What is a Selfish Inconsiderate Husband
Married couples are supposed to care for and love each other. Through thick and thin, your love is stronger than your vows. Sometimes you lay in bed at night thinking about your husband, you feel he is not as considerate as you want him to be. He thinks for himself first rather than for the marriage. He does whatever he wants. Is this really a marriage you want?
A selfish inconsiderate husband is someone who refuses to put his family first. He does things for his best interest. If he gets a chance to live his best life working as a musician on a cruise ship, he will not hesitate to leave you and the kids to go on a 3-year adventure. You don't get to protest his decisions. He doesn't care.
Why Nagging is Useless
He thinks about himself first. Things that don't go in his favor aren't things he cares for. Nagging will never work. It goes against his favors and he immediately rejects the notion to listen. Nagging a selfish inconsiderate husband is the toughest job in the world. It's almost like talking to a wall. You can't get through to him.
The first step to fixing a selfish inconsiderate husband is to understand why he is acting this way.
Finding Out Why He is Acting Like This
There can be underlying mental health issues contributing to his incapability to love and care for others. Perhaps it's due to some childhood trauma, or he was born with some mental issues. Or, he is simply unaware of the fact that he needs to think for you as well. He thinks for himself first because it's what he is used to.
Finding out why he is like this helps you figure out a plan to deal with it. You can't untie a knot until you see where it's stuck. Confrontations don't have to be scary. Follow these 16 tips to reconstruct a happy and healthy marriage to get your husband out of the selfie universe!
16 Witty Ways to Deal with a Selfish Inconsiderate Husband
1. Take him to a theme park for a de-stress trip
Your husband may have developed selfishness from work stress. He has to be tough at work and has forgotten how to be nice at home. Take him to his favorite theme park and enjoy a lovely and exciting afternoon flying through those rides.
2. Watch a silly movie
He needs a funny movie to keep his sense of humor and energy level up. You don't always need a confrontation. When he feels better mentally, he will be able to give you what you want. Play a silly movie and laugh at all those jokes together.
3. Treat yourself how you want to be treated
Well, since he is not taking care of your emotional needs, might as well take care of it yourself. Treat yourself how you want to be treated by your husband. Buy yourself some nice flowers and enjoy a spa day. Cook yourself the best meal and pour a glass of wine for yourself. If he asks, tells him since no one is doing it for you, you are doing it yourself because you deserve it.
4. Tell him to shadow you for a week
Ask your man to shadow you for a week. See how you are treating him and how you want to be treated. You can't always treat him like a king when he treats you like a maid.
5. Swap roles for a day
Tell him to swap roles with you. He will handle all the chores while you sit on the couch and watch movies. You have done enough for him. He doesn't know how to appreciate you and doesn't help out. It's time to make him do it for a day so he can understand house chores aren't necessarily easier than a real job. It's a lot of hassles and work.
6. Get his friends to do an intervention
He may not like it when words are coming out of your mouth to criticize him. Has it come to a point where you cannot live with his selfishness anymore? Contact his friends and get them to do an intervention. It's easier when other people point it out for him.
7. Take him to a therapist
Well, nothing says professional and best than taking him to a marriage therapist. It saves you the energy to blindly figure out what scheme works and what doesn't.
8. Buy him a funny marriage book as a gift
There are plenty of witty, funny books on marriage and love. Those books put marriage trouble in a comedic way. Buy him one and let him see your issues without getting overly defensive. Besides, who doesn't love a good book that's all too relatable?
9. Dare him
Play some fun games with him. Dare him to be polite to you. Every time he fails he has to put a dollar in the jar. It's a great way to train him while making some extra cash, yay!
10. Exchange kind gestures
Set up a reward system, if he is kind to you, you will be kind to him. How it works is you will cook him a nice meal if he gives you a foot massage. Set up one where you both will do work for each other. Don't set up something too difficult to achieve as all goals should be attainable.
11. Set baby steps and a reward system
If you don't like exchanging gestures, set up a reward scheme where your husband will be rewarded for things he does for you. Say your goal is to get him to kiss you goodby every morning he goes for work, instead of just running out without a goodbye, mark it down on the calendar when he does that for you. If he manages to do it the whole week, give him a reward like any massages he wants or any meals he wants.
This is a cute way to get him to change his habits without getting angry. If he doesn't do his part, you don't have to exhaust yourself trying to please him!
12. Find things that interest him
Does he like basketball? Find common things that he likes to reignite the sparks. Join in on his conversations for some common grounds!
13. Play some video games
Video games are a great way to coordinate with your partner. Through games, you can see truly how selfish he is and what exactly is the problem. Is he impatient? Or is he competitive? You can't deal with him unless you know where the problem lies and video games often provide great insights into it.
14. Get him to babysit the kids
Children are often the reason for a husband to be selfish as he doesn't understand how tough it is for you to take care of the family. Get him to babysit the kids and guide him through it. Make him see what a super mom you are.
15. Ask him about it
Ask him if he thinks he has a problem. His attitude is pissing you off. Does he even know about it? Smart and direct. Ask calmly in a situation when he least suspects it so he can give you an honest answer.
16. Tell him to read your vows again
What's a better way to remind him of his words than the vows he made? Replay that clip and make him read it out loud!
Helping Your Husband Be The Better Version of Himself
It's easy to get lost in years and years of marriage. Different things accumulate and your husband has lost the ability to be nice. Whatever reasons it might be, there's always a way to fix it, even if that means you leaving for your own happiness.
His work stress, children, the loss of passion in the married life...There are so many factors. It's important to get down to these reasons to see why he is feeling this way. You can help your husband by discovering issues that are contributing to it and figuring out a way to help him.
Your man may not be the best right now but it can also be a cry for help. You can help him become the man you once fell in love with! But also understand that you should put your welfare and happiness first, the last step is to fix it can be leaving. Don't hesitate to take that step if the marriage has become too toxic.
Marriage takes work. It's not always easy to help someone become a better version of himself but the end result is worth it. Try the methods to see if your husband is capable of changing. If he is, try to help steer him on the right path. If not, don't hesitate to leave him!
Dealing with a selfish inconsiderate husband is a pain in the ass! You are always annoyed by how little he cares and he is not willing to change! Perhaps you are not using the right ways. These 16 tips are a great way to start. Look at these tips and pick several that work well for you in your situation and help your husband to become the best man he can be today!