Hurts To Love? 15 Signs That Show You Love Him Too Much
An excess of anything is bad and love is no exception. You love him so much that you would move mountains for him. Isn't that a scary thought?
Jul 24, 2018
How it is affecting your love!
Your mind is filled with only one thing, and that is him. You are trying too hard to please him and make him happy. Your morning starts with his thoughts and ends with it as well. Sounds sweet? No, it doesn't; it's rather scary. If you're a woman who loves your man so much it hurts, have you ever wondered if your actions might suffocate him? You are obsessed with him, and to be frank, that obsession has nothing to do with love. But, don’t worry and start thinking of yourself as some crazy or psycho lover. No, dear, you are not crazy either. There are a few reasons why you might be a little too in love with your guy. One of the major reasons behind your obsession with your love is that you were never in love before. You have so much of love in you, and you want to shower all those love on your boyfriend. Your intentions are good, but the way you are handling your relationship is not acceptable. If you possess this kind of love for your boyfriend, then it is a concern. But believe me — you are not the first person to be in this situation and you definitely won’t be the last one either.
Loving so much can hurt
Why does love hurt? Love only hurts you when you don’t deal with the love properly. Every relationship has its own boundaries. You might beg to differ, but we all know that there are times when we hurt our near and dear ones just by being overprotective. Our intentions are pure, but we seemed to have forgotten that we need to stop ourselves from intruding in their personal time and space. Sometimes, these kind of love is bad for you as well. Wondering how? You are most likely to forgive your boyfriend if he is cheating on you. You are too scared to think of your life without him. If he knows that, then he will easily stray away from you, and when he needs you he will be back to you with a sorry face. He knows very well that you will accept him anyways. Don’t do that to yourself. You can love him immensely, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop loving yourself.
Your partner is afraid of your love
Your guy knows that you are completely obsessed with him because of your actions and concerns related to him. But he is too scared to show that he is uncomfortable with all the attention you are showering on him. If you thought that he genuinely enjoys the extra attention you give him and will love you more, then you are highly mistaken. Is this a healthy relationship? No; neither of you are on the same page. He can be the center of your universe, but how do you know that he is reciprocating the same amount of love to you? You are too busy showing him that you love him so much. Have you ever let your feelings take a back seat and analyze whether he loves you as much or not.
1. So much of love in the air
Love is the most beautiful yet complicated feeling one can have. If both of you are investing the same amount of emotion and feelings for each other, then it is beautiful, but, on the other hand, if one of you feels drained by taking care of the other, then your love needs a second thought. It is important that both the partners take care of each other and love each other without making it obvious. Girl, if you are overdoing things, then stop right away. If he is not feeling happy or maybe he is all grumpy and uncommunicative then let him be. He is an adult; he knows how to fix things. Your love cannot be the solution of every problem of his. Whenever you see him sad or worried about something, you run towards the kitchen to prepare his favorite meal. Yes, that might help, but if you are not responsible for his woes, then let him handle on his own. You shouldn’t go around doing stuff to boost his ego or make him feel happy. He is not your kid, he is your partner. You must be thinking that would be rude if you leave him all alone with his worries. You should try and cheer him up because you love him so much. Yes, that would help once or twice, but if you turn it into a ritual, then girl you are actually stepping into the shoes of his mother. If you want to show him the motherly love, then be his guest, but if you want him to consider you as the goddess of love, then you must stop nurturing him like a baby.
2. You are giving away so much
Are you the one who is always giving away things? No, it is not bad to shower your love with gifts, but in your relationship, if you are the one who is always the giver, then it is not a good sign. Relationships sustain when the emotions are mutual. So, if you are surprising him with gifts, then he should also reciprocate and show you how much he loves you. How can he accept your gift without returning the favor,if he claims to be in so much of love with you? These gifts can be small or big, but the fact is that the gifts should be exchanged between people who are in love. Sometimes men take advantage of this emotion and will leave you empty by the end of it. It is not only about giving gifts; rather it is also about giving away emotionally, physically, and spiritually as well. You cannot say he loves you so much that he is completely dependent on you in every aspect of life. No, he is not. He is actually sucking away all you have to give and one day when he finds out that you have been drained out, he will smoothly move on to someone else. So, put an end to this.
3. Loving him more than he deserves
We have been trained since ages to believe that men are superior to women. But, we all know that the statement doesn’t have an ounce of truth to it. Still, some women love to think that way. They will do everything possible to make their man believe that they are the decision makers of the home, even when their decisions are wrong. This is not love, my dear. By doing so, the girls are actually degrading themselves and hurting their self-respect. So, don’t do this to yourself, try to love yourself. You can decide for things that you are good at and let him decide on things that he is good at. When you are standing equal, then only you will have a smooth ride in your love relationship.
4. He loves to play with your heart
It is never a good idea to let anybody play with your heart. If he loves to do so, then get a hold of yourself and show him the door. You might like the way you are being victimized, but girl it is doing you no good. If you think that by allowing him to do so he will love you or stick with you, then you are wrong.It is not love, it is more like abuse. He doesn’t love you or care for you; instead, he is just using you. He is a creep and he must be shown his place. Don’t cry over him. You deserve better because you are one of the few girls who know how to give love.
5. So much of attention bestowed on your love
We all know attention is important in love, but not at the cost of your own time. If you are giving him away so much of attention that you are not left with any, for your own, then it is high time that you bid goodbye to your love. Don’t hurt yourself or your friend’s feelings, then you need to rethink your love for him. If you don’t love yourself, then who is going to love you? Your friends are your rewards in life and don’t take them for granted. In order to show your love towards your partner, you cannot hurt your own friends. Compromising your ‘me’ time to make time for your partner is simply unacceptable. You must be thinking that your guy will miss you or will be hurt if you are not around all the time, but get a life lady. Really! Do you think so? Then, you are far from reality. Your guy would love to have some space of his own. Moreover, your friends are the ones who loves you and are always there to advise you when the thing is not running smoothly. Then, why would you be rude towards them when you are around the love of your life.
6. Hold your love accountable
Don’t you think that the person you love should be held accountable when he is doing something wrong? Why is he going around guilt-free after hurting you? He should be answerable to you for his rude behavior. If he has hurt you, then he should mend things with you and make you feel that it won’t be repeated in future. There are times when we think that our guy has the right to hurt us physically and emotionally when we are in love. But, that should not be the case. If you don’t hold him accountable for making you cry, then most likely he is going to repeat the same mistake and will make you cry again. Punishments are one form of love and trust me it can be the sweetest form of love too. It depends on how you handle the situation. You can make him realize how grave his act was and how hurt you were with his act by punishing him accordingly. Physical or emotional abuse can be detrimental to your relationship and you must cut it out in the beginning only if you want a relationship filled with love.
7. Geting away with your excuses
Why are you making excuses on behalf of your love? If he is not feeling like doing something let him come out in the open and face the situation. Why on earth are you allowing your love to hide behind you while you face the flak? It isn’t healthy and don't cry when things will go complete haywire. If he is always embarrassing you in public by doing or by saying something stupid, then don’t make excuse or defend his action. You don’t have to put up with all these. It might be that he is simply taking advantage of your love and kindness and getting away with all kinds of shit.
8. Your career isn't important
At one time or the other, many of us have gone through this situation where our partner’s dream and career seemed to be more important than ours. Our love would come up with thousands of excuses to show us that their career is important may be because they are earning more than us or maybe because their opportunity is better than us. Yes, compromise is an important factor in building up a relationship. But, if it becomes a habit, then it is not good. You love him and that’s why you agreed to step down, so next time when an opportunity comes knocking on your door, your love should return the favor as well. If he does that, then it’s good, otherwise abandoning your goal for his love is not a good idea. Don't cry over spilled milk; act fast.
9. Giving in to his desire
Lovemaking is a way of expressing love when both have the consent. If you are being forced to get intimate just because your partner is in the mood, then it doesn’t reflect love. When you are giving in easily just to satiate your man’s ego, then the sacredness of the relationship is at stake. Don’t submit to the love of your life, if you are in no mood. You have to make your love understand that you are not a toy and lovemaking is not just about the act, it is the exchange of emotion too. SO, what’s the use of getting intimate if you are not able to connect to your love emotionally?
10. Love for your money
He is always asking for money and you are actually meeting all his demands without asking your love any question. Are you an ATM? Why are you allowing your love to take advantage of you? You are working hard to earn that money and your love is just taking it away. Your love doesn’t value your hard work else he wouldn’t have used your money to meet his requirements. Show him the love you have for him, but don’t show him the money. If you do that — girl, trust me — he will go for the money and spend it on someone else behind your back. Take control of your finances.
11. Pushing his limits too far
There are times when it is good to make adjustments to accommodate your partner’s wish. But, if you are making a habit of doing so, then it is not acceptable. His friend is in distress and you accommodate him at your place for a day or a two. You are helping his friend out. But if he starts staying there like a roommate, then it is a disaster. Letting him know that he needs to pack his bag and get going, is a good decision, but if you are allowing all these just because you are scared that your partner’s emotion will get hurt, then babe what about you? You are putting up with all these nonsense for days and you are still not reacting, this doesn’t show your love towards him, rather it shows how loosely you handle your boundaries. This allows him to push the envelope as per his likings.
12. First to say 'Sorry'
In a relationship, the person who has committed mistake should say sorry first. But, in this case, if you are saying sorry every time you guys fight, then it gives out a wrong signal to your love. He will start thinking that he can get away with anything he wants. Even if he makes you cry, he won't feel sorry about that either. You will mend the ways and get back to him anyways. By doing so, you are pushing yourself to a sorry state and nothing else. You don’t prove or show your love this way; instead, you are encouraging him to blame you for all the wrongdoing even when you are not at fault.
13. Giving away all good things too soon
It is a popular belief that you should save the best for the last. If you give away all the good things away right in the beginning, then most likely he will lose interest and walk away from you. You can get physical, but only when you feel like doing so. If he asks you to show your love by getting involved physically, then you should not give in to the idea. It doesn’t prove that you love him just because you agreed to his desires. It is not equivalent to love.
14. Taking care of his beauty needs
You are giving the love of your life a pedicure and manicure over the weekend is a sweet gesture. It truly shows how much you care for him and how lucky he is to have you in his life. You are so giving and caring, but hold that thought for a moment. Does your love reciprocate the same feeling back? Are you receiving the same amount of care and love in return? If yes, then carry on. Don't stop that. You can book him an appointment for a salon session if you want, but don’t do it yourself. Get him involved and make sure he's pampering you, too.
15. Cleaning up for him
He makes a mess everywhere he goes, and you're left to clean up after him. If this describes your everyday life, then your guy is probably looking for a replacement of his mother and not a girlfriend or life partner. If you're cleaning up his messes every once in a while, don't worry. That's normal. But if you are doing it on a regular basis, then he won’t realize what all you have to do all throughout the day, and he will start (or continue) taking you for granted.
Love is all about mutual respect. You can go to any extent to make your love life happy, but you also need to realize that if the feeling is not reciprocated in the same way, then you might be holding onto a wrong man.