How To Stop Being A Selfish Partner And Have A Healthier Relationship

It's always okay to feel a little more, crave for attention a little more or even want a little more. But when these little things get you all fired up and you feel more self-centered and unreasonable, then things are getting out of hand. One way to keep in check with your own feelings is to reflect on your behavior from the past. Here are some relationships to look back to:

Recall, what were the problems that caused your breakups? Was there a lot of fighting? You might remember a feeling of unfulfillment and inadequacy. Being selfish makes you unsatisfied no matter how many efforts your partner has made. You will also remember the times your partner trying to reason with you but you often felt threatened by all those arguments and discussions.

Family can forgive an forget many major issues because there is always unconditional love from their side. But that doesn't mean neglecting your irrational behavior won't matter ever.

Making up a friendship can take years, but losing them can be a matter of moments. A few harsh words here and there, or the selfish behavior, can push things downhill to a point of no return.

If you fear that you might be selfish in your relationship, or any other part of life, it means you're one step closer to being a good person. Accepting is improving and there's no harm. Here's a checklist to confirm if you're the selfish one:

What's the point when you can't even talk about your troubles to someone? If you think your partner listens to all your rants and complaints, but you don't offer the same in returns, then that's a sign you're the selfish one in the relationship.

Everyone likes to avoid deep, scary conversations. But communication is essential in a relationship. Locking yourself up in the room or switching off your phone is a very selfish act that easily takes you away from your problems but leaves your partner hanging there alone.

If you're the troublemaker in the relationship, you insist that your perspective is always the correct one. This one is the red flag indication of selfishness in a relationship, you trying to prove your own point of view every single time. 

The insecurities and possessiveness are a part of every normal relationship but when you crank these feelings up to a notch, they become a problem. Selfish people tend to pull their partner away from their friends and social circles because they like to control what or who is a part of their life. There may be no harm according to them, but this kind of selfishness is destructive.

In many fights, we say things we don't mean. But the said words will always have an impact. No one actually wants to stay away or end things, but threatening someone this way is very handy in arguments. So if you find yourself repeatedly saying stuff like this, even if you don't actually mean it, that's selfish.

Proven right that it is actually you? No worries there, there's always room to make up for whatever wrong was done and save your relationship and yourself in life. Follow these tips and make yourself and your relationship better:

There's a LOT you can change about yourself for the better, even if you think there's no way. Our heart and mind can surprise us by the capabilities we couldn't even fathom. So take a step back, look deep inside, you'll definitely find something. 

The first step is to figure out your inner feelings. Why is it that you're always so cranky or upset and rude? How come things aren't going so smoothly or why is your couple different from any other? You might be acting this way due to some past experience, or just as a shield to protect yourself. Find the root and share it with your partner too. 

Never interrupt when they're trying to say something. Because of your constant tantrums and screaming, your partner might never speak their heart out. It's okay to listen every once in a while, though only good communication you can figure out what you both actually want. But yes, if they get loud, you can always politely ask them to calm down as you're here to listen.

Say what? You might think you're already paying the necessary attention to your lover, but there's more depth to that than you can imagine. Concentrate on every little thing your partner has to say. If something has upset them, don't consider it minor. Make them realize you're here to listen and help. It's not always about you.

This one is for both of you. Why only focus on the bad miserable stuff when you have definitely gone through lots of happiness too. From the initial stages, you have seen each other grow in the relationship and all those moments account for something at least.

There is always a fine line between being wanting attention and getting on someone's nerves. Your partner might be trying their best to already tolerate you and your selfish behavior, so don't push it. Realize when you're overdoing it or simply, ask them.

According to psychologists, there's a deep link between our attitude and behaviour. These two things are not the same but totally govern each other. So if you blame yourself for everything (that's your attitude), you will tend to hate some part of yourself and your behaviour will become destructive too. Realizing your mistakes and insufficiencies is a great step to begin with, but keep a positive attitude to correct them, not overthink them.

Not only the two of you, but your overall social life affects a lot in your relationship. Whether it's your friends and family, social gatherings or just simple interactions with the outside world.

Space is always misunderstood with distance. Turning away is bad and a selfish act, but giving your loved one a healthy amount of space can do wonders for your relationship. Let them choose what they want to do with their life, making little choices about where to have lunch or make plans with friends, etc. can totally lighten them up and you too.

A relationship causes a heck lot of damage to friendships. Go make plans with them. Ask your partner to invite some pals over or hang out with them elsewhere. 

Always accept the fact that it's okay for someone to spend time with some other person or some other activity. You need to settle with yourself that everything that you want, might not turn out to be so helpful. A little compromise can make you humble and modest too.

Being a better person means to be better essentially with other people. Obviously, there are some you can't stand, but try to accept their nature and personalities too. It's not like you have to compare yourself with them, right? A little close observation can change your perspective on people.

Don't hesitate to reach out for help as either counseling or just to make new friends. What if you're waiting around for the right friend, scared to let your guard down but the right friend is holding back because of the same reasons? Help is always an option.

If you want to make yourself better, try asking yourself these things. Who can judge you best and more honestly than yourself? Would you like to become friends with yourself? If you were another person in need of help, would you ask for it from you? Do you consider yourself approachable that way? To be socially better, you need to make yourself better. Only then people will accept you from the heart.

Everybody's different and takes different amounts of time to understand things. There's never a right way to do anything but there is always room for improvement. Being self-centered will get you nowhere but knowing yourself that much is a step forward.