What Is A Serial Cheater?
All of us have come across someone who clicked just the right buttons and swept-us off of our feet just in the first few dates. That, someone, felt like the right person all along but to our surprise, we weren’t the only recipient of their ‘I love you I can’t live without you’ text messages. After the first time, we worked hard to believe in love again but the next person to come in wasn’t loyal too. Unfortunately, cheating has become way too common. Why is it that every person I’ve met has at least one experience of being cheated on?
Cheaters are way too good at this game. They’re getting better every day and to help you identify who you’re dealing with – this article will let you in on all of the tricks and signs of a serial cheater. The more you’re aware, the harder it is for them to fool you.
What Are Signs Of Guilt?
No matter how good a person is at deceiving, he will show a few signs through which you can tell that they are guilty. Following are some of the signs that show your partner has got something to hide.
1. They become possessive
When a cheater is guilty, they become possessive about you. It is a sign of guilt since they know that there are others out there like themselves who can take you away. Since they’re disloyal themselves, it’s hard for them to believe that you’re going to stay loyal.
2. They’re behavior fluctuates
When a partner starts an affair, the sense of guilt that they’re being unfair to you makes them extra caring and sweet towards you. In their weird head, their sweetness and lovingness towards you is their compensation for being disloyal.
3. They make you feel bad about yourself
To deal with the guilt, they either become too good or too harsh on their partner. Their attitude becomes harsh so that they can get into arguments and justify that since their partner is always arguing, they have to go to someone else to feel loved.
4. They suddenly start highlighting the efforts they're putting in
If your partner, out of the blue, starts to highlight the things they’re doing for you – it is their guilt talking. They might even be setting up a backup plan to get you back by dangling all of these acts over you in case they get caught.
Traits of a Cheater
1. Flirting is like breathing
For cheaters, flirting comes easy. This is because they have done this many times. As it is rightly said, ‘practice makes perfect’. Flirting is a trait of cheaters because it comes so naturally to them that they lose control at times and flirt with others around even in the presence of their partner.
2. They make you the insecure one
The common way a cheater runs from being exposed is by making their partner feel insecure. Continuing from point 1, when they are confronted about their flirtatious behavior their defense is ‘you’re being too sensitive and maybe that’s stemming from your insecurities’. Hence, commonly the partner of a cheater will be led to believe that they are making a situation something it is not.
Cheaters play with feelings. To get away with this sin, they master the technique of mind games and manipulation. Manipulation is often a technique that’s hard to recognize when you’re at the receiving end so the best way to find out whether your partner is a manipulator or not is by observing his behavior with others. Manipulation is a trait that’s very common in cheaters.
4. Most cheaters are narcissistic
Being with multiple people at a time makes a cheater feels accomplished and reinforced their huge egoistic self. The narcissistic tendency is a major trait of a serial cheater. The pleasure they get from playing people on their fingers is enough for them to keep going. They justify their behavior in their mind because that’s how narcissists go about. You need to be extra careful if you’re dealing with such a person.
5. They’re extremely jealous
Yup, you heard it right. Even though they don’t know what loyalty is, they expect you to be extremely loyal to them. Even though they will you out to be the insecure and jealous one to get out of a tough situation, in reality – it is they who are jealous, insecure, and possessive. Don’t be fooled and confuse their possessiveness with love. A cheater is only possessive because it will hurt their ego to be with a person who someone else is sleeping with.
6. They are thrill-addicts
I have come across cases where an individual genuinely fell in love with another and got him/herself in a love triangle just because they were naïve. If you ask them, they would hate to be in that situation again. No sane person wants to hurt another. But in the case of a serial cheater, they are in it for the thrill. They don’t care about how broken they will leave the individuals involved because for them, the others are the side characters while they are the main. As insane as it may sound, a serial cheater likes to thrill and will cheat just for the sake of it.
How Do You Know If A Cheater Won't Cheat Anymore?
When a cheater accepts his mistakes and apologizes sincerely, it is a sign that he’s willing to change. But cheaters use fake apologies all the time so what can we do to know the difference between a cheater who has no intentions to change and a cheater who wants to set things straight. The answer is, by observing his actions. Some signs are him being transparent about his whereabouts and phone. With time, his actions will give you the answer you’re looking for.
Should You Trust Cheaters?
‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’, is a well-known saying. To be honest, I go by this saying. I’ve rarely seen a cheater change his ways for someone but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t ever be trusted. People can change and every case is different. Hear their reasons out, and observe how much they're willing to put in to win you back.
The only thing that you need to be careful about is your mental health. Don’t go back into a toxic relationship because it is very difficult to differentiate between a liar and a manipulator. If he/she is trying to guilt-trip you into being with them – that another technique of manipulation and a sign that they’re not going to change. A person who is trying to change will come clean and give you all control of the next step – they will let you go without trying to stop you because they know that they’ve done enough damage. The decision of staying will only be healthy if it was all you and your partner didn’t influence the decision in any way.
Why do people cheat?
There are several reasons behind the act of cheating but none of them is enough to justify the hurt that the innocent party suffers. There are all sorts of people out there hence, all sorts of reasons. Some cheat simply because they fell out of love with their partner and don’t have the courage to break up with them. Some cheat just for the sake of the thrill. Some also cheat because their under the influence of some kind of drug – most commonly alcohol.
Being with a person who didn’t value your love and cheated on you leaves you broken. Working on the relationship and continuing with them is a personal choice that has a lot of chances of backfiring. Being with a serial cheater on the other hand leaves you with the only option of moving on without them. A serial cheater has got some serious issues and if you still want to work things out with them, going to therapy together might help. Cheaters have a mindset that is hard to understand especially by the people who have been loyal to their partners all of their life. If it were up to, I would never let a cheater near people with genuine feelings. But unfortunately, life is never completely black and white. We need to learn to deal with the grey area too and I hope this article helped you in doing that.