How To Determine If You Like Him Or Just The IDEA Of Him

Let's help you sort out your feelings by giving you clues on whether you do like him or you just like the idea of him. Just check out this piece to find out.

By Emmanuel Onitayo
How To Determine If You Like Him Or Just The IDEA Of Him

Liking Him Vs. Just Liking The Idea Of Him

“Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.” - Frida Kahlo

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Truth be told, one can really get sometimes confused about whether one actually likes a guy or it's just because one is lonely and wishes to put up with a guy. Emotional entanglement is bad, and it happens when one gives one's heart out to someone before defining one's values and priorities in a relationship.

It compares to going to a large supermarket with plenty of dollars in your pocket but no exact list of what to buy. If care is not taken, you might not get value for your money in the end because you might just end up buying so many things you actually don't need.

Granted, as females, we are mostly emotional and love to have a guy we can call our own. In most cases, we can almost tell if a particular guy is our type or not; but in some cases, we get confused as to the genuineness of our feelings and those of the guy we are attracted to. The big question when we have that guy in our life that we find hard to swallow and at the same time difficult to vomit is "Do I really like him?"

Most times, these ones appear to us as partly devil and partly angels, but their supposed angelic parts seem so alluring that we want to turn a blind eye to their other sides. Hmnn, that's understandable but may be very risky. That's because our hearts are too delicate to be toyed with. Love is not and should not be an experiment. It's a decision just as much as it's a feeling too.

So, before you take a decision of love just because of your possibly temporary feelings, it is good to undergo some self-examination and assess what your true feeling is. Love is a quiz that only you can answer for yourself. Someone else cannot take the quiz for you. As such, what we would be doing here is to give you tips on how to assess yourself with this "quiz," so you don't get to regret later. We shall, therefore, commence with highlighting some signs that you actually like him.

You Do Like Him If...

1. He Represents Your Ideal Husband

Yes, we know we are not talking about marriage here; but can you just take some time and provide an answer to this quiz? If there is a decree right now converting every guy you seem to be confused whether you like or not to your husband, would you be happy to have him as your husband?

While believing that you are sincere with your self-evaluation, if it is in the affirmative, then you definitely like him. However, if there are doubts in one way or the other that you consider too significant to ignore, it's no doubt that you only like the idea of him. Better let it be that way.

The point is simple; there is no sense in dating a guy you know cannot be your husband. It's absolutely a waste of time. Just keep enjoying the "idea of him" and don't put yourself into any coffin in an attempt to get attention.

2. You Don't Have Worries Submitting To His Judgment

Now, here is another test to show you actually like him; if he holds an unpopular belief about his career, family, love, or any other subject, do you still see through his vision and believe he must have a reason for his position? If so, you definitely like this guy.

A guy you just like the idea of would most easily fly off your thought when his ideas and ideals contradict those that are popular or considered realistic by the society. It takes something more than just being lonely and craving attention to believe in such guys.

3. You Without Him Looks Gloomy

If your closeness with him has reached a level in which you seem to dread his separation from you, what does that tell you? Of course, you want more than just his attention. Most likely you actually like him. While it is true that anyone can appear to fulfill this requirement, only a guy you truly like would make your heart pant when you think of a possible separation between the two of you.

A common litmus test for love is to see if you can live without a partner or you only can live with them. Get the point right; there are many people we can live, play, eat, or associate with but only a few of them have won such an impressive spot in our hearts that we feel doomed to lose them. Such ones are the ones we really like.

4. You're Okay With Him Knowing Your Secrets

The moment you start feeling comfortable telling the guy things you would think twice before telling even your female friends, it has gone beyond you just liking the idea of him. You are pretty much into him. 

You know why? That's because no matter how lonely you are, you would still find it embarrassing or unsafe to discuss certain things in your life with someone you are not deeply in love with. If everything you want from them is just their attention, you would most likely be holding some things back from them.

5. It's Hard To Get Him Off Your Mind

This may not be a standalone point to stamp the submission that you like him. He might just be a cool, generous, and east-to-be-with guy, and those features are what keeps attracting you in him. But if you have tried severally to get him off your thought or avoid him but it seems not to be working, babe, it's good you agree you are damn into that guy.

You are most likely connected to him more than the usual quest for attention most lady craves. Love can actually be ravaging sometimes, and the fact that you cannot seem to forget him no matter how hard you struggle to do so means you like more than just the idea of him; you actually like him.

You Only Like The Idea Of Him If...

1. His Absence Does Not Move You Much

It's only an idea of him you like if once he is out of sight, you can pretty much get him out of your mind. That is, you are only glued to him when he is within your reach. If any effort that would require that you sacrifice your comfort to get him would likely not be welcomed by you, that should tell you that your affection for him is not deep enough. 

If you really like a guy and you consider him a perfect man for you, then, you would not consider any sacrifice too great to make to reach him. The fact that you can easily forget about him with the least effort suggests that it's only the idea of him that you like.  

2. You Are Not Totally Comfortable With Him

1 year ago. #Cincinnati

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So, today you want him, tomorrow you see your closeness with him as possibly a mistake? The reason is that he is actually not your type. There is something about him that is not going right well with you, and your spirit being is signaling you to take note.

In this type of situation, it is better you caution yourself from becoming very committed to him. Fine, the guy might seem to like you, and you are thinking of giving him a chance; but then, the mere fact that you have some reservations about his person should make you reconsider your position.

3. He Is Not Sufficient For You

The most important •👫• Какие качества для вас важнее всего в партнере? У меня наверное такой список требований🤓: 1⃣ Честность 2⃣ Ум 3⃣ Чувство юмора 4⃣ Стремление к саморазвитию 5⃣ Доброта Кстати, возвращаясь к предыдущему посту про отношения, скажу на своём примере, что экраверт и интроверт точно могут ужиться. По вчерашнему тесту я на 65% первый тип, а Макс на 75% второй, что определенно на нас сказывается. Конечно же столкновения характеров случается часто, но мы всегда разговариваем о том, что нас волнует или не устраивает, и после бури наступает затишье😁.

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The guy you really like would appear to be your world and everything. You would hardly see him deficient in anything or area. Granted, the guy isn't perfect; but you would see him as such because it's not just the idea of him that you like, you actually like him too.

On the contrary, if it's only the idea of him that you like, there would be some needs of yours that he would not be meeting. In fact, the more he puts effort to satisfy you, the more you seem not to be satisfied. You simply need more than he's got to offer.

4. You Don't Mind Not Chatting With Him For A Week

So, let's say you only feel your intense desire for him when you are lonely or passing through a disturbing phase of your life, he's probably more of a big brother or counselor to you than a guy you really like and want to be with. The guy you like would not only be a counselor but your best friend.

As such, as a sign that it's just the idea of him that you like, you would find it easy to stay days without sending him a text or even calling him. Of course, this does not mean that you no longer have regard for him but because your gut is seeing him as just a friend or accomplice of some sort.

Final Thought

There is a surely a difference between just liking the idea of someone or having a boyfriend and actually liking a person. One is usually terrific and short-lived, the other may take time, but it's last-longing. When you actually like a guy, you would have lesser things to worry about concerning him. But where it is only the idea of him that you like, you would not be settled in your mind concerning him.

In making a decision that affects your whole being such as this, you need to consider and reconsider your feelings. It's not everybody that one likes that is good for one. Some people are actually best at being a friend, while some are good at being a counselor. As such, it would be nice to listen to your inner self and follow your gut.

Sincerely, if you would listen to yourself, you can reasonably conclude whether it is just the idea of him that you like, or you really like him. Hopefully, some of the points highlighted in this piece would help you to clarify what your true feeling is. Remember that feelings can be deceptive and unstable; so, walk with facts.


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