How To Let Go Of Someone You Love And Move On

Finding it hard to let go of someone you love and move on? Here are some tips on how to let go of someone you love and move on.

By Janani
How To Let Go Of Someone You Love And Move On

Know When To Let Go

Relationships are complicated. Being in a relationship is more like a roller coaster ride; it is full of ups and downs. You can never expect a relationship to be a purely fun-filled one, but you must be able to find happiness even during the darkest of times. When in love the initial stages are pure bliss; there is more happiness, more understanding, and more love. But, to be in a relationship for a longer period of time means you need to work on falling in love with the same person over and over again. There might not be any thrill in the later stages of your relationship as it was in the beginning. But, the one thing that you should never do is 'stop loving'. Sometimes, being in a relationship gets harder than you think, but that doesn't mean you have to let go of your special someone and move on. But you need to know when to let go and when not to. Sometimes, even in your happy relationship, misunderstandings can happen, but that doesn't mean you have to let go. Rather, if you find yourself in a toxic relationship, then no matter how hard you try; your life is going to get miserable. So it is better to let go of the one you love and move on. There might be many reasons for your break up right from being cheated to getting dumped in your relationship. But, whatever the reason is, letting go of your special someone is painful. It is not always an easy task to let go of your dear one but there are always few ways that you can help yourself to recover better. Here are few tips to help you better to let go of your special someone and move on with your life.

1. To Let Go, Never Stay In Touch With Your Love

The basic and most important rule when you are trying to let go of someone you love is to never contact them again. It is not an easy task, your heart, and mind will be completely bewitched by your special someone. But, instead of finding ways to contact them or by sending messages to them, it is better that you don't act on your thoughts. Being away from the person you love can make you feel lifeless and numb but that doesn't mean you can stay in touch. Never even try to send text messages, there might be a ton of thoughts in your mind whether you did the right thing or not, but, trust me, you did what is best for both of you.

Life can seem meaningless without being with the one you love but when you really think about it, ask yourself…is it all worth it? Deep down you know that life with your dear one was not that one you expected, but the idea of being with your loved one made you happy. There might be a lot of confusion right after the break-up but contacting your loved one is never going to make things better. Rather it is going to hurt you even more. So, remember not to contact your dear one, no matter, how bad it hurts.

2. Set Yourself A Time To Wallow

You are depressed and stressed for letting go of someone you love. Do you know the best treatment ever for being stressed out? It is to cry your feelings out. Never feel embarrassed or stupid to cry your feelings out. It is okay to cry and feel sad. You have lost the one you loved and it hurts pretty bad, there is nothing wrong to weep. Set aside a time for you to wallow your feelings out and get your past completely out of the system. It is not going to be an overnight process but be patient and take your time. Time heals all pain.

Never overdo wallowing because that is not healthy, but make sure that you do not spend more than a couple of days. You might feel that you will never be able to feel happy again but that is not true, once you move on these stages you will be happy again. It is just a phase in your life that you are going through. Tomorrow when you think about it, it will all just be a memory of the past and you will actually feel a lot better.

3. Don't Live A Fantasy With Your Love

Never curse yourself or demean yourself for letting go of the relationship that you had. When you are going through your breakup, you tend to make yourself believe what you had with your dear one was a happy relationship. Never forget the fact that your relationship ended for a reason. You are never going to think about ending a relationship if what you had with your partner was a lovely relationship.

During times of breakup, you tend to imagine your relationship as what you could have had with them rather then what you actually had. When your past hurts you more, you tend to forget the person whom they really were rather you start to idealize them the way you wanted them to be. So, never make the mistake of fantasizing what you could have had with your partner. This will only trick you into believing that you had a nice time with your partner. Eventually, leading to regrets and guilt for letting go of the one you love.

4. Accept The Fact

Going through a break up is an excruciating task; it might be hard to accept that your dear one has left you. But, it is very important that you learn to accept the fact that it has come to an end. To come in peace with the idea that your relationship has ended must be really difficult, but the truth is it has to be ended as it was getting in trouble. Knowing that your partner has moved on with their lives can make you depressed but you should be prepared to accept and understand that they never really loved you in the way you deserved.

Now that you are going through a break-up it is quite normal to expect your dear one to return back to you. But that is not going to happen. They are never coming back, so you need to be realistic about it. Hoping they would miraculously understand the love you had for them and to try and get back to you is not going to happen. Letting go of things that you can never control can make you less miserable. Accept that it is all in the past and you are hurting yourself for something that is already done and dusted. So, learn to make peace with your past by accepting the breakup to have a happier future.

5. To Let Go, Dispose Your Love's Stuff

Looking at your dear one's belongings can hurt you more than you can imagine. Every little stuff that you have of theirs will remind you about what you have been missing in your life. It is better to get rid of all your partner's belongings as it gets a lot easier for you to forget them. Make sure that you even get rid of their text messages or emails or even those love letters. It might be an impossible thing to do, but trust me it gets a lot better after you do. When you try to get rid of their stuff, it is actually accepting the fact that you have let go and that they will no longer be a part of your everyday life.

You might feel broke and that your life serves no purpose without the dear one by your side but these intense feelings that you have right now will gradually go away. In the longer run, you will be able to think your special someone as just a memory of your past. So, the best way to deal with letting go of your dear one is to dispose of their stuff. All the strong feelings that you have right now will eventually mean nothing to you as time goes by.

6. Never Live In The Past

Letting go of someone that you love hurts, but that doesn't mean you can keep reliving your memories. You might have had many wonderful times with the one you love but there is no point in glorifying your past. Dwelling in the past is going to make you gloomy and never happy. So, make it a point to never live in your past memories. Never keep visualizing the happy times as it is never going to happen again and it is all in the past. Rereading your text messages with your special someone or those love letters that you sent might lift up your mood but you will end up feeling hurt because living in the past hurts.

Never letting go of the past and dwelling on your past memories might get you stuck in the place where you don't belong. Rather try living in the moment, seize the day and make the most out of it. Learn from the mistakes of your past and try living in the moment. Learn to see happiness even in smallest gestures and you will return back to normal. Nothing gets you out of the worst pain that you go through than living in the present. Be a kind of person who appreciates every little thing around you, your past hurts, but nothing hurts more than not living your life to the fullest.

7. Share The Grief About Your Love

When trying to let go of your past, try sharing your grief with your friends. The best way to overcome your hurt and feel positive about your life is by sharing. Nothing could do wonders then sharing your grief with the right friends. Your friends can be your biggest moral supports. No one on the outside will never be able to understand the depth of your sorrow but will definitely be able to provide you the support that you need. Surround yourself with friends whom you can trust and talk to.

Never bottle up your feelings as they might explode at some point in time, making you even more poignant. So, always try to share your feelings so they can help you out. Also, remember not to take complete advantage of your friends and dump them with all your sadness. Everybody has their own life and priorities and no one is ever going to be interested in your life as much as you do. So, remember not to take advantage of your friends who help you in need.

8. To Let Go, Maintain A Journal

Every relationship has both high and low points. It is always wise to make a journal and make a note of both the things that actually went wrong and the positive aspects. This could be really useful when just in case if you ever change your mind and want to get back to the one you loved, you will know what exactly went wrong in the past. Either write short messages or letters to yourself making note of his positive and negative aspects. Understand that all his high points were the reason that you actually loved him in the first place.

Doing the thing that grounds me - 📷 @liamhall_ @viridianlens

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Evaluate his low points and understand why the relationship never worked out between the two of you. Be honest with yourself when you make a note, make sure that you evaluate yourself in the relationship with your special someone. This will help you to detoxify yourself from the toxic things that you did and try not to make the same mistake in your next relationship. Also, remember not to dwell on the darker side of your partner as it will create hatred and your love might turn into resentment. This can only harm you, also make sure that you never give the negative pieces of your heart to your partner as well.

9. To Let Go of Your Love Travel A Lot

To move on from your past hurts, but to overcome your pain it is better to travel to new places. Go solo on adventurous trips, travel to new places, meet new people, and understand that there is life after love. Travelling to new places lifts your mind and makes you learn that there are so many other things in your life. It helps to remind you that life is still beautiful the way it is. Although you might feel that your life has hit rock bottom, you will realize that it is not true.

What you seek is seeking you. 🔮

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By traveling new places you will be able to explore yourself and find how life is beautiful. You will understand that your life is still better without your special someone and that you don't need another person to make you happy. You will learn to be more independent, write letters or messages to yourself and make a note of all the things that you feel when you find life exciting, even without another person. Read those letters and messages whenever you feel low or upset. Traveling is the best healer and it is the best medicine when you go through breakups.

10. Explore Your Passion

Make sure that you are fully occupied when trying to let go, this way you will have more to think. Adopt a hobby; try to rekindle your passion. Explore your childhood passion; it is never too late to do something that you love. Nothing makes you happier than doing things that you love and with all your heart. This way you not only get to improve yourself but you get to know and improve your interests. Diversion from your own thoughts is what you need when you are trying to move on. So, the best way to do that is getting engaged with something that is cherished by you. Because you are dealing with your worst enemy- your mind, and that needs to be treated well with care and love. So the right thing to do is to get involved with your passion.

11. Make New Friends And Hang Out

Moving on from a relationship can be really difficult but try to make the best out of it. You might want to isolate yourself from your friends and family but that is never a right thing to do. Make new friends and meet new people, learn to socialize. Meeting new people means you are letting new people into your life and that you are ready for a change. Making new friends means you are going to explore yourself in a much better way.

Hang out with your friends and family. Remember that these are the kind of people who stood by you when you needed them the most. These are the ones who love you for who you are and accept you with your flaws that is the kind of company you need to be in right now. Make sure you have fun with them and make new memories with them. Jot down all your happy memories and moments with your friends either by writing yourself a letter or send messages to yourself, to remind you that life can be fun if you really want it to be.

12. To Let Go, Love Yourself More

It is quite normal to think about the ways to win back your special someone. You might be looking for the right words to say and getting your partner back but that is never going to happen. Now that your partner has left you it is high time that you understand the true value of yourself. Learn the fact that you should never settle for anything less. Know the true value of yourself. Learn from your past mistakes and upgrade yourself. Make yourself a better version of you.

This week was tough. I thought a lot about writing a letter to somebody who I cared deeply about, but who is no longer in my life. It’s been an ongoing struggle. Feeling small and fearful made me cut ties with this person completely but left a lot of wounds open and still achy. The parts where I’m cut the deepest are parts that this person continues to rub salt in and for whatever reason I have refused to defend myself. I wrote this letter because I thought that I needed to be bold and finally stand my ground in order to stop the pain they cause me. But as this week unfolded, I realized that no words could stop them. “Hurt people hurt people,” and this was beyond my control. So I’ve decided to write this letter to myself instead. A radical act of self love and forgiveness to galvanize the truth that I already know... . Dear Past Leah, This last year has been such a huge growing experience for me and has taught me more than anything that humility, gratitude, and truth are such important values for me to have in my life. . I just wanted to write you this to let you know that you deserve so much love and fulfillment in life. I see you in the future living a life with peace, spirituality, imagination, compassion, and hope. To see you thriving would make me overjoyed for your success; and I have a sense that what you need will come to you at the right time. You deserve to feel supported and not to be spoken about negatively, but it’s ok if people don’t like you, I LOVE you. It’s ok if people try to spread rumors, the TRUTH always prevails. It’s ok if people try to break you, the TENDER HUMILITY of your heart will allow you to roll with the punches. You can never be dimmed. YOU ARE LIGHT. . I’m thankful for the years we spent together and all the lessons we learned. I’m thankful for the laughs we had and the tears we shed. I’m thankful for everything that happened. I’m even thankful for the heartbreaking ending. Please know that I’m rooting for you and I wish you the best things in life. I say this with so much humility, gratitude and truth... goodbye. Better things are needing my focus now. Love, Me #goodbye #gerberdaisy #values #truth #justletmebegreat #letgo

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Look for ways and means to love yourself more. Be in a good relationship with yourself, only then you will truly know what you want from your partner. Understand your needs and wants which will help you figure out the relationship that you want. Realize the value of yourself, you will be able to love yourself even more. You need to be in a good relationship with yourself before you want to build a relationship with your future partner. Never curse or demean you for the failure of your past relationship.

13. Be optimistic And Forgive

You might feel that you will never find love again or will never fall in love again. But the truth is when the right person walks in, you will know. Never lose hope, have faith in yourself so when the right guy comes along wonders will happen. You might have your own fear and insecurities about starting new again but always be prepared for the unexpected. Never be scared of falling in love again, have a positive outlook on life. It might seem like an impossible thing to happen but as time goes by you will be able to fall in love again.

Forgive your partner for not being there for you. Forgive yourself for not being to hold on to the relationship that you had. Never hold grudge or hatred for the things that you can never control. You can never control your partner's feelings or your feelings for that matter. Things change and so does your feelings for them. So, forgive and accept that the relationship was never meant to be. Move on with your life. As time goes by, you will be able to build faith and hope and you will be able to fall in love again.

14. Write A Positive Letter To Let Go

Now that you might feel a lot better after all these stages, the last thing to do will be to write a letter to yourself. Make it as a goodbye note and give it a happy ending. All things come to an end and so does your love if it was never meant to be. Make a note of all the positive things in your letter, which you learnt from your breakup. Nothing could teach you better life lessons than a bad breakup. Use your pain as an opportunity, make it useful and understand that it helped to reconnect with yourself. You will slowly realize that you have started moving on with your life and that you have completely healed. Though the initial stages might have been painful the later part is always good as you get to know yourself better. Once you are done with making a note about your transformation you will find life to be a lot better. You will see things clear. You will know what you want. You will feel accomplished and all your pain will just be a memory.

Life Is Good

It might have been hard to go through a breakup but patience and time will transform you into someone you never hoped to be. Life throws challenges at you but you must know how to turn them into your victory. Life is short so make sure that you make it a good one. Never waste your time, and tears for the one who never really appreciated the real you but just saw a bunch of flaws in you. Be courageous and face your fear of being single and make that a fun one. As the saying goes - your life is in your hands, you can either make it a happy one or a sad one. The choice is always yours. Letting go might have been a painful process but life is actually good after that. You need to wait for the one who will be able to accept you for who you are. It might seem like the impossible but nothing is impossible in our world. Anything can happen and when it does it will bring you great joy and happiness.