Your Go-To Guide To Learn How To Kiss Someone

Learn the intricate steps on how to kiss proper and good

By Sylvia Epie
Your Go-To Guide To Learn How To Kiss Someone

Step by Step on how to kiss someone

man and woman kissing eachther

A good kiss goes a long way in building a lasting relationship, Knowing how to kiss is always a good skill to have. Kissing someone for the first time can be a scary experience but a few guidelines will get you there. The most important aspect here is timing, be on the lookout for the perfect moment, prepare yourself. Make sure your breath is fresh, no onions or garlic smell, try not to rush anything, and when the time is right, go for it. Here’s a step by step guide to get you started on making that kiss a beautiful memory you and your partner will cherish for years to come.

How to kiss someone for the first time

Kissing someone you like for the first time is often nerve-wrecking and exciting at the same time. You can never be sure of how it will go; if it will be a sweet and memorable moment that you’ll tell your grandkids someday or a flop that will send your love interest running in the opposite direction. Though a good kiss, for the most part, depends on chemistry, there are some things you can do to increase your chances of having an epic first kiss. Here are a few pointers:

1. Set the mood

When it comes to kissing, the setting is everything, you have to set the mood. No one wants to be kissed when they’re not ready or by a person, they’re not into. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first date or you both have gone out a couple of times, never assume a kiss is welcome. The best approach is to prepare the way, start by picking a romantic spot like a rowboat under the stars, a candlelit dinner on a rooftop, or next to each other watching a romantic movie.

Don’t be afraid to go overboard a little, make your intentions clear. Your date should see it coming and understand where you’re going without you saying it out loud. Begin with a little flirting, a smile here and there, constant eye contact, a slight touch on the hand when an opportunity presents itself. If the other person flirts with you in return then you’re on the right track. 

2. Make physical contact

couple looking at each other while holding hands

After you’ve been flirting with your date for a while and they’re receptive, the next step is to move closer to them, if you are sitting side by side move closer, put your arm around the person you want to kiss. Make physical contact, touch them in a slight and non-invasive manner and watch their reaction. Brush away the person’s hair, stroke their hand with your finger, place a hand on their lap and of course keep it PG, no inappropriate touch, keep it light. If you’re lucky and they don’t pull back then they’re giving you the green light. As you start touching the person, hold his/her gaze to make your intentions are understood.

3. Go For The Kiss

Now that the mood is set, you’ve made physical contact, flirted, expressed your affection and it has been reciprocated, and you’re both full of emotion and anticipation, now is the time for the kiss. Let the kiss happen naturally, don’t overthink it or it might ruin the moment. Make eye contact, lean in slowly, then close your eyes and plant a soft kiss on your partner's lips. 

 4. Use your lips

man and woman kissing near trees

Don’t start jamming your tongue down the other person's throat, test the waters,  take it slow,  keep your lips just slightly parted, and continue kissing the person for five or ten seconds using only your lips. At this point, there’s no need to involve any tongue or teeth. No one wants a teeth frenzy or drooling during the first kiss, not to mention a jaw lock catastrophe you’ll live to remember. To be on the safe side, keep your teeth and tongue in check, use more of your lips and don’t be too pushy with them either.

5. Touch, don't grab

Use your hands, keep them active while you kiss, a good kiss has to involve your whole body not just your lips. You could spread your fingers at the back of your partner's neck, run your fingers through his/her hair or you both can lock hands while you kiss. Touch each other’s face, caress each other's neck and shoulders, whatever you're comfortable with just remember to keep everything subtle and delicate. You don't have to overdo it, just make sure your whole body is engaged at the moment to make your kiss a memorable one.

How to kiss someone passionately

low angle photograph of man and woman kissing

There’s a kiss to convey almost every emotion a person can feel, everything from a peck to a kiss on the forehead, a kiss on the cheek, and the hand right through to a passionate kiss on the lips. Whatever emotion you may be trying to communicate there’s a kiss for it, but in those moments when you’re trying to convey your passion, the intensity of your fierce and fiery feelings for someone, this is how you proceed.

1. Take it slow

To kiss passionately, don’t just jump into the kiss, take it slow, set a romantic mood and start off with a series of slow, closed-mouth kisses before gradually making your way into deeper kisses. Don’t just focus on your partner's lips, pay attention to their neck, cheeks, and chin. Breathe into your partner’s skin in order to awaken and ignite feelings of romance and sensuality.

Linger between kisses, without worrying about how long the kiss will last, take your time, a passionate kiss can make a person feel like time has stood still, so don’t worry, time is actually on your side. Always wait for your partner to reciprocate before switching things up, pauses between each kiss conveys passion. Linger between each kiss as you build up the intensity with each new kiss. Don’t forget to use your hands to make things even hotter.

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2. Stay in the moment

man and woman kissing each other while holding fireworks low-light photography

When you’re kissing someone passionately, don’t let anything distract you, if you’re thinking about something else your partner will feel it. Try as much as possible to be in the moment, just close your eyes and enjoy the feeling. To communicate passion, focus is crucial, an intimate connection has to be established for passion to be felt. 

Shut down everything happening around you, wrap yourself up in your own world and enjoy the moment to the fullest. It doesn’t matter if you’re the center of attention or there’s a display of fireworks behind you, focus on the kiss and show your partner that they have you captivated  with their kiss.

3. Be sensually aggressive

True passion is sensuous aggression, turning that sweet romantic kiss into something passionate and sexy by applying a little more pressure. Be sensually aggressive, gently bite your partner’s lower lip, pull their head backward, and give hickeys. But no matter how aggressive you get don’t get carried away and hurt your partner, keep it adventurous and enjoyable. Stick to gentle bites and light squeezes as you ease your way through passionate kisses.  

4. Keep your hands busy

couple hugging while kissing besides seashore under bridge during daytime

Imagine how awkward it will be to kiss with your hands just laying on the side, you have to make good use of your hands, maybe pull your partner closer, run your hands through their hair, caress his or her cheek and neck, or wrap your arms around your partner in intimate surrender.

Depending on the status of your relationship, put your hands on your partner's body. If it's a new romance, a first date or first kiss, do not get too enthusiastic with your hands, keep it gentle and stick to non-invasive parts of the body. But if it’s already an intimate relationship, then, by all means, feel free to explore your partner's body as you kiss them passionately. 

Kissing techniques to learn to kiss better

man kissing woman during daytime

As adults we often take kissing for granted, gone past our teenage years when it’s a big deal, it becomes just one of those things that come naturally with dating. But kissing is a great skill to master, it may seem like the least of your worries in a relationship but a good kiss could be the key to spicing up your relationship or expressing exactly what you feel to that special someone. It all starts with a good kiss and proper education on the subject is your ally. So, are you ready to find out kissing techniques you can use to your advantage? Here you go.

1. The French Kiss

The French kiss is probably the most known kissing technique of all time, but it’s not always executed properly. This kiss is a sort of dance of tongues, it’s an open-mouthed kiss in which both partners tongue mingle in a sensual and erotic expression of passion. French kissing someone is an intimate move that arouses and sets the mood for things to come.

The secret to a good french kiss is to be responsive to your partner's movements, mimic their motions, if their tongue is aggressive get aggressive too; if its meek tone it down too. Remember that the mouth is filled with some of our most sensitive nerve endings that engage all the five senses, so you’re in for a treat.

2. A Triangle Kiss

man and woman sitting on bed

This kissing technique requires you to kiss your partner in three different places: the cheeks, neck, and lips forming a triangle. Start by kissing your partner on the lips as you normally do, then slowly move from the lips to kissing the cheek, after that transition to the neck and then move back to the lips, forming a triangle of hot kisses.

Make your kisses slow and steady as you make your way around the triangle; if you’re lucky you could find one of your partner's sensitive spots on your way and this will be all the more rewarding. With this type of kiss make sure you don’t change spots abruptly, create a pattern moving from one spot to the next in natural movements.

3. Butterfly Kiss

The butterfly kiss is a sweet, soft and feather-like touch that carries a whole lot of emotion, instead of brushing off the lips, this type involves a kiss between eyelashes, YES! You heard right, eyelashes. Wanna know how this works? Here you go:

When you move close to your partner to share a kiss, let your eyelashes touch their eyes and as you kiss, bat your eyelashes on your partner's eyes, it works like magic. You could also blink your lashes on your partner's cheek, it feels like a butterfly fluttering its wings, it creates a sudden surge of tenderness and the sensation is simply amazing.

4. Spiderman Kiss

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Named after the upside-down kiss from the Spiderman movie, this kiss is epic and dramatic, it’s something your partner is not about to forget anytime soon. To do this you and the person you’re kissing have to be upside down from each other so that your upper lip kisses their lower lip. This does not mean one person has to be hanging from a building like spiderman, (unless you can). It can easily be done laying down in bed, on a couch or a when you’re having a picnic in the park. Best believe kissing upside down at a 180 degrees angle is a unique sensation. 


grayscale photo of man and woman facing each other and lying on grass

There’s no magical formula for knowing how to kiss someone, every person and situation is unique. These steps are merely to guide you and give you an idea of how to put all the chances on your side for your first kiss or a kiss with someone new to be memorable. But at the end of the day, it’s totally up to you, to really make it special. Just remember to make it a full body kiss by moving your hands, changing pace and intensity, lingering between kisses and exploring other parts of the body like the cheek, neck, and ears. When performed with skill and feeling, there is no greater expression of desire than a passionate kiss.

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