How to know if your man is passive aggressive
Staying with passive aggressive men is what leads to violence. Therefore, it is important for you to know what signs to look out for when in a relationship with such a man so that you can always be safe. A woman needs to protect herself all times and that said, should never have to worry about hostility from a person who is supposed to protect and care for her. Some of the signs of passive aggressive men that you ought to look out for include the following:
1. Passive aggressive men keep playing the victim
If your husband has passive aggressive traits, there is no day that he will accept his shortcomings like a real man is supposed to. Even if it’s his fault that something happened, he will always play the victim and that will wear you down. Even if you genuinely loved him at first, you’ll soon realize that the love you have for your husband is starting to dwindle. More often than not, he will always do something intentionally because he knows you’ll get pissed. For instance, you might not like the way he leaves his socks on the floor or dumps dirty dishes on the kitchen countertop. But instead of changing his ways, that is exactly what he is going to do just to make sure that you are pissed. He will then spin everything around and make it look like you have a knack for starting fights all the time.
2. A passive aggressive man loves blame games
When a man is passive aggressive, apart from playing the victim, he will always find ways to blame others for his shortcomings. For instance, he might blame you for being sacked from his job and give you a laughable reason for it. He might say you are stressing him out and it takes a toll on him. He might not tell you how you stress him out because he knows he doesn’t have any tangible evidence. Therefore, you should take your time to analyze his behavior and realize that men like these aren’t meant to be dated because passive aggressiveness is just a step away from becoming violent. When all is said and done, men possessing such traits should never be in relationships.
3. Sabotage is a sign of passive aggressiveness
One of the many obvious signs of passive aggressive tendencies is attempting to get revenge without getting physical. So, he might end up breaking your favorite china intentionally and not even apologize for it. You ought to realize that if your man breaks something that they know is valuable to you they should move mountains to make things right. But in this case, he will just stay quiet as he watches you agonize over your broken china. And the sabotage doesn’t stop there, as far as your passive aggressive man is concerned - he will continue doing so until he achieves his goal, which seems to be known only to him. And whether you love him or not, the best thing for you to do at that point would be to walk away. Love shouldn’t be the reason for you to stay in an abusive relationship.
4. Passive aggressive men press buttons often
Passive aggressive men kill their own relationships through provocation. If your husband happens to be passive aggressive and knows all of your weaknesses, he will always use them to push you over the edge. And as soon as you react in an unprecedented manner, it will always be your fault because you seemingly “stir up arguments”. The thing about passive aggressive traits is that they are all interconnected. For instance, men will passively press your buttons so that you lash out and then they blame you and act like the victim. You should take note of everything that is going down and ensure that you make an exit before further damage is done to you, either physically or mentally. Passive aggressive men, or people in general, drain a lot of energy from you and you will almost always have a difficult time enjoying life when you're around them.
5. Passive aggressive men are overly sarcastic
Still on the mission to get under your skin and evoke an unpleasant reaction, the “love of your life” will always be sarcastic. For instance, if you're trying to hit the gym and lose a couple of pounds, passive aggressive men might say something mean under their breath that will kill your motivation almost instantaneously. It is always a bad idea to hang around passive aggressive men because they will always look for ways to kill your spirit. And the reason why sarcastic comments from passive aggressive men will hurt you is that they were probably thinking about it for a while. More often than not, their sarcasm is usually derived from your worst insecurities. Therefore, it is almost impossible to progress when you have a passive aggressive man by your side, which is why you need to get out!
6. Passive aggressive men procrastinate a lot
If you are in a relationship and your husband possesses passive aggressive traits, you’ll always wonder why you aren’t progressing. The thing is, passive aggressive men always give up before they even try something and will be vocal about it. Ask him to fix the drainage and he'll instantly complain about not being a qualified plumber. He might be rude and ask you if he looks like a plumber. If you finally get him to agree to do a simple job, it will take him forever. And if he ever gets around to doing it, you’ll regret asking him in the first place because the job will be shoddy as hell, even though he might have the necessary skills to do it.
7. Sulking is a strong trait of passive aggressive men
Long stretches of silence and sadness can be draining, especially if your man doesn’t want to explain whatever is going on. If this happens to you, then chances are you're in a passive aggressive relationship and you need to get out as fast as possible before this man hurts you.
8. You can't get help from passive aggressive men
As stated earlier, passive aggressive men might know a thing or two but will not be willing to share their knowledge or expertise. These men might say they can’t do something but what they are really trying to say is that they won’t. Always pay attention to these men's facial expressions and if they are truly passive aggressive, they will look as though you are a bother. More often than not, these men won’t even have the courage to look you in the eye.
9. Passive aggressive men say “Yes” to mean “No”
Nothing destroys love more than passive aggressive traits because more often than not, you won’t fully understand what your partner is trying to say. If you ask him to check the food as you change the baby’s diapers, he will say yes but not even lift a finger. This is one of the most common signs of passive aggressiveness that shouldn’t be ignored, especially if it's a recurring trait.
10. These men are the kings of the silent treatment
Communication is a very important aspect of a relationship and without it, your relationship will be doomed. It's also something that a passive aggressive husband will attack day and night. He will always ignore you and make sure that he is agitating you for as long as he can so that you end up being the one to start a fight. If you notice that your man is starting to get a little bit petty and giving you the cold shoulder, try to sit down with him and talk about it. Sometimes it might be because he just wants some space or something has happened and he is not comfortable talking about it. And that is why having a serious sit-down talk is very important because, if he's not passive aggressive, you'll get to know all about it for sure. If it persists, then the best thing to do is to seek help from a professional. If that doesn’t work, then you already know what you must do. Leaving before it’s too late for you is the best option.
11. Passive aggressive men have that provocative look
Have you ever walked into a room where people look like they are having the time of their lives only for them to stop almost immediately and give you an odd look? Feels weird, right? Well, that’s the kind of feeling that a passive aggressive man will want to achieve with his woman. And for what reason? No one knows apart from him. He might be enjoying himself immensely but as soon as he sees you, he'll replace the jolly face with a glum, irritated look. And when he does so, he'll always want you to know that you are the cause of their sudden discomfort. And woe unto you if you choose to start an argument because you’ll be branded a killjoy for starting a snafu whenever you have the chance to.
12. Passive aggressive men are emotionally unavailable
As you might have already noticed, passive aggressive men only have one goal: agitate you to the core. And since they know jolly well that women need attention both physically and emotionally, they might just choose to make themselves absent. As a result, she might be so hurt that she'll want to talk about it, which will only make the situation worse. Therefore, it's very important for women to always keep an eye out on how their men behave. But one thing about passive aggressive people is that they are very good at hiding their true emotions at first. The latter point is why one needs to be extra careful because you don’t want to be on the receiving end of your husband's spite. If you love him, try to talk to him and see what happens. If he isn't willing to talk and this kind of behavior persists, it would be wise of you to call it quits before he starts getting violent.
When someone is passive aggressive, it just shows that he or she is capable of being hostile but is still in the process of deciding when to be violent. That means that the earlier you can detect their passive aggressive signs, the better because you might be able to dodge a bullet. Passive aggressiveness is something quite serious but often overlooked and that is why many women end up on the receiving end of a tantrum. If you are dating a man with such problems, try to get him help from qualified psychiatric personnel. And if he isn't willing, which is highly likely, then it would be in your best interest to pack your bags and leave before it’s too late. At that point, your life should be your number one priority.