How To Let Things Go And Move Forward

With the multitude of life experiences we all share daily, it is impossible to think that we will never get hurt. Regardless of the generation we come from, our daily lives require us to interact with people who come from many different backgrounds, cultures, and belief systems. In human interactions and relationships, we understand the number one key component to qualitative relationships is good communication. And although communication is key in all types of relationships, it has been proven to be one of the most under-developed skill of our society. And with our highest form of interaction with one another so poorly developed, it is no surprise that we face all types of pains that may have a lasting impact on our future interactions with others when these relationships go bad. No matter the relationship shared with another, be it professional, personal, or intimate; there might come a time when messages get crossed and communication becomes impossible. During these difficult moments, we may find ourselves in the midst of our personal emotions and can't find a way to either express our feelings or communicate our point-of-view to our partners. As a result, miscommunication may lead to great pains and hurtful expressions that may last longer than they should. When this happens, we may find ourselves alone, pondering the events and trying to reach closure from the pain. So how do we get past the hurt and move on to our new things in our lives? How do we let things go, no matter the circumstances that lead to the hurting? There are many ways to let things go and some may seem impossible to attain. Read on and learn the initial difficulties faced when encountering pain; the steps to healing; and eventually how to let things go and keep moving forward.

Throughout the course of our lives, we interact in different types of relationships; these relationships are built from the time we are born and stabilize throughout our lives. Depending on the types of childhood relationships we have in our early years, we build the types of relationships we keep when we become adults. Relationships are dependent on communication and in a generation of social media where poor communication is expressed with emojis; many relationships falter due to the lack of attention and communication given to the relationships. This leads to breakups, arguments, misjudgments in such relationships. The difficulty of facing such reactions is dependent on the types of relationships that are affected. For example, relationships can fall under differing titles such as an intimate relationship shared with a loved one; household relationships shared with family members; organizational and professional relationships shared with peers or co-workers. Each relationship type requires a different form of communication. As with a family member, one might become more soft-spoken with their words; while if working as a leader of a corporation, one might hold a stern posture and vocal pitch to establish dominance in situations and relationships. The varying relationships we hold, require personality adjustments and communication skill levels to not create any misperception in relationships that lead to hurtful and painful experiences.

No matter the relationship type, every relationship goes through the same stages: I. Acquaintance II. Buil-dup III. Continuation IV. Deterioration V. Termination

This stage is probably the best stage of all relationships as it established the relationship. Everyone involved is on their best behavior and shows the best of their personalities. Communication is efficient and exceptional at this stage as the newness of the relationship creates an excitement and interest in both parties.

As the individuals involved in the relationship begin to get to know each other a bit more, their excitement for one another builds even more. This creates a build-up of positive emotions towards one another, allowing the relationship to develop into the next stage.

At this point, parties involved in the relationship make the decision to continue on. Regardless of whether or not the relationship is intimate or professional. In an intimate union, the relationship will move forward into the monogamous stage; while in a professional relationship, the 90-day probationary period will have been met and a long-term relationship will be offered and accepted.

Depending on the parties involved, the relationship may take some time to reach this stage. For example in an intimate relationship, the deterioration stage involves miscommunication and mishandled emotions that lead to a breakup and with the parties involved now sharing a new relationship of being one another's ex, this may make it difficult to immediately move past hurtful emotions. While in a professional relationship, miscommunication may also arise, but leads to termination of the position held at the company; termination from a position can be hard to deal with and emotions related should be handled with precaution prior to moving past the relationship onto a new job. At this stage hurt is felt, and pains are experienced on an intense level in all relationships involved in, the goal is to move past the feelings and not bother with lingering feelings.

Once the decision to terminate the relationship is decided and agreed on, getting past the experience and moving forward is key. Each party involved should not bother with trying to communicate their feelings with one another, as this will lead to more miscommunication and let down. Each party should separate and begin the process of letting things go and moving forward.

In all relationship types, feelings will arise and give birth to emotions that may work for or against you in intense situations. For example, when feeling good about the relationship, you may not bother with expressing harmful feelings that may cause pain to your relationship. This helps the relationship build strength. Feelings of love, compassion, understanding, and kindness may be exhibited during these moments, causing each party to feel stronger feelings for one another. As the relationship grows, the parties involved may begin to exhibit differing feelings. For example, jealousy is one feeling that works against relationships. And while some will believe jealousy to be a form of love; however, jealousy has the ability to destroy a relationship and create chaos. Finally, as the relationship reaches its end, feelings such as hate and despise may arise. On the other hand, some people find themselves wanting to work through everything and the feeling of love and romance reignites in the relationship, giving the parties involved a second chance at love and a new life. But for those individuals who never reunite, it may become a lonely place when sorting through and reconciling all the emotions and memories experienced during the relationship. However, there are important steps that can be taken to heal from the pain and move forward.

Pain and hurt come from different relationships we build throughout our lives. With romantic relationships, we may have an ex that lingers on in our minds, plaguing our thoughts and making it impossible to move past the love that was once shared. In more casual relationships, we may have a friend or associate that we once had a bond with, that later broke. Getting past this relationship may deem itself difficult as well. And most recently, professional relationships have proven to be a learning experience when the hurt comes from the workplace. Workplace-related pain can be the most difficult to let go of, as we must always maintain our distance and professionalism in such environments. With all the levels of pain or hurt that we may experience in our lifetime, there is a method of learning from the experience and a technique of letting things go.

Once we've realized that we're hurt, no matter the relationship held with the person, we must take the initiative to address the pain. Here are a few methods to use to address the pain or hurt:

1. Let Things Go and Address Yourself: It may seem easier to focus on what someone else did to bring you pain, but addressing your actions during the event will bring you one step closer to healing. 2. Let Things Go and Don't Blame Others: When addressing the situation, the worst thing you could do is blame others. By placing the blame on others, you will not resolve your participation in the problem and may carry your own behavior to other or new relationships. 3. Let Things Go and Acknowledge Your Feelings: Understand yourself better through perceiving how you feel in the moment and with each memory of the painful event. This will aid in relieving the emotional pressures associated with the event. 4. Let Things Go and Rant a Little: When in private, allow yourself to rant temporarily about the problem. This can be a form of therapy and soothe your mind and all the problems to no longer bother you.

Once you've taken the step of acknowledging and facing the pain, the only thing left to do now is to heal. Healing brings forth the new light into your life and allows you to let things go easily. Here are some simple methods to use during your healing process:

1. Let Things Go & Write Everything Down: Yes, this seems like a tedious act to accomplish with all those tears running down your face, but by writing everything down, you will remove the problem from your head and allow yourself to see it for what it really is. Don't bother yourself with grammar or spelling. Just write so that you can go back and understand the situation later on. 2. Let Things Go & Cry it Out: Now that you've written everything down, read it, and read it again, and read it again. It seems like you're becoming a masochist, but you are only hurting to heal. 3. Let Things Go & Change Your Perception: Now that you've written and read the event's details, you should begin to detach yourself emotionally from the situation. At this point, the pain should not bother you as much for you now understand it from an objective point of view.

4. Let Things Go & Head Outside: Now that you are healing, go outside and take a walk in nature. You may meet new people and have a chance to have a conversation not related to the experience you've been having lately. 5. Let Things Go & Get Physical: Do some meditation, exercise, do yoga or anything that helps your body move and release hormones that may later become harmful or cause depression. 6. Let Things Go & Get Creative: Now that you've become more in tune with your original self, get creative. Write a short story, paint a picture, or take up blogging. Anything that allows your creativity to flow.

7. Let Things Go & Remember This: You have two options; you can either change the person or your environment. And that person is you, so continue working on yourself. 8. Let Things Go & Learn from the Experience: Use this event as a learning experience and make it a pivotal point so that no other or new relationship heads down this path. 9. Let Things Go & Reward Yourself: Now that you have acknowledged the pain, faced the pain, and healed from the pain, give yourself a "well done" reward. The reward can be as simple as a visit to a nail salon or a new blouse. Make yourself feel good. 10. Let Things Go & Never Forget: We've been hurt, we felt pain, we learned, and healed. Now the most important thing is to never forget the experience, its lessons, or the process that it took to heal. Waste no more moments of your life on such experiences going forward by never forgetting.

With each relationship, the greatest gifts are the lessons we learned. If each lesson learned is applied to one's life as a building tool for not only future relationships, but also self-growth, one will never have to bother with broken relationships that don't work for the benefit of one's life. Moving forward will be easy because all the previous lessons learned can be applied, but most importantly, such negative relationship experiences will lessen and become less prevalent in one's life experience. Moving forward can be difficult, but making relationships work takes even more effort, but it is a possible task if lessons learned in relationships are studied and applied to one's life experience.

The process of interacting with other human beings can be simple or difficult for most, but the most important factor related to such interactions is learning to work well with others. Remembering that some pains are avoidable, while others are not. But most importantly, with the new skills learned, the ability to let things go has become a more simple task. Let it be clear that pain will come with any relationship, but the building of our communication skills will lessen the hurt and pain that would be felt during difficult events. With better communication skills, the ability to let things go comes easier and we stop letting small things bother us. So like Anna said in Frozen "Let it Go".