Loving Someone You Can't Have: 20 Ways To Get Over The Hardship
You love someone you can't be together with? Listening to sad songs and crying won't help you! Read this 20 ways and get over the hardship.
Jul 24, 2018
You Love Someone You Can't Be With
Being in love with someone you can't have is never a leisurely experience, especially when you believe that things can be different for you two. Still, mourning is allowed, but not in overcrowded quantities because you simply have to keep going. Pain, suffering and loneliness after all you've gone through are just some of the tough thoughts that torture you and tear you up, especially if you are in the role of being deeply in love with a person with whom you don't have a future. No matter how difficult it is to understand this, it would be better for you to tell yourself that you should not let your happiness with someone else, to be waiting for you somewhere, just because you are crying for some unrequited love. It is not easy, but it is necessary because the year of suffering, the lists of sad songs and the tears, will bring you nothing but less time for the tricky things that can happen to you. And here is how to overcome the person you love, but with whom you can't be together. You can take the following actions, which will help you to learn, understand, get over the hardship and love again.
1. Try To Look Towards The Positive Sides
There are many endless steps to your eternal love story. Days you were alone, bad and boring outbreaks, fun outbreaks, childish mistakes you made when you felt loved and, yes, feeling like a broken heart. You can choose to look at them as faded and spent time or you can choose to look at them as the necessary experiences that lead will you to your ultimate wishes. The first step to overcoming the person you love but can't have is to open your heart and mind so you can look for the positive side. Try and you will surely see that it is not all so "black".
2. Learn How To Become Better In Choosing Love
This man was not for you - after all, you couldn't be with him. This is a tough process. Many women do not know what they want or what they need. We never articulate it. We never allow ourselves to question what we want or need. Rather, we are guided by some general meaning, intuition, things that happen from day to day. It is helpful if you understand the feelings that are important for you to feel fulfilled, in order to learn how to make better choices in love and in the process of choosing a man.
3. When You Love Someone, Learn From Mistakes
The goal is to honestly, deliberately look at this life experience, learn something out of it, and go boldly forward. It is quite understandable if you do not have the will to "pass" again through the past; you may seem like you've finally overcome it and the idea of going through everything can be pretty repulsive. But it's not enough to stop the feeling of emotional pain because you've learned how to block it. You need to take the time to really overcome. When early heal, you will see the positive things of the past. You will be able to use the experience you have experienced to make your life better and, in the end, you will be much closer to your true, love story.
4. Allow Yourself To Mourn
Changing the feelings of anger, love, sadness are not something that is unusual after facing the truth, that you are in love with someone you cannot have. In fact, this is something that is completely normal. But instead of ignoring and suppressing those emotions, the best thing you can do for yourself is to let them go. Do not be afraid to cry; listen to some romantic songs, drown the sadness in the food, or do something else. It's only important that you calm down and empty yourself from negative feelings, which should certainly not be locked deep inside you.
5. Do Not Bother Yourself
The problem when you love someone you can't have is that you will never find answers you want to all the issues that are bothering you. Do not waste your time thinking about "what would it be, if it was," why he doesn't love me back," and "Did i did something wrong". If it is clear to you that you can't have him and that there is no future for you two, stop hoping in vain, admit to yourself that. Do not bother yourself with all those questions whose answers will never come.
6. Give Yourself Time
The wedge comes out with a wedge. So the famous proverb, which, if applied in this situation, would mean that you will forget your old love as soon as you find a new one. However, this does not have to be so, because it is not a rule that must be respected. The best advice is to listen to your feelings. If they tell you it's time for something else, then it's great. And if you do not really have anything to do with starting a new story, do not force yourself to do so, because it will only make you feel worse.
7. Discover Yourself Again
Dedicate yourself and fulfill the wishes you could not achieve while you were dedicated to be in love with someone you can't have. Change your hairstyle, travel somewhere with your friends; buy yourself something expensive about what you have been imagining for some time. Enjoy the day and use every moment just as it suits you, even if it was lying on the couch. Do everything that will help you to discover yourself again and to enjoy the things that you like, forget about the former love and go on, in new love trips.
8. Stop Every Communication With The Person You Love
If there is communication between you and the person you are in love with but can't have, there is only one think you should do as soon as possible. The only way to truly grieve someone and continue to live normally is to break off all the possible links that you had with him. This means that there is no conversation, no SMS, there is no going in places where you can meet him, there is nothing. A complete isolation from a movie in which you do not have one of the main roles is the best solution for you.
9. Make A List Of The Bad Things You've Been Through
In fact, remember all the bad situations that you have met and how you have successfully solved them, which made you realize that you are strong. When people go through several unhappy love stories, it's easy to think 'why this is happening to me, what's wrong with me.' The psychologist warns that you must not allow the past to create a shadow over the present. When you go through a difficult period, and being in love with someone you can't have is a great example of this, you should remember how you have won in some unpleasant life situations. For example remember how you overcame the failure, how you overcome some earlier breakup, how you manage to you get out of an emotional crisis after your parents have divorced ... Many people do not even realize how strong they are and are wrong in remembering some bad situations, but not how they came out as winners.
10. Stick To The Plans
Maybe running in the morning is irrelevant, but investing the effort to do it is important. This is called the theft effect, and it means that you adopt an opinion: if I managed to do this (whatever it is), I will succeed. So, think positively, about what you manage to do and it will give you the wind in the back. As you run, for example, you are barely waiting to end because you do not enjoy it and it seems like it will last forever, but after that you feel well because you managed to endure it. The same happens when you manage to overcome the hardship. When you pass through sadness and pain, and you have to go through it, you will realize that forgetting the one you can't have was a good thing and that you are happy.
11. Enter Some Course Or Challenge Yourself
Another way to forget your unrequited love is to start taking a course or setting yourself a challenge. But it's important that it is something that does not require any emotions. So, go to the gym, start running or something like that, to prove yourself that you are strong. That way you will not feel defeated and your brain will focus on something else.
12. Rely On Someone Else
Being strong means - let other people help you to be strong. You do not have to go through all of this by yourself, rely on family, friends ... We all went through breakouts or at some point in life we have all been in love with someone we cannot have.
13. Go Outside
You have heard a thousand times the song that is like written about you two and have cried a sea of tears. You are sad and in pain for being in love with someone you can't be together with, so we know that going out and having fun is your last thing you want to do, but somehow you are forced to. You need to enter some excitement in your life. You do not want to close yourself between four walls, so go out with you friends and have fun, because at the end life is beautiful. After returning home, wherever you are, you will certainly feel at least a bit better, which is exactly what you need.
14. The Problem Is Not You
Some things in life you just cannot force by yourself and make them happen, as well as people to do something they are not ready for. It doesn't matter if he has another girlfriend, or distance is the problem why you cannot be together. It even doesn't matter if he has feelings for you or doesn't like you at all. These things can't change the fact that you can't have him and there will probably never be the right time for you. So stop asking yourself silly questions and stop looking the problem as you.
15. Stop Spying On Him
When you are in a situation like this and you try to forget the person you love, the worst thing you can do is to spy on him and check him on Facebook, twitter or other social networks. Also stop asking his friend questions about him, whether he is happy, whether he is in love with his girlfriend, where they went on vacation etc. You need to close that chapter of your life, and having info about him will just make the process harder.
16. Accept The Pain
You are in love with someone you can't be together with and of course you feel pain. This is the hardest part of the whole story. Let the pain swell over your entire body. Cry if you need, listen romantic songs, eat lots of chocolate or other favorite sweets, sleep for days ... Do whatever you need to recover. It's not easy to hit the bottom, but know that out of this situation you will get stronger and smarter. As soon as you accept the pain, you can start recovering and overcome the hardship.
17. Overcome It Finally
Once you have allowed yourself time to "get sick," it's time to bring yourself in line and move on with your life! Unilateral love will not necessarily make you blind, but you will definitely have a limited vision that will focus all your energy in one direction - into a dead end, while other real opportunities pass by you. You can spend your life by loving someone who obviously does not feel the same toward you, but know that no one but you alone has the power to change that. Pick up, stand your feet firmly on the ground and finally overcome it!
18. Accept The Invitation Of Someone Interesting
When you have given yourself enough time to overcome the "break" of unilateral love, it's time to return to life, which also involves socializing with people. The last thing you want is to be sealed inside the four walls, alone with your thoughts. Come out to coffee, walk with your friends, accept a drink invitation with colleagues from work, and go to a club. We guess that while you were too busy loving that "someone" that you cannot have but loved, you pushed everyone from you. So turn off the sad songs you were listening at home and make a little change in your day. Now is the time to accept an invitation from someone interesting and go out with him. Give him a chance and go on a date.
19. Set Your Goals
Look back at your life and set some new personal goals. Now that you have resolved this chapter in your life, you are open to new experiences and are ready to work hard to achieve them. What will be the goal? It depends on you: will you work hard to achieve a promotion at work, or you will begin to learn a new language, or you will start saving to visit the land of your dreams ... Let it be something personal, something just for you.
20. Do Not Be Disappointed If You Need More Time
It is clear, after facing the truth that you need to forget him, you have to fight the bad feelings that seem to be attacking from all sides. Many people think that something is wrong with them if they do not forget quickly the person that they loved, which is why they think are weak. Do not worry, you're doing everything right. You need time to become completely resistant to your former love, but you will definitely go through it and get over it.
The Final Word
It has happened to everybody in life, at least once, to fall in love with someone they can't be together with. They often feed this fantasies imagining how beautiful the relationship or marriage will be. So to stop making your love a painful obsession to which you will only waste time, we gave you 20 advice on how to deal with your own feelings and how to forget someone you love but cannot have. If you are in the process of curing a broken heart, prepare for a long battle between the instinctive and logical part of the brain. Simply, you must have the strength to renounce your love. Self-discipline is crucial. Regardless of how independent and confident you are, being in love with someone you cannot have can really hurt you. There are many ways you can overcome this. Almost every woman has certain things from past love, with which she is not clear: "What have I done wrong?"; "Why did not he love me?"; "Why cannot we be together?"; "Will anyone ever love me?" It is quite clear, when these questions are left unanswered, we feel like junk, uncertain, unattractive, even hopeless. And there is anger. We have trouble believing men and even worse - we cannot trust ourselves. If you keep asking yourself these questions you could never move on. Instead give yourself the opportunity to get over the hardship.