Getting Women from First Date to the Second Date
A first date is intimidating enough without the pressure of thinking about where the relationship might go from there. If the guy you’ve been flirting with seems like he might be perfect to cuddle with in winter, here are some tips for getting from the first date to the second date. Follow this advice, and a second date is pretty much guaranteed.
Dress to impress your first date
A first date is kind of like a job interview. You wouldn’t show up to an interview in sweats and a hoodie; would you girls? You’re kind of interviewing for the position of girlfriend, just like he’s interviewing for the position of boyfriend. You want to dress like you want the job! Some ideas: dress depending on where you’re going. A fancy restaurant warrants a dress. If it’s something more casual, nice jeans and a super cute top are perfect! Definitely consider the atmosphere when you’re picking your outfit. Plus, it’s a great conversation-starter when he compliments how nice you look!
This road goes both ways, girls. You want him to compliment your winter coat, of course, but it doesn’t hurt to tell him you like what he’s wearing too! If he was the one who came up with the first date plan, compliment him on that too. It seems like women forget that they’re allowed to give out compliments as much as they’re allowed to receive them. Don’t be shy with letting him know he’s awesome, especially if you have ideas for a second date brewing.
Plan some conversations ahead of time
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This is where online dating will really help you get some ideas. When you start flirting over text or your favorite online dating app, you already have some ideas as to the kinds of things he likes. Use these to steer the conversation away from any lulls. Don’t bring note cards with topic suggestions, but look up some tips for keeping the conversation flowing so that your date never gets boring. Some good advice would be to have a few conversation ideas based on things you’ve talked about before via text. If you’re not sure what he likes yet, talk about the newest films in theaters to get things going. And don’t fret if you never get to use your conversation starters; if the conversation is already going well without any pre-planned ideas, you’re off to a great start!
Women can ask questions, too
Five minutes into the date he’s probably already asked you a bunch of get-to-know-you questions. Women tend to be on the answering side of questions a lot of the time. Some advice: fire those questions right back at him! Not only that, but come up with a few of your own. These can be a part of your planned ahead ideas, or new things you come up with as you sit down to eat. Ask him what his favorite food is or if he’s ever been to the restaurant before. If he has, what does he suggest you eat? Asking questions let him know you’re not just there for the food. Some advice, though: it’s not an interrogation. Don’t let the question asking dominate the conversation.
Make sure he knows you're interested
There won’t be a second date if he thinks you’re totally bored by the first date. Some tips for letting him know you’re interested: ask questions, of course. Go beyond favorite foods and ask about his family and friends. Also, maintain eye contact. React to the things he says so he knows you’re listening to him. Laugh at his jokes (if they’re funny). If it’s an online dating relationship going to real life, make that interest known early on. Flirting over text isn’t easy, but it’ll let him know you want more than just the first date with him. One more piece of advice: take the flirting beyond just text. Flirting while you’re on your first date is just as important to make him know you’re interested!
Take the lead in planning your first date
Whether it be planning your date in the online dating app, in person, or over text: be a part of it, girls! Women can do the asking and the planning when it comes to dating. If it’s winter, suggest going ice skating and enjoying some cocoa. Drive around looking at all the houses lit up with lights. In summer, ask to sit outside on the patio if it’s an option. Guys like it when women take the lead because it shows they’re putting in an effort, which then means she’s interested. Some other advice would be to instigate the second date conversation. You’re allowed to ask him out, too!
Be on time
Just like when it comes to that job interview mentioned earlier, you want to be on time for your date. Things happen, of course, and if you do realize you’re going to be late, just let him know! Don’t keep him waiting, wondering where you are. Tips for being on time: plan everything out to arrive wherever you’re meeting twenty minutes early. That way if something minor comes up, you have a little bit of leeway. Also, keep the primping to a minimum. Women like to look good, and men like when women look good, but it’s not worth being late over. Plan your makeup and outfit out beforehand so you don’t have to worry!
Don't be distracted
Girls: put your phone away. Your best friend does not need a play by play of your date! You can fill them in on everything after. Encourage him to keep his phone away, too. This is a first date and you’re trying to get to know each other! There’s only so much you can learn from an online dating profile, so now is the time to learn the real life aspects of someone. If you don’t have that online dating profile to mentally look back to for any mutual interests, it’s even more important to put your phone away and give him your full attention. The only way to get to know someone is to talk to them, and it’s hard to do that when you’re glancing down at your phone every two seconds. Paying attention to him and not your phone is a good way to make him want a second date.
Remember women, confidence is sexy
Show up to that date with your head held high. Order whatever you want from the menu, no matter what he might think. Up your flirting game with some longing looks and the occasional arm touch. Go beyond just taking control – let him know that you are totally cool, calm, and collected. You know what you want and you will do whatever it takes to get it. Confidence is sexy and he’ll love that you’re not afraid to be up front.
Beyond confidence, be yourself
If you snort when you laugh, don’t hold back from laughing. If you’re looking to make it past the first date, the best tips are confidence and being yourself. He’s going to find out your quirks eventually, so don’t bother trying to hide them. You can leave a little up to the imagination for now, but don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You want him to fall for you hard enough to start a real relationship. That won’t work if you create a false persona. Think of it as preparing for a long term relationship, not just a winter fling. You can’t build a relationship on a lie. Snort; laugh away, girls!
Don't try to be funny if you're not funny
Women, don’t open up your date with a knock-knock joke unless it’s the most hilarious joke you have ever heard. If you aren’t funny, don’t try to force being funny. On the other hand, if you are funny, let the humor flow. The point is, don’t try too hard to impress him with your humor unless you know you can. Guys like funny girls, but it’s not going to be a deal breaker if you’re not a stand-up comedian. What might be a deal breaker is if you try to make jokes that just don’t land. Tips: let the funny flow naturally. Don’t Google “jokes to tell on a date” because they probably won’t be funny and he’ll just think it’s weird. Definitely laugh if you think he’s funny, though. Humor is a great way to break the ice on a date, as long as it isn’t totally forced!
Women, you can offer to split the check!
It’s a new day and age where women should be able to offer to pay half of the check when they’re out on a date. If he’s totally against the idea, girls, you can let him take the bill. Just offer to pay next time! You don’t have to push the issue if it seems like it really bothers him, but he’ll probably appreciate that you offered to split it at all. Plus, if he doesn’t want to split it this time, saying it’s on you next time is a great way to drop a hint that you’re interested in going out again.
Be kind to the staff
There is nothing more unattractive than someone who is rude to the staff at a restaurant, or wherever your date is being held. Thank the hostess for seating you and be nice to the waiter. How you treat the restaurant staff is a pretty good sign of who you are as a person, and no one wants to date the girl who yells at the waiter. If there is a problem with your order, mention it calmly to the waiter. Your date will appreciate that you didn’t flip your lid over a medium rare burger that should’ve been medium well. Also, make sure he tips! Or, if you do decide to split the check, split the tip, too.
Do Not Bring Up Your Ex
The date is going really well. You haven’t needed any of your conversation starters and you’re both super into each other. This is it, girls! You’re definitely going to get your second date. But then the dessert menu comes and he says he wants the chocolate cake. You look at him funny and he asks what’s wrong. You say that your ex-boyfriend hated chocolate. Sirens go off in his head. If you’re lucky, he’ll decide to still go for dessert, but you probably won’t get that second date anymore because in his mind you’re still hung up enough on your ex to mention him while on a date with a new guy. If he mentioned the girl he dated last winter, you’d run away, too. Bringing up your ex when you’re on a date with someone else is never a good look and should be avoided at all costs. If you want a second date, definitely don’t mention your ex on the first date. Or any date, for that matter.
Get ahead of yourself, but not too far
Drop hints during dinner that you’d be interested in seeing him again. Mention that you’ve been dying to see this new movie or that a band you really like is coming to town soon. If you really think the date is going well, ask if he would want to do something in the future. Don’t start planning out a million dates, though. You may want to make plans for the second date and maybe even the third, but see how those go before you have your entire winter planned out around what the two of you are going to do together.
Don’t play games with him
If you make it clear during dinner that you’re interested in seeing him again, don’t play hard to get. Saying no to the second date the first time he asks isn’t cute, it sends the message that you don’t want to go out. Ignoring his texts for days or refusing to text until he texts first? Girls, you can instigate things! Send him a good morning text before he gets to chance to do it. Ask him out. But definitely don’t play games with him. If you realize you’re not interested, then don’t keep dating him. If you do like him, though, make sure he knows it or you’re going to lose him pretty quickly!
Don't force it
You’re not required to want a second date. If things aren’t progressing smoothly on the first date, don’t force the second one. It is okay to end things after the first date if you don’t think it’s going well! But if you hit it off, then don’t hesitate to make sure he knows you want to keep things going.
Don't go into date #1 expecting date #2
Let things progress naturally! You don’t have to show up to dinner expecting that he’s going to ask you to go out again. It’s not a guarantee, and you have to both make things work during the first date in order to even get to the second date. If you go into the first date thinking date number two is guaranteed, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You won’t be as on your game if you don’t think you have to put in the work to keep going out! Go in with confidence, of course, but remember all of these tips to help ensure you really do get that second date.
Only go for the first date kiss if it feels right
There is no rule, written or unwritten, that says the first date has to end with a kiss. Or that the date can’t end with a kiss. If you’re both feeling it and you’ve totally hit it off, definitely kiss him! But if things are a little awkward still, save it for date number two. It would be way worse to kiss him when you’re not feeling it than to part ways before the awkwardness gets worse. And just because you didn’t kiss him doesn’t mean you won’t get that second date! But kissing him when it doesn’t feel right? That’ll pretty much crush your second date chances. Oh, and going beyond kissing? Pretty much a no-go for any first date! There’s no way you hit it off that well after one dinner. Save the bed for a few dates down the line.
Make sure your schedule is open
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If you don’t have time to date, don’t date! The worst thing would be for him to suggest a second date at dinner only to find out your next opening is in six months. If you’re hoping to date this guy regularly, make sure you have the time to do so. You won’t get a second date if you can’t make the time to actually go out!
Turn that first date into a second date!
It isn’t easy to get out on the dating scene. Whether you’re trying online dating or doing things the old fashioned way, you have to make sure your first date goes well or you'll never get a relationship. Use these tips to help you have an awesome first date that turns into an awesome second date.