10 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Man With Kids

Questioning whether or not you should start dating a man with kids? Well, there are some things you may want to know before you make your decision.

By Maxwell Leahy
10 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Man With Kids

10 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Man With Kids

You like a man with kids and you want to date him. That's perfectly fine but there are a lot of things you should know and take into consideration.

You've fallen for a man who happens to have kids. Maybe it's someone you knew or you knew this all along but something about a family man attracts you for some reason. Whatever the case may be, dating a man with kids may be a little hairy, although not impossible. You're just not sure if it's a good idea or bad idea. You can't help how you're feeling. Well, we're here to help. There are lots of things to consider before really beginning to date a man with kids. Your schedule, your interests as well as his schedule and his interests, among many other things. Below are ten things you should know before dating a man with kids.

#1 - Dating May Not Be On This Man's Mind

It doesn't just come down to what's on your mind, there's a lot going on in his mind too. More so than you if you don't have kids in this situation.

Kids Always Come First

You know this man has kids but you love (or like) him and want to start dating him anyway. You need to know that in almost every situation the kids will come first. Some advice or tips before doing anything: find out if dating is on this man's mind in the first place. A man who has kids might have dating much farther from his mind than you and you may not have considered it. You are setting yourself up for failure trying to impose yourself on a man with kids, not knowing if he is even ready to start dating yet. Some advice you might want to adhere to is notice when you're around him if he's talking about anything that might hint on his impression on dating right now. If a man talks about his kids a lot and how much time he spends with them and everything else going on in his life, he may not be ready to start dating yet. Give it time and see if after a while he shows signs he may be ready to start dating. Don't bring it up until you know it's the right time or you may be rejected and find yourself in a worse off situation.

#2 - This Man May Not Want To Be Dating

You might not be able to tell but he may not be considering you as a prospect or anyone for that matter.

Possible Content

There's a difference between a man who isn't thinking about dating and a man who doesn't want to be dating. In love and life, this man may be satisfied and feeling he has all he needs. He might think ill of ever dating again. You have to know that since this man has kids, he had to have been with another woman in the past. Maybe he had a bad relationship, maybe he's had enough of dating and just wants to live out his life taking care of his kids. His kids may be the number one priority and all he wants to do is make sure they can have the best life possible. He may be sacrificing his own time so his kids may have and live a better life. It's definitely something to think about.

#3 - The Man's Kids May Not Like You

Unfortunately for you, things are not always picture perfect. He has kids and maybe you're around a lot. He probably turns to his kids sometimes to lend an ear when you're not around to get their thoughts or opinions on you.

Being Unaware

When it comes to a man with kids, you have to know it's not just about him. He has kids too and this is something to consider. No matter what the both of you are feeling, his kids may get a certain vibe from you or may recognize something this man does not when it comes to you. It is quite possible that his kids may not like you. When he is considering dating, he may be looking for tips or advice and that's where his kids come in. If his kids do not like you, then your chances of dating him are very slim. Always consider this and be prepared if this ends up being the case, as unfortunate as it may be.

#4 He May Not Like His Own Kids

His kids can act strange for what seems like no reason. You've caught on to this and start wondering what could be the matter. Odds are there is something underlying here.

This poor little one has not been well the last couple of days. School week 1 = sickness 1 Caught his first school bug. Didn't even last a week! High temperature and coughing.... any cold always seems to result in asthma ☹️ #badmum forgot to pick up the spacer from kinder and #baddad has moved the home kit (spacer and ventolin) to a 'better' spot! Such a better spot that bad mum couldn't find it and sent bad dad to get a kit at 3am yesterday morning! Us #badparents have learnt our lesson.....Don't send your kids to school 😂😂 #onthemend #asthmasucks #tiredboy #lethargic #notfeelingwell #24hourpharmacy 👍🏻#alfaberry #picketfence #hangingoutathome #photo_collective #momentsinthesun #cool_kids #aussiemodels #kidsmood #coolkids_club #portraitkids #posterchildmag #littleonemagazine #babiekinsmagazine #minifashionblogger #poshkidsmag #kids_fashion_blogger #kidfashmagazine #portrait_vision #vogue_kids1 #kidsportrait

A post shared by JOSH💥Boys Fashion Model💥 YAMG (@joshua_dayne_official) on

Apparent Or Not

As sad as it may be, the opposite can be said. You can never rule out the possibility that he may not like his own kids. Maybe he had his kids with a woman he later ended up despising and maybe because of that he despises his own kids as well. Maybe he was left to take care of these kids because the woman he was with was less responsible or up and left and now he's left with no choice but caring for them himself. He could have also put up an act when he was with his ex and maybe in actuality, generally doesn't like kids. This could also explain why he is single. At the moment you may both like each other but he doesn't make this known to you and then it hits you suddenly.

#5 - Kids And Dating May Not Mix

It might not be as easy as you once thought. He has kids, you know. Dates and other outings may not be as simple as when it's with someone who's single and doesn't have those parental responsibilities.

Tampered Times

Let's say the love you are feeling for a man with kids has you wanting to make it work when it comes to dating. You may propose the idea of dating to him or he may ask you out thinking it's a good idea. You come to find out that this man may not have options to let you enjoy the quality time you want to spend together. Not to say his kids are a burden but he is their caregiver. They might be with him more often than not and maybe this is something that's getting in the way when it comes to dating. You really like him and want to spend time getting to know him but his kids are making it near impossible. You get interrupted a lot, matters come up that need to be taken care of, and he may need to leave or go places at unexpected times. This can leave you very aggravated and an emotional wreck when it comes to dating a man with kids. You may even find him at one point saying that it's not working out. A few tips to help you out is to have time and patience, know when the best times to go out are, and come up with suggestions or solutions so when you guys do decide to go on a date, maybe there's somewhere he can take his kids to be beforehand.

#6 - This Man May Have Had Many Past Relationships

No man and no woman who has kids hasn't been in a past relationship. They could very well have had many or multiple past relationships and if you're looking towards a man with kids then you have probably had your fair share of past relationships too. No matter what you should have a very good understanding of what this can mean.

More To Think About

Knowing the things you may not know when it comes to dating a man with kids may be a very important step to take before actually dating him. His past relationships may not be apparent and out of clear sight. He could have had many past relationships and some may still be haunting him. Many past relationships can equate to many things. One thing to consider is, his kids may not be with only one woman. This can mean he has a lot of baggage or he's not very good when it comes to dating and relationships. You may want to seek some kind of advice before proceeding with anything at this point or try to learn more about him before possibly jumping into anything.

#7 - His Feelings May Differ From Yours

Feelings come in all different forms and capacities. You may feel one way for somebody but do they feel the same? They could or could not. It's best to find out or at the very least try to gauge feelings when finding yourself falling for a man with kids.

The Scale

You can make it known or have your feelings convinced you love a man who has kids but he may not exactly feel the same. You could be in completely different situations and he may be okay with dating you but that doesn't mean he shares the same feelings. There is nothing that feels more terrible than being with someone who's feelings differ from yours. You need to think, when it comes to this, it could make for a one-sided relationship. You put in a lot of effort but things don't necessarily seem to be going the way you wanted them to or thought they would. Maybe he's keeping options open or he makes it clear his kids are much more important right now. You need to be okay with this. You need to know how to deal with this scenario.

#8 - He's Too Busy Or Has Too Many Obligations

One thing that really hits home about a man who has kids is what exactly his schedule is like and how it works or coincides with yours. Everyone is busy when it comes to life, to a certain degree. Some have more responsibilities and a lot more going on, especially a man with kids. It's always a good thing to see if he will have time for you before anything else.

#busy #deanwinchester #with #babys 🍼🍼🍼💕😙💕😙💕💞

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More & More

Wanting to date a man who has kids may not bother you and he may be all for it, however, there may be too many things he needs to do on a given day. Ther are things he's obligated to do. He might just be too busy. He has his kids, family, friends, work, and all of life's problems getting in the way. He might want to make room for you but he just can't. He has to get his kids off to school and pick them up later on. He has work during the day and needs to make arrangements for his kids if he's not available. Maybe he has two jobs because he's a single dad trying to support his kids. He may have a mix of kids older and younger. Some might need more attention than others and some may be going through phases. Maybe his kids are as busy as he is and he needs to somehow make the time of day for them more so than for dating. You get the idea. There are just so many complications when it comes to kids and many different factors that affect how busy he may be. Many things become impossible with a busy schedule, including dating.

#9 - He May Have Ulterior Motives

You will find in life that things are not as they seem sometimes. You look at a man who has kids that he is taking care of and think he is someone you'd want to be with and make you happy. However, as much as you like him and he may or not like you, some men with kids may be with them for a profound reason.

It is the capacity to feel consuming grief and pain and despair that also allows me to embrace love and joy and beauty with my whole heart. I must let it all in. Another paradox. The opposing weeks, ok. The opposing days, cool. Sometimes those are better because it's quicker relief from the harder longer days coupling together. But the opposing hours or even minutes are enough to make you question if you yourself are losing your own damn mind. Stabbing pain ➡️ Numbness. Crying ➡️ Laughter. Immense guilt ➡️ It wasn't my fault. Angry at him ➡️ Pissed off at myself. I'm not ok ➡️ I feel great! This isn't so bad ➡️ This moment is unbearable! This won't last forever ➡️ I want it to last forever! He left me ➡️ He is always with me. Real joy ➡️ Hopeless grief... When you are in one state, the other feels false. It's enough to make you question your own sanity at times. Those are the times I feel I need to write most. Once the words are down and released into the world they immediately lose their intense power. Lord help us. #paradox #efthis #griefsucks #griefquotes

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His Intentions

Dating a man with kids isn't as simple as dating a man without kids. You're okay with him having kids and by having you around he might find some relief knowing he can use you to his advantage. He might see you as a way to get more free time to himself or less overall responsibility. It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't like you and it doesn't completely mean it's intentional, but it could be. Does it really matter? You start dating a man with kids and he uses the love you have to get away. This could end up hurting you in a serious way. It's never out of the question though. You should seek tips and advice when it comes to this so you can easily recognize when this is going on. Odds are if you're being taken advantage of you're not going to know it. Look for hints or signs or things reoccurring. There could be a pattern.

Do You Both Have Kids?

This man has kids and at some point, it could even be right away, he's going to want to know if you have kids. When it comes to dating in adult life it's a very common question to ask in and out of dating and it may matter a lot to him whether you do or don't. At the same time, it might not mean anything.

#10 - He May Be Looking For Something Else

Situations

Dating a man with kids can be a good gesture but there's always a chance you're not exactly what he's looking for. Before dating you should find out what he is more keen on. He may be more keen on dating someone else who also has kids. When it comes to situations where you are dating someone, there is not a more comfortable feeling than knowing the person your love is yearning for is also in the same situation in life. This doesn't mean dating you is out of the question but he might want someone else with kids so his kids can have new friends or someone to play with. As for you, you might have second thoughts when considering this.

Final Tips & Advice

Remember when it comes to dating a man with kids your best bet is to be as straightforward with him as possible. He's a man trying making a living and taking care of his kids. He just wants to find the one for him and eventually settle down. You could be that one but you need to be absolutely prepared for it. At this stage in life, he probably doesn't have the time for anyone who's not completely serious.

Tips/Advice

(1) Know exactly what you want when it comes to dating. (2) Know exactly what he wants when it comes to dating. (3) Take into account he does have kids. (4) Let him know if you have kids or not. (5) Understand he may have a lot on his plate. (6) Have patience. (7) Make your intentions clear. (8) Help out with his kids to a point. Don't let him take advantage of you when it comes to child care. (9) Learn to love his kids as much as he does. (10) Show respect towards him for any unexpected things that may come up. (11) Be prepared for any outcome that may occur. (12) Don't let feelings cloud your judgement and decision making.

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