Does He Care About Me? 17 Subtle Signs To Find Out

Do you want to decode if he truly cares or he’s just a pretender? Use these 17 signs of care to comprehend how much you mean to him.

By Gerald Matiri
Does He Care About Me? 17 Subtle Signs To Find Out

How Do I Know If He Does Care About Me?

Relationships can be a tricky affair. Being in a relationship with a guy is simple but reading his mind is a tricky business. Some men are straightforward when showing how much they care while most get a hard time expressing their feelings romantically. Your boyfriend may tell you that he loves you, but when it comes down to expressing what you mean to him, he might not be the most articulate. Is this the man you are dating? Keep reading. Even if you try to probe into the matter directly, you might be left even more confused. There are subtle ways you will just know that he does care without forcing words from his mouth. All you have to do is follow the hints. There are a lot of manipulative men out there that it becomes hard to distinguish between the genuine ones and pretenders. You may have met this nice guy that seems to care so much, but you still have this nagging question- “Does he care about me genuinely?” This is a quiz you cannot ask him directly. Instead, use these 17 signs to determine if he cares about you.

1) The way he looks at me with loving eyes

There are hints that a guy sends by the way he looks at you. A caring man sees your soul through your eyes and not just your physical image. Follow your instincts- if he stares intensely when opening up, then he cares about you indeed. You can test his presence in different ways. Before your relationship reaches this level of intimacy, it takes a lot of time. It is one of the most romantic experiences you can have when you are spending time together. To you, perhaps the words ‘I care about you’ from a man are the most significant signs of caring and commitment in your relationship. You might want to be reassured more often. But for men, uttering words of assurance is crucial only for the first few moments in a relationship. From there, what matters is compatibility and understanding. He might not express his romantic feelings as often as you expect but this is not to mean that he’s bored with you. He could actually be indulging in subtle ways of showing how much he cares. But do you notice them?

2) He respects and care about me

You can test if relationships are working by the subtle ways that dudes treat their girls. Guys respect and care a lot the girls they care about. It is one of the most important signs. There are many ways he shows respect from giving you space, listening carefully, to respecting your boundaries. Someone who respects your moral values is a caring person. He respects not only your family but also your girlfriends. If at one point you get uncomfortable with a particular guy and deep down inside you feel like there is no mutual respect, just walk away because he doesn’t care. If he says that he respects you, then he should mean it. He must be patient with you and never force you to do anything. Mutual respect and understanding characterize healthy relationships. If your guy understands that you need personal space, he is indeed a keeper. He should trust you enough to allow you to go out with your girlfriends any time you want. Spending time together is romantic, but respecting your personal time is a sure sign that he cares. The other subtle ways you can use to know if he respects you is by watching his listening skills. If he takes time to listen and gives you a shoulder to lean on, it means that he cares. When men listen to you in relationships, it is a sign that they care about you.

3) His encouragements

Whether they are just friends or boyfriends, men who encourage you in relationships care about your life. You want to have a relationship with someone who motivates you rather than discouraging you. If he cares, he should be the first person to support your dreams. He will also send sweet inspirational messages to help you keep on keeping on. He may just show up when you are giving a speech to your schoolmates to provide you with moral support. All these are signs that he does care about you. You are a special girl if your man uplifts you rather than bringing you down. He inspires you because he loves you. You should be grateful he is not like some guys who take advantage of their girlfriends. You know he is a source of encouragement because he doesn’t judge you or give unwanted opinions. He doesn’t pin you down when you do something stupid or tell you what you should have done. That is a caring man. He is always there to listen as you vent because it is all you need- a shoulder to cry on. He encourages you because he cares. This is a true test of whether he cares about you.

4) He cares about my future

A man with true feelings for you wants to know what you want to do in future. Not that he is being nosy but wants to see if there is a chance he can fit into your future plans. He will, for instance, inquire about your career goals, whether you want to relocate, or if you have plans for studying abroad. Since he cares, his interests in your personal life are genuine. If you are in courtship, he wants to see if there are any changes he can make as you build your future together. And even if he is not ready for a long-term commitment, talking about your future is an indication that he has feelings for you. So, the ball is in your court; if you think he cares and respects you, after watching these subtle signs, what is your next move?

5) He trusts me

Trust is a very delicate matter when it comes to relationships. If he could be honest with you, it is hard for him to trust but he manages. Trust is among the most influential foundations in a relationship, so rest assures that he cares if he gives you hints that he trusts you. How do you know he trusts you when he doesn’t say it? Well, if you have never caught him scrolling down your phone messages, it means he has no reasons to doubt you. Does he allow you to go out with other friends? If yes, you know he trusts and cares about you. At one point in your life, you could have been hurt by a guy…perhaps severally by the same person. You, therefore, understand how difficult it is for someone to trust you. But if he cares, he will show it with actions and not mere words. He will also keep his promises, even the smallest. If he trusts you, he will stick with you no matter what. You deserve to have a boyfriend like this one. Don’t settle for a suspicious man- he will threaten your life.


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6) He texts me early in the morning and calls late at night

When a man texts you the first thing in the morning, it is such a good sign. It means you were in his dreams and the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up. Being the first and last thing on someone’s mind is romantic. If he has time for you during these two critical times, it means his feelings for you are very strong. It could be a simple text or any other form of social media communication; all are signs that he cares about you. A wake-up call is sweet and romantic- he wants you to think about him all day long.

7) Test results of my love quiz shows 70% and above

So you have eyes for this special man. You think he might care, but he’s a little shy to show his feelings. Unless you take a quiz, you will never know. You can find a love quiz on the internet, and it is going to help you determine if he is genuine or pretending in relationships. However, the quiz is not a 100% sure way to determine his true feelings, but it can give you better hints. Here is an example of “if he cares about me” quiz: How long have you been together? o Days o Weeks o Months o Years Who initiates a conversation? o Me o Me or him o Him Where did you first meet him? o Online o School o Work o Others Has he called or texted you recently? o Never o Only if I text/call o Yes The last time he talked to you o A year ago o 3 months ago o 1 week ago o Today Has he ever hugged/kissed you? o No o He is shy o Touched me a little o All the time Does he crack jokes when you are with him? o No o Yes Has he introduced you to any of his friends? o No o Yes Do you honestly think he cares? o Perhaps, I am not sure o I hope he does o I care about him, so he must care about me o Yes, I know because he shows it

8) He surprises me

The world makes women believe that men are only after one thing (sex) if they are giving surprises in relationships. But there is a good man out there who wants to surprise you because he cares. He is a compassionate person you should give a chance. Don’t you like surprises? Of course, you do, and that is why he wants you to be happy. What could make you more comfortable than opening the door to see a guy holding a bunch of red roses? Or doesn’t it feel good to get a good morning text or call? These are the type of surprises men give to girls they only care about. It could even be as small as hugging you from behind when you least expect it. When you are in a relationship with the right guy, it feels comfortable, and you should hold on to the feelings. Surprising you means that he is willing to go out of his way just to see you happy and safe. He wants to see you excited.

9) He shows care for my well being

If you want to test a guy for his caring attitude, find out if he is interested in your welfare and happiness. He should be concerned with your matters even when they have nothing related to his life. Most signs of love such as texting and visiting you are about satisfying his romantic desires, but if he truly cares about you, he must show concern for your well being. That is to mean he wants only the best for you. He supports your academic dreams even when they steal you away from him. He is positive about anything that adds quality to your life. If he wants to be part of your life, he will try to improve himself so he can be good enough for you. There are many signs that can prove these such as going to the gym and changing his wardrobe.

10) He cares to open up

The reason most relationships don’t work is lack of openness. Unlike ladies who are more willing to share their feelings, men are less proficient at showing their emotions. If you have found a man who is into you for real, he will care enough to open up to you. This guy will tell you about his daily adventures, his friends, and family, his tribulations, and even ask for your advice. He will not just blab about his life but will also give you a chance to talk about your feelings and how you are holding up. If he cares, he will show it from the day you meet. Otherwise, if he doesn’t show any acts of kindness, stop wasting your time with him. If you are a mature lady who has dated different men, you already know how to identify a guy who hides their true colors underneath. A guy who opens up is someone you can spend the rest of your life with. Rest assured that men who care exist. If a man shows you hints of openness, you already have the answer to your quiz (does he care?)

11) His body language says he cares about me

Body language is key in communication. It is one of the involuntary reflexes which don’t lie. Not unless someone is so self-conscious and overly cautious, body language signs are very noticeable. If you need more hints to your quiz (does he love me), pay attention to his body language. You have a chance to test his feelings with the way he behaves around you. One thing you will not is his subtle ways of touching you. Men who care about their women are very touchy, even in public. If your man stands close to you, plays with your hair, and holds your waist, then you should know that he cares a lot about you. When you are busy, you will catch him staring at you in a suggestive way. Besides eye contact, his posture will tell if he cares or not. If he is dating you, he will usually stand in a man spreading posture to showcase his confidence. He will maintain a straight back and keep his head high. If he is serious about you, he will want to show his attachment to you in public through PDA. If he is not afraid to publicly display his affection for you, then he does care about you.

12) He asks for my advice

Does your man seek your advice? You must be one in a million; most men are egoistic and think themselves as better than women. So, if he is courageous enough to ask for your opinion, he cares a lot about you. Men were not created to depend on women. Most of them do things on their own, disregarding what their women think. Having a guy who values your opinion is thus a blessing. He is communicating love to you and wants to hear your say about his life. Generally, men know everything. They need no answer from women, but when he asks for your advice, it should blow your mind. Do not worry about him ignoring your advice; go ahead and give your strongest opinion. There is only one reason he asks for your advice: he cares.

13) He acts jealous

You will agree with most people that if a man gets jealous when you are with other guys, he has feelings for you; but this is just one reason. Jealousy signs are not always as clear as you might think. So, how can you tell he is jealous? Watch his body language signs such as eye contact which is a big giveaway. The next time you are around another man, watch his reactions closely. Trust me he will be watching how you are interacting with the dude. He also wants to know exactly what is going on, not to cause a fight but to ensure that you are safe. It is a good sign of care. And even if he pretends not to care, you will see it clearly on his face if you bring another guy in front of him. A jealous man makes defensive jokes and teases other men who seem interested in. For instance, he might make fun of another guy just to test your reactions. He might as well withdraw from the scenario if he is the type who doesn’t know how to hide his feelings. These hints are surefire signs he doesn’t want any other man near you.

14) He remembers my birthday

Your birthday should be your most important date on your calendar. Men are poor at remembering dates, but your man cares enough to remember your birthday. He conveys feelings of more than friendship care. He celebrates with you moments of happiness in your life because he cares about you. It doesn’t matter whether he has kept a reminder on his phone; he wants to make sure you are happy on this particular date. When someone starts to care about you, they become super-aware of your life, whether you are around or not. That’s why you’ll see him paying attention to your personal details including your age. He will remember even the most exquisite details. You will know he loves if he surprises you with a birthday gift.

15) He uses ‘we’ instead of ‘me’, ‘you’, and ‘I’

It is easier to spot love in a couple that uses ‘we’ when talking instead of ‘you and I.' It is one of the subtle ways to communicate love. A true connection is not established through gifts or occasional event; it is the little things that matter. By using the word ‘we’ when talking to you, he gives hints on what’s going on between you two. So, when he exclaims, ‘’you mean we are pregnant” or “We are getting married soon,” it means that he has you back all the time. These words- ‘we,' ‘our,' and ‘us’ are a representation of togetherness. While you, me, I, or you and I, represent separateness or bossiness. The beauty of using the word ‘we’ in a conversation is how the brain responds. It sets in the connection mode, making you see the other party as a friend and not a foe, even when there’s a conflict.

16) He fits me into his schedule

While your boyfriend gives you space to do your own things or interact with others, he also puts efforts to involve you in his life. He wants to spend more time with you because loves you. Regardless of his tight schedule, he will switch things up to fit you in. Sometimes, he has to sacrifice his own program for the sake of you. If he could, he would create extra time just to see you during weekdays. He asks you to join him for breakfast or lunch because he needs to see you in his day. This is one of the promising signs that your man cares a lot about you. If he never gets time to see you because he’s too busy, then he doesn’t care enough about you. Unless he is outside the country, what would make him too busy not to see you in two months? Fitting you into his busy schedule is a sacrifice; he could do other things say watch football with his guy friends or be with another girl. But he chooses to spend time with you instead because he has an innate drive to care for you.

17) He love to spend some alone time with me

If he undoubtedly cares about you, he will not only want to see you but also have some personal time together. Besides squeezing you into his schedule as explained earlier, he will go a step further to create some privacy for the two of you. To achieve this goal, he might make some excuses just to be around you. If you are dating and wondering if your male friend cares about you, this point applies to you. If the only time you spend together is in the company of other friends, then he probably doesn’t care so much. But when he invites you to his house or makes a dinner reservation for just the two of you, he wants to be more than your friend. A guy who wants to be more than friends with you will pick you up for a party before someone else does, join you immediately when he notices you are alone and will use any opportunity to have you all to himself. Sometimes, he just wants your company, and it could also be a sign that he wants to make a move.


Different men show they care in different ways. Some are so poor at expressing their feelings that they give mixed hints. However, a man who is into you will make it visible. Next time you are with your man, pay close attention to the subtle ways and gestures he uses to express love. This is the true test of his love in a relationship. So, if your “Does he care about me” quiz has been answered by the subtle ways mentioned above, you are a lucky girl. Men who care about their women are rare species and if you have found one, don’t let go him off.