What is DM?
DM or direct message is a Twitter post sent to another user and no one, except the recipient, can see the message. Direct messaging is a form of a one-on-one conversation between two people. For you to send a DM to a girl, she must be your follower. Conversely, you must follow her to receive her DM. Note that a DM needs less than 140 characters, so you have to be careful not to send broken messages. At the right-hand corner of your Twitter profile is a link to direct messaging and from there you can choose the girl you want to have a conversation with from the drop-down menu. After typing your message, simply hit the send option and there you go, your girl will receive the message. Another way you can do it is by going to her profile and clicking on the direct message menu on her page and following the same procedure as above. A DM is a private message and only the two of you can see it. You will know she has sent you back a message if you see a blue glow on your ME icon.
What is the best way to DM a girl you like?
Do you want to know what a girl finds enthraling as far as direct messaging is concerned? Making comments on every selfie she posts on social media would make you look like you idolize her! So, do you start with the casual ‘what’s up?’ or ‘I think you are beautiful, can we hook?’ Your main aim is to slide into her direct messages. But how can you slide into her DMs in a pleasant manner? Here is your guide.
Rules For Engaging In DM With A Girl
1. Confidence is key in a DM
If you understand yourself, then you know your worth. If you doubt that you are good enough for the girl, chances are that she will reject you. She will not accept a man who will come to mess up with her life but rather one that will stand up for her amidst challenges. You must show a high self-esteem when chatting with her online, especially because no one else knows what’s going on between you two. The internet provides wonderful privacy and there is nothing you should be afraid to talk about.
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2. Proofread the conversation
Before you hit the send button, find out if there is any mistake you need to correct. Girls are meticulous creatures and they can judge you based on the smallest of mistakes you make. Like you would go over your essay before submitting to your teacher, ensure that your DMs are flawless - from grammar to the coherence. The point is not trying to impress her with your grammar, but rather proving that you are a responsible and careful person. Only send a message when you are sure that you’ve got the game right.
3. Know the girl first
To succeed in sliding into her DM, start by establishing a friendship bond. If you tweet her two or three times but you don’t get her replies, she is sending you a message that she is not interested. If that is the case, try a flirty conversation on a regular basis and she will be more welcoming. Ensure that the girl is open to direct message slides. Then find out if she is dating or interested in men (you don’t want to bother a lesbian though).
4. Find out if you have common friends
Mutual friends will work in your favor as you try to know her on Instagram. In most cases, girls check for mutual friends whenever they are approached by guys. She will open up to you easily if there are familiar people in your social world. Since online scamming is rampant these days, she would feel safer if she has a follower who follows you too. Then you can move your online crush to a real date if it works in your favor.
5. In case it happens, take rejection with maturity
She might not be okay with the concept of DM slides; in which case she won’t reply or tell you directly. There are many reasons she might not want DMs, for example if she is a celeb with millions of followers and has got no time to reply everything! Do not be like the creepy guys who turns out violent and abusive if rejected. You will end up liking like a jerk. Just move on to find another fish in the sea of social media.
6. Wait for replies
If your first DM goes unanswered, do not compose anymore. Never try to confront her on her public wall for not answering your messages. You should neither talk ill about her, nor humiliate her because it’s not her fault that your seductive game failed. Be a gentleman and handle her silence with maturity. Again, if she takes too long, do not push her to reply to your DMs. There is no need to bombard her inbox with messages; you will seem desperate.
7. Know exactly what you want with the girl
Are you looking forward to establishing a romantic relationship with her or do you want her to be one of your flings? Maybe you are too far away to meet her. Do you think your fantasies will become reality? Making your intentions clear in her DM will help you know if she is interested in you or not. How will she know what you are offering if you don’t put it in a conversation? This does not mean you spell it out in your first message; take some time to know her well. Just ensure that the DMs reflect your real interests. If you are a little creepy and just want to take her to bed, do not be overly romantic: you will break the poor girl’s heart. The key is honesty. For instance, you cannot make any promises if the two of you live in different countries.
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8. Get rid of the junk stuff
Your online conversation with her must be as natural as the in-person talk you would have. Text her like you would speak to her in public, at least for the first few chats. Later, you can steer the DMs towards the flirty stuff. You must know whether she is willing to take the conversation to a sexual level or not. Try to maintain the conversation between normal and saucy. Girls don’t like to be rushed, be it in bed or normal talks.
9. Maintain a minimum thirst
You would look so desperate and creepy sending her ‘good morning sweetheart’ message every day. She will know it’s a copy paste which you use to every girl on your Twitter. To make her notice you, you have to be unique because there are many others trying to woo her. Keep your thirst to a minimum level and play a cool game. Forget about generic subtleties and use exceptional vibes. If you don’t have that much of swag, maintain a casual conversation.
10. Know you are not the only guy in her inbox
A girl’s inbox can range from an empty desert to an overcrowded venue. A beautiful girl has countless suitors trying to have their way into her VIP arena. In case she has a thousand followers, she must have a lot of messages to reply and so you cannot coerce her to answer your DMs immediately. If you want to come on strong, make sure that you compose unique messages as opposed to commoners’ clichés. It may sound obvious, but upstaging other men sometimes means having a decent talk with the girl you have a crush on. Say good morning, show your admiration, and do not ask obtrusive questions.
11. Initiate an in-person hook-up through DM
Online communication is a good way to start a romantic relationship, but you need to make sure that your chemistry works in reality. It is possible to develop feelings over Facebook, but the real chemistry is established through one-on-one meetings. If your DM cannot lead to an actual date with your crush, consider it a waste of time. Real romance happens offline. The Twitter or Instagram medium is simply an introduction but you need a real date, eventually. You cannot just stay in the social media state - go for the kill. Don’t make it a fast hookup though: arrange for an in-person meeting when you are comfortable with one another.
The Don’ts Of Sending DM To A Girl
12. Don’t double message your girl
You message her on Instagram and the next minute you are on her LinkedIn inbox. If she hasn’t replied on Twitter, what makes you think she will on Facebook? Stick to one platform for your DM slide tricks. If your messages are not returned, there is no need to feel depressed because there are many more girls who would appreciate you.
13. Do not stalk on the girl
If you know so much about this girl, you would seem creepy talking to her concerning her information. A good idea is to pretend like you know nothing about her. Even if you saw her passing by the mall, do not scare the girl by explaining what she was wearing. She will feel like you are following her, making her feel insecure.
14. Don’t be creepy
Not all women on social media are the same. Have some courtesy, be respectful and polite. Making weird observations about her body parts is wrong. This girl is a real individual, so talk to her like a person and be keen on her response cues. In case you flirt and she flirts back, then you know you are on the right track. If she doesn’t laugh at your craziest jokes, she is not interested and you might want to back down. Pay attention to her responses and show kindness and respect. All you need to avoid being creepy is be authentic. Stop trying to perfect every line or situation. Showing interest in a woman is not a ground-shattering undertaking, so own it up according to your natural feelings. If you think she is hot, simply let her know in a simple way and ask if she can go out with you on Friday night. Avoiding being creepy means dropping any sort of pretense. You don’t need to sound too cool and she will appreciate your real compliments. The problem with most men is that they worry too much about their image, which they fear reveals their true selves. If you are completely genuine, she will find it refreshing and you have more chances of being accepted.
15. Do not blow it in the DM
The right way to have a personal conversation is to keep it witty and funny. Sounding too serious can be scary. Therefore, look for non-serious, but unique stuff to talk about. Avoid common pick-up lines and creepy picture. Rather, compose witty and smart messages to keep her smiling all along. She will respond to you well if you use an approachable tone.
16. Do not be too eager
If you find her attractive, you don’t need to display too much enthusiasm. Be mysterious and you will challenge her. Sounding too obvious makes you look desperate and kind of creepy. If you want to meet her, do not beg. Be patient and respect her decision if she declines.
17. Do not be naughty
The main reason why most women refuse to engage in DMs is sexy talks. A girl might take the flirty slide as harassment. Ensure that you respect her wishes and try the naughty talk with another girl, who doesn’t mind. There is absolutely no reason for you to impose a dirty talk with a girl who doesn’t want it. Just because one woman in your Facebook likes your nude pictures doesn’t mean that every other woman wants the same. It would be very inappropriate if you sent your manhood photo to a girl who hasn’t requested it. If she wants to get naughty, she will let you know. You might disgust her with your unsolicited nude pictures and end up being blocked. It is not that she doesn’t appreciate your six-pack and biceps, only that she finds it weird to talk about your body as an introduction. Conversely, if you like her body figure, don’t go too far expressing your desire. Keep your internal voice to yourself and make non-sexual comments for starters.
18. Don’t go TMI in the DM
You cannot put everything you need to say in a single message. Who told you she wants to read a long paragraph from a guy who wants her? Keeping it short is elegant and she will understand you better. Too much information will give her the impression that you are quite some work or complicated. No woman wants to put too much effort into a new guy she just met. It is okay if you fall hard her, but there is no need to tell her a thousand times. Short messages are sweet and sound more direct. And if you need to ask her questions, do not be like a job interviewer - she will get bored.
19. You cannot compel the girl to answer you
If your message is not in a form of question, she is not obligated to answer it unless she wants to. Sometimes she may not know how to answer some difficult questions and she is definitely not a mind reader to know what you are looking for. Make sure that you are not forcing her to answer if she is not interested. Avoid thought-provoking questions that will bore her.
20. Do not approach a social media slut
This is a vital tip for you if you are a virtuous man. It is exciting to meet a girl online but falling for a social media slut is worse. Do not go for a woman who seems to take her promiscuity in the social media platforms; yet her profile reads that she is looking for a God-fearing man. If she posts selfies of her boobs and other private photos, know that you are dealing with a bad girl. Be wise and take caution when DMing such a woman. A messy woman is more likely to mess you up. You better step back and try your luck elsewhere.
Final thoughts on sliding a DM
Mastering the art of direct messaging (DM) a girl in this new era of social media is not easy. But if you can take your time to consider several factors, it is not as complicated as you think. Unlike in the past where you had to have a personal connection to take a girl out, today you can reach out to whoever you want through the internet and start a romantic relationship. The right way to DM a girl is by honesty and avoiding any creepy conversation. Be the best prince charming you can be if you want her to take you seriously. There is something you should know: the first thing a girl does immediately after she gets your DM is to analyze the kind of guy you are, your intentions, and most importantly if she should continue with the conversation. Make sure that you make a good impression in your first message as it is the maker/breaker aspect. Aim at doing it right at the entrance and the rest shall fall into place. You now have the keys. The ball is now in your court- make a home run! And, rest assured, you will win!