How To Stop Being Codependent In Your Relationship In Order To Take Control
No one likes being stuck in a codependent relationship because this allows a person to feel a surplus of different emotions and feelings when it comes to being in a relationship. We are here to let you know there is a way to change things, but this will require that you are ready and prepared to do so. Let us get you out of that codependent relationship and get you on the path you wish of being independent and still in a strong and loving relationship - if so desired.
Stuck in a relationship where you feel you're too co-dependent? Do you feel that you have no control over your own life or yourself? It's probably time for you to figure out what you need to do so you can stop being so co-dependent in your relationship. You might be feeling this way because you feel as though you're not doing enough or that they're letting you know in some way they're doing more than their fair share of the work. This may make it seem like being co-dependent is the end of the world, but it's not. There are ways to change things and you'll need to be willing to step outside your comfort zone and start doing things a little differently.
Being co-dependent in a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing. However, it can bring up certain habits, and that can make you feel insecure. When you're in a co-dependent relationship, things are never a fifty-fifty split. Your significant other becomes the parent of the relationship, and they can often seem very controlling. You don't want that, and this behavior needs to stop before things spin out of control. You may think of them as a narcissist of sorts but to find answers, you'll need to find out how to stop relying on them so much and start being more independent. Often, easier said than done but stick with it, and you'll soon be on your way to being less co-dependent and more reliant on yourself. This article will help you and give you some advice as to how to do so.
Look inside yourself to see what you are truly feeling and in time you will figure things out but you must rework per say, the inner struggle, first.
Ask Yourself Questions
What's really bothering you about this? What is it that goes on that you feel you become this way? Is being co-dependent more your own doing or your partner's? Part of overcoming this ordeal will be to see where it stems from so you can have more of an idea of what to do. The way your feeling is something a lot of other people have experienced as well.
What It Means To Be Co-dependent
Being co-dependent means to be in need of someone or of someone's help more times than not. People who are co-dependent may or may not know exactly what it is they need to do to stop being in a relationship where they feel they are near powerless. If you are so co-dependent you are relying on someone else more often than not; you may even feel trapped.
Being co-dependent means, you are relying on your partner a lot more than you would rely on yourself. Co-dependency can also mean a lot depending on how you look at it or who's looking at it. When it comes to your relationship, the habits that develop can give the impression to other people that what you think you may have is not something you want for yourself. You don't want anyone to think you can't take care of yourself or that you're not carrying your weight in a relationship. Learn what you can do to stop this. No more being insecure and under someone's controlling nature. It all comes down to you being able to take care of yourself if the situation were to arise. Would you rather be seen as someone who can or can't take care of them self?
Why You Want To Stop Being Co-dependent
Being co-dependent doesn't give you the control or satisfaction you feel you need sometimes. While some people may not mind or it may not bother them being co-dependent, it can become a problem that's more apparent at any time. In your case, something needs to be done and soon. Why sit there and think that you are so co-dependent when you can start working on ways to being a little bit more independent? More control, fewer insecurities, and more positive ways to becoming your own person.
There are many obvious reasons you want to stop being co-dependent and more independent. Being less co-dependent means being more independent as a person. It means being more of your own you. There is no better feeling than knowing that if it comes down to it, you can manage on your own. The less co-dependent you are in a relationship, the better. Become the own parent of your relationship or yourself. Learn how to have the less controlling, less insecure, and less narcissist side of your relationship.
Breaking The Habits
Co-dependency comes with a lot of unwanted habits that you may be used to all too well by now. Habits are by no means easy to overcome, but to become less co-dependent you are going to need to overcome all the habits that contribute to it.
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Before becoming more independent in a relationship, you need to figure out what habits you have or what you tend to do that makes you so insecure in the first place. Having habits can be okay, but there are good and bad habits. Time to look at what you're used to doing and starting to do those things a little differently. Notice things you do on a daily and avoid doing them and things you normally don't do start doing more. It comes to a point when you know or get that feeling you shouldn't be doing one thing and should be doing another. Part of being less co-dependent is doing less of what your used to and doing more for yourself, in general, offsetting what you normally don't do.
Stop The Behavior Of A Narcissist
When in a co-dependent relationship never forget that the way you are feeling might be due to a narcissists behavior. If you don't know if your partner is or not, just never thought about it, now might be a good time to look further into it. Try to figure out if the partner in the relationship displays narcissistic behavior.
Having a relationship where you rely on someone else so much can bring up possible narcissistic behavior in your partner. Whether they mean for it to happen or not, if they get the feeling they are doing more or all when it comes to the relationship, they can become a little full of themselves. You need to recognize this behavior and put a stop to it as soon as possible; else you will always feel the way you do in the relationship.
The very first thing you need to figure out or deal with when it comes to being in a co-dependent relationship is realizing if there is narcissistic behavior, where it is, and how to stop it. Someone who knows you are relying on them for a good much of what you have or the support they give is bound to take advantage of the situation if they are at all a narcissist. Recognizing what aspects of the relationship give them a more controlling behavior and make you feel insecure is good at helping put a stop to it. To start showing that you don't need them as much as they thought you did take everything you do less of and somehow make it more of what you do. Make it more of part of what you do. Sometimes it will be more costly towards you in ways, but if you want to be less co-dependent, you need to do this. Become more a parent of yourself. Just know that you need to be ready to make any possible sacrifices towards less co-dependency.
How To Stop Doing Less And Start Doing More
All part of depreciating a codependent relationship is recognizing what the fair share point in the relationship would be. Take into account what you would need to do or how much more you'd need to do to feel better about it all.
Look at what you do and realize that you may do things now but you are not doing enough. To get more control you need to take the things you do now and the things you don't do and put them all into one. You need to start taking more care of yourself by doing more in general.
To be the parent of yourself on your way to a less codependent relationship look at the things you feel you could do more of yourself. Maybe this narcissist has you thinking in the relationship that you absolutely need them and you can't do things for yourself. Well they are completely wrong. Maybe they do things that you could do without them. Take up doing more. Maybe they clean up after you, clean up after yourself. Maybe you have transportation troubles and they drive you everywhere, start using taxis and buses more often. Maybe they do the shopping for you. You do the shopping at least half the time now. They very well may make most, if not all the decisions. You start making the decisions more. To do things more for you means to show others that they don't have to do as much. Meaning you are on the right track to being less codependent and more in control.
More Controlling And Less Codependent Behavior
Sometimes when being in a codependent relationship you develop a way of being controlled. You might not notice it at first or it may take a while to really hit you but once you it begins to come to your mind, you know it needs to stop. The control you feel will only get worse if you keep allowing it to happen. You need to know you have control too.
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You may be uncomfortable with this at first but think about things for a minute. What if you were to flip a switch and show you could take control and be less controlling? What would this help your significant other see in the relationship? What would their take be? To show someone their potential wrongs or help you with your feelings it's often best to demonstrate to them how they can be to help them gain a better understanding. This doesn't mean to be a jerk or anything. Maybe start telling them how controlling they can be. Tell them of their habits and behaviors. Make them realize how insecure someone can feel when they have to rely on someone else too much.
Don't forget that when it comes to being in a codependent relationship the more you allow certain things the less control you will have. Your best course of action is to start taking charge more. The more you take charge the more in control you'll be.
Talk To Couples You Know Such As Your Parents
It's always good when you need guidance in something to seek out people who may be able to help you or give you advice to what you should do on a certain matter. Asking never hurts.
Maybe there is a someone you can find who has been in a similar situation or knows someone who has that was able to overcome codependent behavior and become a happy couple. Relationships are built on the basis that the two people in it are on even ground. Truly happy couples will at one point have found a middle ground. Anyone you know who might know or been through such an experience might be able to give advice or help you with some of the problems you have with codependency now.
When it comes to codependency and relationships talking to couples you know such as friends or your parents who have experience can give you good insight on how to not be codependent in your relationship. Maybe even one of them was codependent on the other for a while and it was something they had to overcome. Whatever the case may be if couples you know are happy, they are probably in a more well rounded relationship. So looking towards them and asking questions may be a good idea to help you out.
Talk Things Out With Your Partner
You will need to think carefully and compile all the problems you are having with your codependency when you confront your partner. Make sure you have everything you need beforehand to take on the bigger problem and talk out the issues.
One of the best things you can do at a certain point is talk to your partner about the relationship. If they can't be accepting you will never be happy. Things need to be better for you. Let them know what's going on. Let them know the feelings you have of being codependent and how much they are eating you up inside. They might not even be aware or are just so used to their way of doing things, that they don't even realize it.
Part of stopping unwanted behavior or being less codependent is talking to your partner at some point and letting them know what you are feeling in the relationship and things that need to change. If you love each other as harsh or as much as they may not like it, they'll be sure to understand and after time be willing change and maybe let you overall do more in the relationship or at the very least, help you so you'll be able to do so.
Get Out Of Your Overall Comfort Zone
One of the very most important things you need to do in order to be less codependent is getting out of you comfort zone. Just like most things in life, you can have everything set in you mind, you can have all the various ideas of how to go about things but if you do not get out of your comfort zone, things aren't subject to change anytime soon. You definitely don't want this. So make sure you are doing what is necessary otherwise you will more than likely always be codependent to a degree.
Get Out There
All that's left for you to do is go out there and work towards the change you want to make. Start doing more all around and in general, can help take your mind off things and move towards the progress you want to make. Being codependent and becoming less will not happen on it's own. Look in and out and see where you can start making improvements and start doing things so your partner will do less. You will eventually find the middle ground and be in a more even relationship. You will be happier you did as well.