Top 25 Characteristics Of An Unhealthy Relationship

There is no quick and easy definition of an unhealthy relationship, which is why it can be hard to tell if you're in one. There are many types of unhealthy relationships. An unhealthy relationship can be abusive, or it can be a relationship where one person is gaining something while the other loses something. An unhealthy relationship can also mean that the two people's personalities clash catastrophically. The signs of an unhealthy relationship may seem healthy to outsiders and even to the people in the relationship. You have to step back and evaluate your relationship to see if it is unhealthy. These 25 characteristics of unhealthy relationships may help you to determine if you're in an unhealthy relationship and give you some tips on how to fix it or get out.

One of the signs of an unhealthy relationship is physical abuse. Some characteristics of a physically abusive relationship are: 1. Your partner uses physical punishment when he/she is angry, such as slapping, punching, pushing, or scratching. 2. Your partner grabs you hard enough to leave marks. 3. Your partner throws things in your direction during arguments with the intention of hitting you, regardless of if the object hits its mark. 4. Your partner uses force to get your attention, such as slapping or grabbing. 5. You or someone else has called the authorities because of physical abuse from your partner. If a relationship is physically abusive, there is no way to fix it. Your relationship is unhealthy beyond the point of healing. There are no types of physical abuse that are acceptable in a relationship, and if your relationship exhibits any of these signs, it is unhealthy, and you should attempt to remove yourself from the relationship safely.

Another one of the types of characteristics that may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship is emotional or mental abuse. The definition of emotional/mental abuse is harmful words or actions intended to hurt a person mentally rather than physically. Some signs of this type of abuse that would mean the relationship is unhealthy are: 6. Using the silent treatment to show power and make the other person feel inferior. 7. Your partner calls you names and swears at you. 8. Your partner uses patronizing language towards you to make you feel small and insignificant. 9. Your partner tells you that you're useless and unloved. 10. Your partner constantly insults your physical appearance. Like physical abuse, mentally abusive relationships are extremely unhealthy. If you feel that you want to try to fix this type of relationship, discuss with your partner how to end the hurtful commentary and behaviors. You may need a third party to help with this, like seeing a counselor or therapist. If you identify with any of the characteristics above, though, it may be best to find a relationship where emotional abuse has never been present, and you don't have to worry about your partner relapsing into this unhealthy behavior.

Behavior that changes depending on whether or not your alone is another sign that the relationship is unhealthy. The characteristics of this type of behavior are: 11. Your partner holds your hand in public when there are people to see, but will not do so in private/without an audience. 12. Your partner only kisses you in public. 13. Physical affection of any kind, including touching, hugging, and snuggling, is limited to public places. 14. Your partner uses pet names for you in public but only calls you by your name, or a harmful word, in private. 15. Your partner will act complacent and understanding in public but will be argumentative in private. 16. You feel that your public persona with your partner is fake or manufactured to please people. 17. Your partner acts loving in public but is forcefully sexual in private. 18. Your partner expects you to be completely put together when in public and gets angry if you wear comfortable clothes that should remain inside the house. 19. Your partner only wants to see you in public and never wants to spend time in your home (or their home), so your relationship feels like it exists only to keep up appearances. 20. Or, your partner only wants to see you privately and never in public, so it feels like your partner is ashamed of you.

The definition of a healthy relationship is one where two people coexist happily and peacefully and can rationally discuss and conclude arguments. An unhealthy relationship can happen when two people don't mesh well with each other. Two different types of personalities coming together may work in some ways, but it can often lead to an explosive and unhealthy relationship. The characteristics of clashing personalities are: 21. A small argument, such as where to eat dinner, turns into a huge mess where you both rehash old arguments and attach each other with pent-up problems you didn't discuss before. 22. You don't want to spend time together because you're not interested in the same things. 23. You can't have important discussions because your partner refuses to pay attention to the conversation. 24. You are happier when you are not together. Your relationship feels like a burden because you have to be "on" all the time. 25. Your partner makes you feel guilty for not enjoying the things he/or she does, but neither of you put in the effort to find mutual interests.

A healthy relationship is the opposite of an unhealthy relationship. You should never feel like you have to fix your relationship, though healthy relationships do require work. The work should be easy because you care about each other and the success of your relationship, so you're willing to compromise and consider each other's feelings when discussing how to continue with your relationship. You and your partner should have mutual interests and being apart should be hard. Even so, you should both have your interests and hobbies so that you're not dependent on each other for entertainment and happiness. A healthy relationship may have a couple of the above characteristics, but it shouldn't have many of them. The characteristics that are present from above in a healthy relationship must be worked on by both people in the relationship. A relationship is a partnership and part of what makes relationships unhealthy is that only one person is putting in the work. An unbalanced relationship is an unhealthy relationship.

If your unhealthy relationship features characteristics of physical abuse, it is irredeemable. Physical abuse is unacceptable, and you will never feel completely safe if these characteristics are present. Like mentioned above, if your unhealthy relationship has characteristics of mental abuse, professional help and discussions on how to prevent this kind of behavior may help to fix the problem. Otherwise, abusive relationships, in general, should be left behind. This is not an easy decision to make and leaving an abusive relationship can be very difficult, but it is important for both of you that this type of unhealthy relationship end as soon as possible. The other characteristics listed above may be reversible if only a few are present in the unhealthy relationship. Many of the personality problems you can fix by sitting down and talking about the things you're looking for in a relationship and the things you like to do. Often, even people with clashing personalities can find common ground. If the love is there, it's worth giving it a shot to turn your unhealthy relationship into a healthy one. The problems that involve a public persona vs. a private persona are a bit more difficult to face. However, it isn't impossible. Talking about the physical stuff, like why your partner will only kiss you or touch you in public, can help. Maybe being around people makes your partner less shy? Maybe he or she is worried about how you'll react when you're in private? Open communication is extremely important in relationships, and a good sit-down conversation can reverse a lot of these unhealthy characteristics.

If an unhealthy relationship is not fixable, ending it is the best option for both of you. It's never easy to break up with a partner, especially one that you've been with for a while. However, if you've started to notice unhealthy characteristics that have always been there under the surface and you're not sure it's worth fixing, or even can be fixed, breaking up is what you have to do. The first step is to have a conversation. Excluding physically abusive relationships where this could be dangerous, asking your partner to sit down with you to discuss the unhealthy parts of your relationship will help ease into the breakup. Once you've aired out your grievances, you and your partner will likely feel a lot of emotions. Anger, fear, sadness. Your relationship was likely important to both of you. However, you have to be strong and try to get your partner to understand that this is for the best. You'll both be happier in healthy relationships that don't require a complete overhaul. After the breakup, cut ties with your ex. Being friends might be tempting, but it will only lead to problems. If you're both single again in the future, you run the risk of falling back into the unhealthy relationship you just escaped. A clean break up with no friendship between you is the best way to go.

If only one or two of the above characteristics apply to you, you're probably fine. You may want to start one of those discussions mentioned earlier, but your relationship is still pretty healthy. However, if many (or all) of the above characteristics ring true for your current relationship, it is the definition of an unhealthy relationship, and you need to either figure out how to fix it or end things once and for all.