Is He Cheating Or Am I Really Paranoid? 15 Worrying Signs to Know
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Are you worried that your boyfriend is cheating on you? Well, you never know until you learn to notice the signs. Your boyfriend may be behaving in a certain manner and you fear he is cheating on you and this makes you insecure. This can make you appear paranoid and other times you might be right. If you feel insecure and worry about your relationship, you should first learn how to distinguish paranoid from the real thing. If you are of sound mind but you are experiencing fear and anxiety, then those are the signs of being paranoid. When you keep questioning your husband’s motive and going through his stuff, this shows you have allowed him to control your mind. If a person decides to cheat on you, you should know the relationship is not worth it. There is no need to be paranoid; let it go. Below are some of the guidelines to watch for if you suspect your boyfriend is cheating on you:
1. Secrecy with His Phone
When you notice that your boyfriend has changed his phone password, or he keeps his phone in the pocket all the time, this is one way to know that something is not right. If he refuses to share his phone password and becomes too defensive about it, this is a sign that he is cheating on you. He may start spending most of his time on his phone or he becomes jumpy when you appear behind him while he is on the phone. Worrying and feeling insecure will not solve anything. You should start questioning his behavior since this is a sign that he is cheating on you. Nowadays our phones mirror us. It can tell a stranger who you are by scrolling through your phone.
2. Avoiding Picking Some Calls When You Are Around
Before, your spouse had no problem picking calls when you were around and at times, he would allow you to access his phone, suddenly his behavior changes. He runs outside to speak on his phone. Other times he refuses to pick the call and claims he will call back the person. You have a right to be paranoid since your spouse is up to no good. Whenever you ask him about the call, he becomes defensive. You should take drastic measures and start asking questions instead of worrying and feeling insecure. Probably he is not cheating on you but he is avoiding talking about his work in front of you.
3. Change of Appearance
When a couple becomes acquainted with each other, they become comfortable around each other. You stop trying to impress your significant other with your dress code or coming up with new hairstyles among others. If you notice your spouse has started grooming himself and he has not given you a reason why he is doing so, you should start worrying. Most men who are cheating on their spouses tend to change physically. Their posture changes, they start combing their hair in a different style or having a different haircut. They start using cologne yet before the smell of perfume irritated them. All these are signs that he is grooming himself to attract a certain person. You are not being paranoid; he is definitely cheating on you.
4. Increase in Responsibilities at Work Place
When your spouse starts spending long hours at work, and on weekends he claims he is working until late at nights; he keeps saying he is working on a certain project and the details of the projects remain a secret, you should fear that something is wrong. He makes excuses for you not to call him or bring lunch unexpectedly. You will start feeling insecure that something is off. You are not paranoid because this is a sign that he is cheating on you and making a fool out of you. Most men who cheat use this style to cheat on their wives.
5. Change in a Relationship
When your spouse starts to distance himself physically and emotionally from you, something is off. One minute you two were an item and the next you start noticing that you do not know what is going on with him. He rarely touches you nor is never in the mood to communicate with you. This is a major concern, you are not paranoid and stop saying that things will be okay since they are far from being okay. This is a major telltale sign that he is cheating on you.
6. Rise of Arguments and Fights
Your spouse starts picking up small insignificant fights and uses reverse psychology that you are in the wrong all the time. He leaves without saying where he is going. You on the other side will start being paranoid and insecure about the state of your relationship; you are left wondering what has happened and how it began. Your spouse will use this style when he wants an excuse to leave without you questioning him. More so, he might be doing so because of the mixed emotions and guilt for cheating on you. Cheating men tend to use such tactics to avoid their wives asking questions because they might be caught lying.
7. Mood Swings
A cheating man changes his mood in a snap of a finger. One moment your spouse is happy and promising the world to you, the other minute he is in a foul mood. Small details or behavior can switch his mood instantly. He keeps accusing you of doing things the wrong way, yet you both know that is not the case. You will start being paranoid if he is telling the truth about your or something is wrong. Most cheating husbands or boyfriends are unable to control their mood due to the affair. At times, it might be guilt for their actions.
8. Change in Taste of Music
Since you started courting with your spouse, you have known him to be a lover of certain music genres such as country music. He even went to an extent to make you love his music. All of a sudden, he starts disposing of his old music. You find him listening to another brand of music such as R n B. This is his way of familiarizing with the other woman’s taste in music. This might be not a definite sign that he cheating on you but it is worth looking at. There is no need for you to be paranoid about the whole situation; he might be changing to please you after all. A cheating man tends to change for the other woman; this is a way of him attracting her.
9. Hiding His Financial Details
A cheating husband will start finding a way to hide his everyday expenses. They use accounts such as PayPal account, reloadable credit card to mention but a few. This ensures he buys his mistress expensive gifts without his wife tracking their financial details. If you ever find out that your husband is doing so, confront him about the issue immediately. Do not let fear stop you from finding out the truth because he is cheating on you and he is using the family money to please someone else.
10. Change in Sexual Behavior
Couples who are used to each other have a certain sex position they are familiar with. If you two are used to having sex 2 to 3 times in a week, your husband might start asking for more. He will change the sex position or even become aggressive in bed if he was not before. The affair might make him want to have more sex with you to practice more. Alternatively, he might neglect you. This is a sure way to let you know something is up. Therefore, let him know that you are aware something is wrong instead of being paranoid about the whole issue. Tell him that you want to enroll both of you to see a sex therapist. This will scare him. A cheating man will have confidence during sex; he will want to show off his newly acquired skill.
11. Surprising You with Expensive Gifts
If your spouse rarely buys you gifts and he suddenly starts buying you gifts unexpectedly, you should question his motives. Definitely, he is cheating on you. However, this may not be the case; he might be doing this to please you. On the other hand, a cheating man is full of guilt and remorse due to his cheating behavior, especially if you do something nice for him and he has been ignoring you. Guilt will be written on his face. If you are quick to notice, you will know he is cheating on you.
12. He Stops Taking You to Social Events
Your spouse will start telling you that you need your alone time with your female friends so does he. Whenever he wants to go out, he will claim that it is his night out with his workmates. He will encourage you to spend more time with your friends. A cheating boyfriend will use this excuse so that he can spend as much time with his mistress. He will justify that if you can spend time with your friends, so can he and you will not bother him while at it. He will not have time for you anymore as you were before. Cheating men use white lies all the time. If you were keen enough, you would be able to notice.
13. A Cheating Man Spends Too Much Time on Social Media
Social media platforms such as Twitter are a major cause of infidelity in many relationships. When your husband spends more time on social media and his behavior changes drastically, you will know that he is cheating on you. If he becomes paranoid whenever you pick his phone or answer his calls, do not wait for the situation to get out of control. Confront him and demand to see what he is hiding. Of course, he will become defensive and use excuses not to show you. This is a major sign that he is cheating on you on social media.
14. Needing More Privacy than It Is Normal
Everybody needs his or her privacy at one point. Nevertheless, when someone starts to overdo it, it becomes a cause for concern. A cheating husband will start claiming how his children or loud noise from the television is disturbing him yet before he had no problem with the noise. He will close doors and forbid everyone from coming through without knocking. He needs space to be able to communicate with his mistress. When he does this, it is proof enough that he is cheating on you.
15. Trust Your Instincts When You Are Paranoid
Your instincts are never wrong. It is always advisable to listen to your instincts. If something is nagging you and your gut feeling is telling you that your boyfriend is cheating on you, you are probably not being paranoid. Listen to it and investigate. The results will confirm that you were right all along. Some men know how to hide their affairs; such cheating men are psychopaths and they know how to hide their affairs. The only proof that you have is your instincts. Always trust what your gut feeling is telling you. A man can do so many things that may suggest that he is cheating on you. The above are just a few of the pointers of his behavior. Do not ignore them by concluding that you are being paranoid. As a woman, you need to be careful and know when things are not going right. Consider the above points to determine whether you are still his only one or there is someone else.