’s the case, make things as easy for him as possible, and ensure that you respect his priorities and you understand that his schedule is busy at the moment. He’ll love you for it, and as soon as he deals with the work mess, he’ll get back to being the sweetheart you’re used to!

Sometimes, guys can be distracted due to stuff other than work as well. If he’s not paying attention to what you say sometimes and isn’t being a good listener, but still responds to your calls and texts promptly, then it’s not like he’s not into you anymore. He’s not pulling away; he could just be mentally preoccupied due to some external catalyst.

Maybe he’s going through financial turmoil, or comforting a friend who lost a loved one, or just dealing with life in general. Any external problem can sometimes be enough to shake up our behavior, causing us to behave distant with the ones we love the most.

The best thing you can do in such a scenario gives him space and time he needs to cope with stuff and lending him an ear whenever he feels like venting it out with you.

Communication is the strongest tool in a successful relationship, so it’s good if he chooses to talk things out with you. However, if he chooses to remain silent, make sure you respect that as well. Sooner or later, once the stress source gets resolved, things will go back to normal once again!

In a relationship, partners are meant to support each other through everything. While they cherish the moments of happiness with one another, they also stick together through the roughest of times. Every defeat, success, hardship, and ease, is shared mutually among them.

However, one of them can start acting strangely distant at a certain point in time, and this can be due to a variety of different reasons. The most worrying cause is the possible loss of interest, but that’s probably the rarest reason. Hopefully, this article has helped you figure out why he’s behaving colder than usual, and what you can do about it. All the best!