Your first time sex
You have always anticipated about how it's going to be when you have first time sex. It is indeed a lot of excitement for a first-timer! Many times, you just plunge into having sex just because all your classmates have lost their virginity long back and you are still left out. Your friends have filled you with all kinds of stories about how it feels like to have sex for the very first time. Definitely, for any first-timer willingly having sex, it feels like pure bliss. Until intercourse, everything feels wonderful, exciting and something that even words cannot express. Sex is a long learning process, but the very first time is a huge deal for everyone. A little discomfort is inevitable as you are about to let a big foreign body enter into yours. Unlike what your friends described, your first time experience could be very painful and there are chances that you wouldn't even enjoy it. Here is a beginner’s guide on how to reduce the pain during your first time sex.
1. Reduce pain by using a lubricant
For a woman or a young girl ready to have her first-time sex, using a bit of lubricant is a good idea. The vagina is very tight in the beginning. When force is applied through intercourse, there could be a lot of pain. For a virgin, first time sex also means the rupturing of the hymen. The hymen is a membrane that covers the external vaginal opening. Many women tend to break their hymen while they are still growing up owing to a fall or while playing sports. If the hymen is intact, then there could be some bleeding while having intercourse for the first time. This can cause a lot of pain and discomfort to the young girl. Using a lubricant in the form of petroleum jelly helps to ease the penis inside the vagina easily. There are many other lubricants formulated especially for this purpose also available at medical counters. You can also use some lubricant on the vaginal walls.
2. Tell your boyfriend to be gentle the first time
First-time sex is very different for the boy and girl. Though both of them are full of lust an desire, the man's lust continues till he ejaculates himself and for the girl the lust soon converts into a sharp pain as soon as he tries to enter her. A girl having sex for the first time might not even reach her orgasm or have a fulfilling climax. Her initial few trials as successful intercourse will only loosen her vaginal walls a little and only after that will she be able to endure pleasure while having sex. While losing your virginity always remember to tell your boyfriend that it is your first time. Although you have read a lot about sex and seen a lot of blue films, the entire experience will be very different than what you have thought about. It is much more satisfying and thrilling than masturbating also. If you want your first time sex to be a beautiful experience, tell your boyfriend to be gentle. After using a lubricant also, he should be very slow and gentle while penetrating and also should keep asking you whether you are comfortable or not. If he is gentle during your first time, there are fewer chances of pain and you also connect emotionally better to someone who understands your needs. Males generally have a tendency to be rough while having sex as they are covered with lust and desire, and for them to gain control over their actions takes time and experience. It might be tough for your guy to be gentle during his very first time too and you could do with reading some guidance for males too.
3. Use a condom for reducing pain
Condoms are available in various flavors today. They have a lubricating gel on them which not only makes them easier for men to wear them but also helps in easy penetration. When you are having sex for the first time, you are more wary about how to do it than the risk of ejaculating inside. This could be very risky and may land you with an unwanted pregnancy. It is always better to wear a condom while having sex. A condom also lets you forgot your tensions of an unwanted pregnancy and makes you enjoy the act more. It reduces your pain because of its lubrication. It easily slips inside the vagina causing you less discomfort. Many times, females experience dryness after their menstrual cycle. If you try to have sex after you have just completed with your menstrual cycle, sex will be much more painful than if you have if in your regular days.
4. Make sure there is enough foreplay before intercourse
The main purpose of having enough foreplay is to excite both the body and the mind before intercourse. Exciting the mind helps the release some juices around your vaginal walls which help in easy penetration. Foreplay is necessary both for mental stimulation as well as for biological reasons. Trying to insert into a dry vaginal wall will not give any pleasure but will only result in tearing of the vaginal walls and subsequent hurt and pain. For reducing pain during having sex for the first time, both the male and the female should engage in sex talk to excite each other. Things like, 'I like it when you do this or I love it when you touch me here' are very sexually exciting. Foreplay also enhances your sexual experience and makes the entire act more pleasurable. It is a way to get your body ready for intercourse. It is also a part of the intimate time you spend with someone otherwise sex would only be a 2-3 minute affair with the male inserting inside, releasing himself and thats it!
5. Find a comfortable place for sex
For a male and female looking to lose their virginity for the very first time, any hidden place is alright. But that is a bad idea. For those who want to engage in a first time sex, a comfortable place is very necessary. A bed or a mattress helps to minimize the discomfort. You can also try and place a pillow below your hips to allow easy penetration. Also look for a place that is peaceful. For a male and female having sex for the very first time, make sure that you do not get disturbed by outside noises or people. You both have to feel comfortable both mentally and physically to enjoy sex.
6. Remember, everyone's experience is different
Do not get carried away by the tales of your friends about their first time sex. Everyone's experience is different. Some enjoy it the very first time they lose their virginity while some only feel pain and discomfort while having sex for the first time. You can take clues from them about what hurt and what not, but remember yours is going to be a totally different experience altogether.
7. Take it slow
Even if you could not have a successful intercourse the very first time, it is ok. Your vaginal walls and entire groin area might ache badly with trying and so it is ok if you and your partner relax for some time and try again after some time. Take it slow the very first time and remember it is not necessary to do it successfully the very first time. Sometimes, the vaginal walls are very tight and it may take some time before they loosen and become more elastic. Sex has to be enjoyed and you do not take it as an agenda to accomplish successfully. If you do not lose your virginity today, you will eventually. Do not panic and try these tips in reducing pain.
8. Experiment with different positions
Sometimes, if there is pain and discomfort in one position, another position might help. Different positions like woman on top, missionary, etc, might actually help in reducing pain. You can try the missionary position but if the female is very uncomfortable then you can switch on to the woman on top position. Just because one position hurt a lot, it is not necessary that all positions will hurt. The missionary position gives G-spot stimulation, the woman on top position gives more clitoral stimulation while the doggie style gives deeper insertion. See whichever position least hurts the female. Basically for first timers, the missionary position hurts the least. It also gives more emotional connect to the partners and they can also communicate easily while having sex. The first time sex experience should be beautiful and passionate. You can try various other positions much later when you have mastered the art of making love.
Last but not the least, sex is beautiful. While there are a few ways of reducing pain for those who are going to be engaged in first time sex, the females can be prepared that a little discomfort is inevitable while losing their virginity for the very first time. Scientifically if you look at it, there is always some discomfort for the first time and only then does it become more elastic. It is like a rubber band which is very tight in the beginning but it eventually loosens just a bit for you to be able to stretch it.
So, enjoy your first time sexual experience. Read about it a lot as there is no harm in being informed and prepared for it. Carry some lubricating oil and condoms in your bag always. And remember not to engage in sex just because you want to be in sync with your friends who have all lost their virginity. At least make sure that the person with whom you are going to have sex is a nice guy. Make your first experience a memorable one and try to have your first sex with someone you love as the memory lasts forever.