LAUGHTER BONDS US
So you have decided it’s time to try and step up your game when it comes to flirting with the girls. However, it’s not a secret that girls have a reputation of being complicated. They are thought to be impulsive, unsure of what they want and hard to read. The truth is that what they really want is what everyone else wants, and that is to be understood and loved for who they are. The best way for girls to open up to you is to make them laugh. Also, it’s common knowledge that one of the first signs that the girl likes you is if she laughs at your jokes. Not only that, but laughter releases all kinds of positive hormones like endorphins, that relieve pain, stress and are, over all, mood elevators.
BEING FUNNY CAN BE TAUGHT
Unfortunately, not every man is funny by nature, and that’s okay too. The good news is that anyone can become the king of comedy if they really want to. It’s maybe not as easy as learning a short joke by heart, but if you follow a few steps, you may unlock a new trait of your personality. As anything else in life, in order for it to work, you have to make up your mind and make it your goal.
PICK THE GIRL THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH
The best place to start practicing being able to make a girl laugh is by agreeing to choose the girl that will make all your trouble worth it. Even though you will have to practice on some of them, just the fact that you really like the girl you’re approaching, whether in person or just by text, will make you more motivated to learn and evolve. Ideally, the best choice would be a girl that makes you laugh yourself, because this way, she will give you more opportunity to bounce off her with some of your own jokes. Although it is true that practice makes perfect, above all, choose the girl that you really feel you might have a connection with. There is no point in sweating over someone you don’t really care about, as this might demotivate you from stepping up your game.
EVERY ARTIST NEEDS A MUSE
"When I made the plan to travel around the globe for a year it was supposed to just be me, myself, and I. I had every intention of traveling alone and getting lost in the world. Then Zach came along 24 hours into my journey. My first stop was in Massachusetts to visit my best friend and that's where I met Zach. We were at a mutual friend's house party. Later that evening, we shared our first kiss and the next morning Zach told me he wanted to come with me. So after only 24 hours of being together, we made the decision to travel the world together. He quit his job and booked a plane ticket to Paris to join me on this adventure. It might sound crazy but isn't that what life is all about? Taking risks, falling in love, and enjoying the ride? (📸: @ariel.ariphotography )
If you are approaching a girl you’ve never met before, via text or social media for example, take things slowly instead of startling the girl with an immediate pre-prepared joke. Look for what inspires you in her, whether it’s her hobbies, her good looks, the way she behaves, or anything else. It’s okay to get a feeling of the person first, before you make your next move.
MAKE YOURSELF FEEL RELAXED
Everybody has insecurities. Even the prettiest girl in the world thinks badly of something about her. Focusing on what you think might be your weakness will just make you nervous and unable to focus on the goal, and that is to make the girl fall for you. Some people have a tendency of letting out a nervous laughter in situations where they feel uncomfortable. Although sometimes it may seem cute, and shy guys have their own charm to them that attracts girls, it’s still better to come off as confident instead of insecure.
YOU ARE ENOUGH
One way to relax is to focus on your strengths. There must be things you love about yourself and if you feel unsure about the subject, just ask someone close to you what they think those are. You might be good at certain sports, or have rare hobbies, or just like the way your hair looks. Also, tell yourself it’s okay if you fail when trying to get the girl - failing is also a way of learning. Think of the things you love and are good at and make them your weapons.
LAUGH ABOUT MODEST THINGS
Coming off as confident is what you should strive to do, but, as with anything, you have to be careful not to overdo it and seem too cocky or full of yourself. Bragging about something or doing just the opposite, shaming things that have to do with wealth, may not come of as funny or worthy a laugh. Just have in mind to be modest.
DON’T TRY HARD TO IMPRESS THE GIRL
Although you should care, don’t try too hard to impress the girl and make her laugh for whatever reason. This mistake can be easily made if you’re pretending to be all brave and cocky through texting, as it is easy to hide behind a nickname and written words or images. It then looks even worse if you're shy in person as it might make you seem like you’re pretending to be something you’re not.
MAKE THE GIRL FEEL RELAXED
As mentioned before when it comes to insecurities, even though you might think you’re the only one feeling anxious when it comes to flirting, the truth is, so are the girls. That is why the last thing you want to do is to make the girl feel uncomfortable, as it will be that much harder for her to laugh at your jokes.
MAKE A NOTE OF WHAT THE GIRL IS TELLING YOU
The best way to create a humorous atmosphere where it’s easy for both of you to laugh is to pick up on something the girl would be interested in. Maybe you’re together at a party that is a bit different from what you’re used to - draw comedy from the situation around you. It might be the place you’re in (that reminds you of something funny) or your common friend might be behaving in a funny way. Maybe the girl is not in the best mood in the beginning and you can ask her why she’s feeling that way to draw a funny solution to her problem that you can both laugh about. Maybe it’s the particular way the girl is texting or even the way she looks and behaves. That being said, don’t make fun of the girl, just think of a witty comment she could relate to.
FUN IS ALL AROUND
"I had recently gotten out of a relationship after I found out my ex was cheating on me. I met Ashley shortly after that and now it finally makes sense why it never worked out with anyone else. At the time, I was traveling to New York City every week for work and always stayed at the W Hotel in Times Square. I thought it would be just another routine trip, but I was definitely wrong. It was the weekend that changed everything. When I entered the lobby of the hotel, I noticed how busy it was. There was a long line to check in and I was beginning to feel rather impatient. When I finally made it to the front, I started talking to the booking agent and we ended up having a random 10 minute conversation about Coachella. Then she gave me my key and I headed up to my room to change. After getting to my room, I began to think about how cute and friendly the desk agent was. I knew I had been restless before while waiting and should have made more of an effort. I decided to go back downstairs to try and redeem myself. I was concocting a plan in my head to smoothly hit on her, but eventually just walked right up to the front desk and blurted out, "So are you allowed to give me your number?" She laughed and wrote it down for me. We went on a date the following night. Fast forward to a year later, everything came full circle when Ashley and I went to Coachella together. It was what our first conversation was about and now we were there as a couple. It was surreal. So much has changed since then, including me landing a job in Manhattan where we both now live. Ashley has taught me that a real relationship is not about what everyone else thinks it should be, but what makes you happy. It is an understatement every day when I tell her that I love her."
Just as mentioned above, even if you don’t know much about the girl you’re trying to make laugh, you can draw comedy from your surroundings or something you’re both immersed in. It can be where you both are finding yourselves, the social media you are texting through or even the current events of the world and common knowledge trivia. If you're planning a date with the girl, it makes things even easier as you can choose spots that are made for having fun, like festivals, fairs of all sorts, or just a good old comedy screening at the nearest cinema.
EVERY SITUATION CAN BE FUNNY
Try to be respectful, of course, but every situation you find yourself in can be funny. Maybe you are at a serious class together, or a meeting, or are just witnessing something interesting happen. Think about the detail that makes the situation special, like, for example, a yoga instructor that looks like he’s in a really bad mood even though he should be relaxed.
DON’T LEARN JOKES BY HEART
The worst thing you can do when trying to get a girl to laugh is to come prepared with a stack of jokes you’ve learned by heart, especially if they are some that have already become common knowledge. Also, remember that girls are used to hearing all sorts of pick-up lines, so even the wittiest line can seem forced and not creative at all.
BUT STILL BE PREPARED TO MAKE HER LAUGH
All that said, you can still come prepared. Online research is great to give you some inspiration, and think about what makes you special, to draw comedy from that. Prepare some lines you feel comfortable saying and that won’t make you seem too cheesy. You want the girl to laugh with you, not laugh at you.
MAKE SMART REFERENCES
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Referencing can be a great tool to spread laughter and comedy in situations where you need to break the ice, for example, or comment on something funny happening around you. Be careful, however, as not everyone has watched the same films or listened to the same music, so if you are choosing to make a joke about something you find amusing, the girl you're trying to make laugh might think it’s anything but that.
LAUGH AT COMMON KNOWLEDGE
Sticking to common knowledge, on the other hand, can be a great ice-breaker. Not only will you be playing it safe, but it will also be an opportunity to teach the girl something new in case she missed a well-known joke. ‘’Paint me like one of your French girls’’, a popular meme, is a good example. If the girl hasn’t seen Titanic, you can offer to take her to the film afterwards or just show her the clip from the movie.
RESPECT THE GIRL AND OTHERS
Even if you decide to skip on all the other advice from this text, make sure you are at least being respectful. Don’t make your jokes clearly sexual, don’t make inappropriate things seem funny and don’t laugh at disabilities or disadvantages. It’s one thing to come off as confident, as said before, but being rude will not get you anywhere.
THERE IS A THIN LINE BETWEEN TEASING AND OFFENDING
Teasing, on the other hand, can be a great tool to create a funny situation you can both laugh about. Just be careful not to focus on something the girl can’t change, like anything having to do with physical appearance. Take hint from her behaviour or her character traits, and use teasing as an ice-breaker for you to start off a deeper conversation with the girl.
THROUGH SARCASM TO LAUGHTER?
There is some truth in the fact that girls like mysterious guys who hide their true feelings behind sarcasm, but overdoing it can make you seem unfriendly and just generally unhappy. As you need a positive atmosphere to create laughter, be careful of the amount of sarcasm you use.
GIRLS LIKE INTELLIGENT MEN
When used correctly, sarcasm is a method that can be helpful to show off your intelligence. Always be to the point and combine it with teasing to relax the atmosphere. As with anything else, don’t force it, and don’t put on a show that is too serious, as it might scare the girl and make her feel like screaming rather than laughing.
MAKE THE 21st CENTURY WORK FOR YOU
It might happen that even though you try and you practice, you realize you're not the guy that can easily make someone else laugh in person, let alone impress a girl and make her fall for you through laughter. That’s okay, too. There are other ways to show off your charms, like through social media, for example, and the endless pool of shareable content. Sometimes a real laughter can be replaced with LOLs, and that’s okay, too.
YOU AND THE GIRL CAN LAUGH AT SOMETHING FUNNY
Find out what is the girl’s preferred means of communication. Maybe she likes to text via different texting apps? There are plenty of jokes you can create using emojis, like a simple guessing game. You can also send her memes or fun video clips that are trending on the Internet. Play with Instagram (there are plenty of ‘’double tap’’ tricks there), search on YouTube or even discover groups on Facebook that are hilarious. Even if you're not funny yourself, you and the girl can both laugh at something funny.
FUN CAN BE FUNNY
Obviously, positive atmosphere creates positive, relaxing energy. It’s easier to laugh when you’re having fun, so create such circumstances that will make you and the girl feel cheerful. You can take the girl on a fun date, for example, and so create an inspirational surrounding for you both to laugh about something together.
"I came to New York to get my masters in creative writing. Matt was a personal trainer studying for his doctorate in Chinese Medicine. After running two marathons, I experienced severe back pain that turned into chronic pain lasting a year. I saw countless doctors with varying opinions, like ‘physical therapy,’ ‘yoga,’ and, ‘maybe surgery’. None of them knew what was wrong. Acupuncture was on a list of last resorts. Through a partnership with Matt's school, my school offered five free sessions, so I tried it on a whim. The moment Matt and I locked eyes, my path was altered forever. (His last name is Tolstoy to boot!) He didn't ask me out. He was very professional. On my last session, I asked how old he was. He said he'd be 29 the following week, but that he wasn't celebrating because he had to study. At the insistence of my enthusiastic stepmother, I sent him an email. "You should come to dinner for your birthday," I wrote. "(With me)." He didn't respond for two days. Finally, I got a note. "I'd love to go to dinner (with you)." After a whirlwind summer romance and some of the happiest memories of my life, I changed my plans to leave NYC once I graduated. Now, we're traveling to China to celebrate both of our graduations and moving in together this summer. Although my physical injuries haven't healed entirely, I've learned to listen to my body and to follow my heart. I'm grateful for the way my body led me to the man of my dreams."
BECAUSE GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!
If there are already smiles on the faces of both of you and the girl, it will be so much easier to bring it to another level and make her laugh. For example, if one of you is into yoga and the other has never done anything similar. Such occasion can be a perfect template for some teasing.
TELL THE GIRL A FUNNY STORY
If you feel stuck or just uninspired, you can always think of a story to tell, as long as it’s something you’re not making up at the spot. Improvising can make you seem deceiving. There must be plenty of stories you can share, that happened either to you, someone you know, or that you got from somewhere else. Again, you can come prepared with a few anecdotes.
JUST LAUGH AT LIFE
Think of something funny that has happened in your life, or that you know of, and try to relate it to a situation you and the girl are both finding yourself in at the same time. For example, if you are both standing in a long line to the cinema, you can tell the girl a story of how, one time, your friend has pretended to be pregnant just to be able to skip the line.
GOOFING AROUND IS OKAY
Goofing around is also a fun way to attract attention, as physical comedy is something most people can easily relate to and just instinctively laugh about. Just be careful to stay respectful as mentioned before.
FUN VS. FUNNY
Even if you find yourself in surroundings that are not particularly fun, a funny movement, gesture, or act can create a fun atmosphere and thus cause laughter. Again, don't pretend to be Charlie Chaplin all of a sudden or turn to childlike aggression, just think of a move that references something funny or teases the girl in the given situation.
DON’T HIDE IN A GROUP
A lot of the time, boys turn to their friends to help them relax and create a fun environment for a little bit of comedy to take place.
BRING ATTENTION TO YOURSELF
Although it’s always more fun to be in a group, if you hide behind your friends, you are drawing attention from yourself instead of to. You would want to avoid having to compete for the clown-of-the-day position with your friend, so be brave and separate yourself from the crew when trying to impress a girl.The last thing you want is for her to laugh at your friend’s jokes more than at yours.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
"The first time I saw Eric was at LAX airport. I was heading home to Austin to visit family for the holidays. Eric happened to be on the same flight. We made eye contact a few times while standing in the security line, waiting at the gate, and boarding the plane. When I arrived in Austin, my mom met me at baggage claim to help me with my suitcase. She spotted Eric across the way and blurts out, "Did you talk to him?" "No mom," I snapped back, "And he can more than likely hear you." A week later, the holidays were over, and it was time to head back to LA. The morning of my flight I was so hungover. If it wasn't for my mom pulling me out of bed and racing me to the airport, I probably would have missed my flight. After dragging myself through security at the rate of a sloth, I grabbed a $20 Smartwater in an attempt to rehydrate and then plopped down at my gate. When I looked up, I noticed Eric sitting directly across from me. I was shocked! What are the chances?? He quickly recognized me from our flight the week prior, and asked me how my trip was. We continued chatting until it was time to board. When we landed back in LA, he offered to give me a ride home. Even though he lived in Venice and I lived all the way in Hollywood, he insisted on taking me. We ended up grabbing dinner that night before he dropped me off. The next day we went to the movies, and the day after that we spent New Year's Eve together. Four years later, we've acquired a quirky Golden Retriever named Charlie and share a place together in Venice."
Making another person laugh is a special skill in itself, and it is not an easy one, although it may seem that some people are born with it. As with anything in life, it takes time and a lot of practice to learn a new skill and be confident using it. Think of all the things in life you've learned and how they've made you stronger and a better person.
DON’T GIVE UP
The truth is that practice makes perfect in all cases in life. Be prepared to fail, to make a fool of yourself even, but be sure that the more you practice, the easier it will be for you to make the girl laugh and notice you. Also, bare in mind the fact that laughter causes more laughter, so it is really important to just kick the first one off, and be sure that more will come. Every beginning is difficult, but once you master this skill, you will find it easy to manipulate it however you please while feeling more sure about yourself.