How To Be More Outgoing - In 10 Simple Steps

As much as having a social life is such a natural thing for human beings, let's admit that not everyone has it because if it is so, loneliness would not even exist, right? So concluding from that, are you one of those introverted people who find it difficult to make friends? Are you the type who thinks it's a big deal to attend parties or hang-outs? Do you rehearse conversations so you won't make yourself sound ridiculous? Or, did you just totally give up on your dream of becoming more outgoing and having a healthy social life? We tend to feel envious towards those who make friends easily and we ask ourselves why it is so difficult for us. But actually, you do not have to sweat it because there are people who are just naturally outgoing and confident and maybe you just belong to the group who has to practice a bit. If you currently do not know what to do, keep in mind that it is not entirely impossible to attain a healthy social life. The key is just really all about gaining self-confidence and once you've mastered it, the rest will go smoothly.

Just a quick reminder before we list down the steps: These are easier said than done. If you are an introvert, greetings of "hi" and "hellos" are probably already a challenge. So, if you are really determined to better your social life; you must have patience, you must be willing to take risks, and you have to have motivation. Furthermore, negativity will be your biggest enemy to become more outgoing, so it is a must to practice to be optimistic in whatever situation you get yourself into. You have to understand that once you go through the process, you have to keep it going otherwise, you'll find yourself back to zero. Now if you are ready to be that talkative, a little outspoken, and outgoing with confidence type of person, keep reading and find out the 10 steps that will save your unhealthy social life.

Before thinking about going out there, the most important thing you should do is to study yourself. Know the skills you are good at. If you are good at art, then try to improve it by making art when you have the free time; if you are good at music, make spare time to practice on playing an instrument. Why do you have to do this? By improving yourself, you unconsciously gain self-confidence. The skills and talents you have will be your instrument to show people who you are. However, do not focus only on your positive side. It is actually more important to know the side of yours which you are uncomfortable with. As an example: Perhaps, you are bothered by being a plus-sized person, or you are not too confident about your complexion. Maybe you are not comfortable with your overall physical appearance and that hinders you from becoming more outgoing. If this is the case, this is bad news for you. Keep in mind that you have to fully accept yourself before expecting other people to do so. The biggest confidence you will attain will come from yourself. If other people see how you value yourself, you will be surprised how other people will come to you to get to know you instead of trying to fit in yourself.

It is important to fully accept everything about you, but it's understandable that it is not always easy. If you have anxiety, your thoughts will hinder you from doing so. There are other easier ways to feel confident and become more outgoing. One thing is your hygiene. It is easier to confidently face other people when you know you look clean. Always take a bath so you won't smell, you can use a clean-smelling perfume or deodorant after every shower too. Brush your teeth every after every meal so whenever you find yourself engaged in a conversation, the person you're talking to won't have to know what you had for lunch. Always look your best by wearing clean, ironed clothes and remember that bright colors attract positivity. Another thing is your attitude. People decide whether to approach you or not by studying your gestures. They will back off if they see that you easily lose your temper when something goes wrong. They will not think about having a conversation with you if you always see things negatively. People will not want to have anything to do with you if you frown at almost everything. As much as possible, always wear a smile. When things are going the opposite way; you still need to be positive.

If you are an introvert and you’re suffering from anxiety, you probably have thoughts to yourself of your limitations regarding socializing. If you believe that you are not good at talking with other people, it will result in you not engaging yourself in conversations at all. If you think that people will not like you, you will not ever try to make friends. If you constantly say to yourself that you can never be more outgoing, then you will never be more outgoing. This attitude is a big NO if you want to improve your social life. Being pessimistic will be the biggest hindrance for you to become more outgoing. Yes, you should expect that not all people will like you. But, that's part of being an outgoing person. After all, you could never please everyone.

Remember that socializing doesn't have only two results—people will like you and people will not like you—it will only make you more engaging and friendlier. You don't have to be the center of attention when you socialize if that's what you are anxious about; you don’t have to be talkative if you really don’t want to, being casual is enough. You just have to think that you're only helping yourself to be more active in front of peers. Also, you are probably afraid of saying the wrong things when you talk to people. Of course, everybody feels that. The tendency is you practicing too much in conversing to impress these people. Unfortunately, it's not actually always effective, rather it will stress you out, causing you to stutter more. Allow yourself to commit mistakes and do not stress about socializing too much but then, do not be too outspoken either. Forget about "what if" questions and get out there and be natural.

If you want to become more confident and outgoing, you should not be choosy when it comes to people that you socialize with. Often, when we talk about socializing, we only think about attending parties, going out with friends, and the like; while in reality, everything we do involves talking to people. You don't have to engage yourself in deep, meaningful conversations so that you can be able to say that you have a healthy social life. Acknowledging people around you is enough—saying "thank you" to the grocery clerk who assisted you, greeting and complimenting your neighbor, or even smiling at random people who pass by. By doing this, you are not only trying to interact, but you could be making other people's day as well by your kind gestures. We tend to forget about the people we mingle with every day because of the belief that socializing only involves friends. But in reality, the best way to start becoming more outgoing is to recognize the people around you that you usually take for granted. Know that even members of your family can help you to get used to interacting because they're supposed to be the closest people to us. Do not hold back -- talk to your parents when you are troubled or do not be hesitant to share your worries and happiness with your siblings. When you get used to being open with them, eventually, you will learn to reach out to other people as well.

If you are trying to become more outgoing, you have to nail your first impression on the people you meet. So, how will you do that? The word is "positivity". Let go of your negative thoughts. Believe it or not, human beings have this instinct of knowing immediately if you are a negative person. Besides, it shows in the gestures and attitude you are showing them. When you bump into an acquaintance, never fail to greet them even though you are not really close with each other—you don't even have to say "hello" if you really don't want to, just raise your eyebrows and smile enthusiastically. If you are feeling really social, you could initiate a conversation by asking them how their day was.

When you greet someone new, try to be the listener instead of the talker. Avoid showing boredom and avoid frowning as this will easily be spotted by the person you're talking to. They will get the impression that you are not interested to interact with them at all, and as a result, they will never try to approach you again. A smile will be your best weapon to achieve a healthy social life. When other people see that you are radiant, they will be the ones to come to you to make friends.

To become more confident and outgoing, an essential thing you need is the people around you. Make it a habit to meet a new friend every week—this new person could help you achieve your goal of having an active social life because he/she can introduce you to a lot of other people. Most introverts would probably question this advice. It is easy to tell someone to make friends but it is not easy to do it, right? Especially if you have anxiety that keeps telling you that you're not good enough for people. Just keep in mind that there are a lot nicer people than bad ones and that people always want to make new friends. You don't even have to be chatty if you are not really a talkative person, a simple greeting of "hello" will do and you'll be surprised how the interaction will flow smoothly. Ask questions such as, "where are you from?", "what are your hobbies?", "are you interested in...?", or you can even talk about the weather. Human beings are social animals; it is only your anxiety that keeps telling you that people don't want to talk to you.

There is probably a reason why some people are afraid of socializing. You have to know your reason; you have to find out what keeps you from meeting people. Maybe it has something to do with a past experience with peers—you were left alone for being too outspoken, somebody got annoyed at you for being too talkative, or maybe your most embarrassing moment involves socializing. If you experienced being rejected because you were overdoing your socializing, then you could try to be more casual. If you feel that there is a specific thing in your socializing ways that make people uncomfortable, maybe you could change it. Of course, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are the one who always has to adjust just so you can have a social life, but being aware that identifying your source of discomfort may help you to find much more effective ways to interact.

Human beings are social animals, so once we get too comfortable in a conversation we are engaged in, we tend to forget about the person we are talking to, and we become too talkative. Yes, it is a nice feeling to have someone you can share the events of your life with but never forget to balance. When you are conversing, do not hog the limelight. Give the person you are talking with the chance to speak as well. Also, be sensitive—disagreements are inevitable in a conversation but you must not be too outspoken as you might offend the other party. You know you can always give your piece of mind nicely. To have a balanced conversation, always end your part with a question that would give the other party a chance to speak their side. Use questions or phrases that have "you" in it instead of "I". Use "did you have a good time?" instead of "I've had a good time". If you can, try to find if you and the other person have common interests. Because if it is so, you will find it more comfortable to interact because the things you can talk about would be endless. However, do not be talkative too much.

As an introvert, turning down invitations is probably not a new thing to you anymore. If you’ll think about it, there would be a lot of people there that you wouldn’t know thus, expecting you should meet them; thinking about the socializing you’re supposed to do triggers your anxiety, and you’ll have to fake a smile or two. However, this is thinking negatively and this would not at all help you to become more outgoing. Instead of fearing such things, treat it as an opportunity to make new friends. Besides, you know inside yourself that your “no” doesn’t always mean no. You still feel the desire to experience social life. Sometimes, you have to fight off anxiety and say “yes”. If you turn down invitations constantly, people will eventually get tired asking you out and you won’t want that.

Speaking from experience, I have an introvert friend who finds it difficult to socialize making him frustrated most of the time. Along with it, I noticed he’s also a bit condescending and outspoken towards happy and chatty people whom he refers to as “normies.” Later on, I found out that it’s his defense mechanism and somewhat, his denial that he’s not a social person. If you are the type of introvert who has this attitude, know that being condescending will not in any way help you to become more outgoing. Rather, it is keeping you from it. Your being condescending is the insecurity your anxiety keeps telling you that you’re not good enough, so you tend to look down on others. You have to get rid of this attitude immediately. As much as it’s your worst enemy to be more outgoing, it has also an unhealthy effect on your mentality.

If you want to become more outgoing, what better way to achieve it than to be your real you? Of course, there will be inevitable times when you have to fake reactions or give fake smiles, but most of the time, they’re only done out of being sensitive towards the people you’re mingling with and that’s okay. However, do not be too outspoken and justify it that you’re just being you. It’s different when you try to fake your personality. It’s a different story when you try too hard to make your life sounds perfect. If you’re trying to connect with people, you should not hesitate to share your downfalls with them. You should never be ashamed of the failures you've committed. Being real is being natural. Being real means you are casual. You don’t have to pretend to be talkative just so you can show them you have an active social life. Being you is when you’re trying to get out of your comfort zone to become more outgoing yet you’re being transparent and don’t pretend.