How to Win Back Your Ex
We all have that one ex who holds a special place in our heart and we wish things never ended on such a sour note. The break-up might have been rough and you may have sent a text or two being extremely rude to him while blaming him for everything that led to the break up. Those texts were most likely followed by an apology that left youbegging for him to come back. You want to fix between things but you aren't quite sure how to do that. Here is our advice to you. It's okay to miss him, but first you need to leave him alone. If you're looking to get back with your ex, you have to take things slowly. It might be best to move on for a while and give yourself some self-love while you recover from your broken hear. Once you get back into the right mindset, try to reconnect with him if you don't hear from him first.
Love Yourself First
One of the biggest ways to win your ex back is to move on... or at least act like you're moving on. Your ex will definitely want you more if you look happy, living life just fine without him. Loving yourself and treating yourself right is an attractive trait to all men. During the time during after the break up, look within yourself to work on any insecurities you might have and do your best to resolve those issues within yourself. A lot of people say that "the way to get over your old guy, is to get under a new one," ut please, don't do that. If you jump back into a relationship quickly, you are only pushing off the hurt and pain and using the new guy as a rebound, which isn't fair to him. One thing you could do is work on your appearance to build up your own self-esteem. If you want to lose a few pounds, trying going to the gym or simply taking a walk outside. Eat healthier by trying out a new fruit or vegetable. It might be fun to treat yourself to a day at your local mall. Take a makeup class, try on new close or even get a haircut. At the same time however, try not to be too drastic. Be confident in who you are and let everyone know, including your ex, that this isn't stopping you from living your life. Allow yourself some "me time", while moving on. You might want to try a new hobby such as painting or bead work and be sure to get back into the things you enjoyed before the relationship came to an end.
30- Days of No Contact
The no contact rule is simple, don't contact your ex, at all. No more calling, or texting, or emailing. No social media contact either, no Facebook messaging, Instagram DMing, and please, stop using Twitter! Maybe the best way to keep yourself from contacting your ex is to delete and block him from all social media so you're not tempted to contact him. Try leaving him alone for at least 30 days after the break up. The reason for the 30-day no contact is to allow yourself time to heal and your ex to have his own space to clear his mind. You both need time to move on from the negative situation and the no contact order allows you the freedom to do so. With this 30 days, you ex can start to remove all of the negative associations from the back up and start to miss you. With this time, you can re-evaluate the situation and know you don't need your ex to survive and be the sole purpose for your happiness. Make an effort not to go a day less than 30 days because this is your time to heal. Try writing in a journal about your feelings, hanging out with your girlfriends, or maybe even go out on a date. Now a date doesn't mean a whole new relationship, it's just going out for a night or two with a new guy just to meet someone new and gain a new perspective. Lastly, if your break up was a horrible one, try the no contact order for a few months to allow you both more time to heal. If your ex starts dating someone else during the no contact, don't be too stressed out. Continue to get to know and love yourself again so you're in a healthier frame of mind.
Build the Attraction Between the Two of You Two Back Up Again
After 30 days of no contact, if you wish, reach out to your ex. Send him a short, but meaningful text message. Try to text him before calling or adding him back on social medias because you want to take things slow. Be very subtle in your text messages and don't start off too fast by confessing your love for him. If you beg him for forgiveness, chances he might think you're needy so it's best to take things slow at first. Don't send meaningless one- word text messages like "Hi." or a smile face emoji. Text him something informative or fun like, "Hey, I decided to start re-watching the Star Wars series again, we really did love those movies." Don't expect him to text you back right away and have a full out conversation so fast, but put it out there that you were thinking about him. As time passes and he's responded to a few more of your messages, be sure there is a back and forth within the messages. Ask him if he'd like to hang out in person but don't think of this as a date, just think of it as two friends hanging out. Remember, you don't want to move too fast.
Don't Force Him Back into a Relationship
If your ex doesn't text you back he might not be interested in reconnecting with you. If this is the case then you need stop trying to out reach out to him. This is the time where you move on. If you do end up reconnecting and you're now texting buddies, ask him to hang out but once again, don't beg him to hang out with you. That will only turn him off and make him start to re-experience the negativity from your previous relationship. Begging your ex to get back into a relationship with you, you will look desperate. Trying to force your ex to get back into a relationship with you will only push him further away. He doesn't want someone who is needy always nagging at him and bothering him. Men are attracted to happy, confident women, not desperate needy ones. Try to keep your cool. If it helps, rememeber that there is still love there and you two are like old friends who drifted apart and now you two are reconnecting.
Keep from Arguing About Previous Relationship
The last thing you want to do when reconnecting with an ex is to bring up arguments or disagreements from your previous relationship. If your ex just so happens to mention one of the reasons you broke up, don't argue about it. Take ownership and apologize for what you did in the situation and do your best to let it go. It might be hard to say sorry for a situation you felt like you were right about, but remember that you're trying to win him back. Do your best not to stir up any past drama between the two of you because this will only make him resent you. It's definitely hard to move your ego to the side and not always try to be right, but respect his feelings as to why the relationship ended. Move on from there so it doesn't turn into a blaming game.
Win Him Back with Kindness
Another thing you might want to do to win him back is to be sweet and kind. After the 30- day no contact order, if you happen to see each other out in public, smile and wave. Try not to go up to him and do your best to give him some space. If you continue to be kind to him, he make his way over to you. Don't flirt with a lot of guys to make him jealous because chances are, it will backfire. Guys can see through that act and they don't fall for it. If you want to win him back, falling all over other guys will make him think less of you and that you're easy. No guy wants to be in a relationship with a girl who has the attention of many other guys. When he finally does talk to you, be sweet and make him feel like he's the only guy in the world for you.
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Don't Be a Door Mat
Being kind to your ex and doing nice things for him shouldn't lead to him disrespecting you or treating you poorly. You may feel like you're doing everything you're ex wants you to do to get back on his good side and hopefully our advice will help. Whatever you do, don't sacrifice your own values, morals, and happiness to get back together with him. If you give your ex everything he wants and asks for, chances are he will respect you less and you two will not get back together. A guy doesn't want to be in a relationship with a desperate girl who does anything he tells her to do. This only leads to disrespect and discontent. Know your worth and try to play hard to get. Occupy your life by doing what you want to do by taking care of yourself, first. Be kind to him, but don't let him take you for granted. If he texts you, text him back in an hour even if you aren't doing anything. If he asks you to go out, tell him you're busy but suggest another time and date to go out in the near future. Never be easily available and last but not least, please, don't be his doormat.
Be Positive About the Future
Have a positive vision about how much you want the relationship to work out this time and act accordingly and don't ever force anything upon anyone. You have to let the relationship unfold naturally to see where things go and be sure to have fun along the way. Try to relax whenever you feel desperate about getting back with your ex. He is not your life, he is a small part of it and you should treat him as such.
Final Words to Win Him Back
Try not to be so hung up about getting back together with your ex. Things might have ended but during your break up, take some time for yourself and allow him his own space. You need time to heal, so love yourself with your free time and try some new hobbies. After the 30 days or longer you took to love yourself, reach out to him. It's a slow process, so don't rush things. When you two are reconnected, remember not to let him run all over you or disrespect you. Know that you deserve to be treated with respect and you won't take anything less. Keep in might that things with your ex might not work out and you will have to move on. Be positive and open to meeting new guys and learning more about yourself. It's not the end of the world if you two don't get back together. There may be someone better just around the corner.