8 Unspoken Golden Rules of a Flirting Relationship

The secret rules of a flirting relationship that everyone knows

By Evelyn
8 Unspoken Golden Rules of a Flirting Relationship

The true definition of a Flirting Relationship

Flirting has been around for a while. Everyone at some point has flirted without consciously knowing it. For some people, it comes naturally and for others, they really have to work on it  What is flirting exactly?

Flirting is a fun way of getting to know someone. Have you met with someone on the park, on a bar or on the subway that you found attractive and wanted to talk to him and see if it there's more to it than just the good looks? Well that's what flirting is for, it's part of our natural instinct that helps us in the process of "kissing frogs until we find our prince". wink 

That ladies could be the meaning of a flirting relationship and we do that on a regular basis, it doesn't matter if we already are in a relationship. To flirt with someone doesn't mean that we want to start something there, most of the time is just fun, right?

Flirting is a way to find our life partner, you should be able to enjoy it and have fun with it. There's some science backing what flirting is and the reason we do it. Take a look.

Relax... it's natural

We do some flirting whether we realize it or not. Even if you're in a committed relationship and you don't want to flirt, well, you already do. Don't be ashamed of it, it's natural. 

It's not just winking, we've evolved in the way we flirt

Maybe that's how it was done in the past but now we have a more subtle way of doing it. For men, they tend to puff-out their chest when talking to someone they find attractive. Have you noticed this? Pay attention next time, you'll see.

For women, it's all about the hips. When you're walking past someone you find attractive your hips may start to sway more than normal, there's your flirting. 

We all (according to gender) flirt the same way

In a study conducted by a phycologist (T. Perper) and an anthropologist (D. Givens), the body language of women and men in a bar while flirting was studied.   

They concluded that the majority of women have the same body language when they're engaging with someone they find attractive: hair playing, lots of smiling and giggling, gazing and hip swaying. The same happened when they focus the study on men, the lot of them have the same behavior while flirting with women they find attractive: back arching to reveal their chests, sitting with legs spread open, loud talking.

There's momentary brain cell damage while flirting

That sounds about right blush According to a study conducted by Antonio Damaso, M.D. when we see someone we found attractive, our brain is sent into a frenzy that mimics the brain of a person with a certain type of brain cell damage. Our rational thinking goes out the door and we can't make coherent decisions. But don't worry ladies and gentlemen, that's just temporary. Thank Goodness!

So, what have we learned so far about a flirting relationship? That it's fun, it's innocent and it could be the first step in a long-termed relationship.

Now we're going to talk about some rules of a Flirting Relationship

8 Rules of a Flirting Relationship

While there's not a guidebook to flirting there are some general rules you need to follow. It could be something like "Do's" and "Don't's" of a flirting relationship. But remember that at the end of the day, you should do what's comfortable and natural for you, because maybe that person could turn out to be the love of your life.

Take a look at these 8 rules.  

1. Eye contact is basic, just don't stare

A glance in his direction is a must but shouldn't last too long, just enough so he knows you're interested. Don't stare, that could discourage him.

2. When choosing what to say, keep it simple

You have gained his attention, so he's coming to talk to you, what to say?! Keep the conversation plain and simple instead of trying to make a funny or witty remark, it could backfire and you don't want that.

3. Leave him wanting to learn more about you

In the middle of the conversation throw a little teasing, just be subtle about it so that you can keep him wondering and interested. That works wonders, try it. smiley

4. Humor is always appreciated

Humor, when shared, is appreciated and works like a bridge of understanding. It's no secret that men like for women to laugh at their jokes (we like it too when they laugh at our jokes). It's a good way to know if you click.

5. You can be a little touchy

Just be subtle about it, like a gentle touch in the arm or the hand. Guys appreciate that, 

6. Spontaneity is greatly appreciated

If you're capable of doing spontaneous things, you'll be a hit and will make an impact on him. You can fake them too, but if you're caught, it could definitely backfire on you. 

7. Be cool, don't act desperate

When flirting you don't want to seem desperate, so don't overdo it. If he flirts back, that great! but if he doesn't then move on, someone else is going to click with you.

8. Game playing is not recommended while flirting

We establish that flirting is fun, but be careful that you don't make it a game, someone could get hurt and that someone could be you. 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Is it healthy to flirt with others while in a relationship

If you're in a committed relationship, why would you want to flirt with someone else? Well, because, as we said before, flirting is fun and innocent and kind of natural if it's part of your personality. So that being said, flirting with others while you're in a relationship is okay and healthy.

What?! you may exclaim. Well, being in a committed relationship doesn't mean that you become instantly blind right? You could still appreciate beauty, smiley Flirting doesn't equal cheating, it doesn't mean that you're going to ask for his number or go out with this other person you're flirting with.

There is a fine line between flirting and cheating, so always remember to stay within the boundaries of flirting and you should discuss it with your SO (if you think it could be a problem). Because flirting does not mean that you're unhappy with your relationship, it's just fun. 

Just a couple more things while on the topic. Flirting with others can boost your confidence, knowing that others find you attractive can definitely make you feel sexier in your relationship. And finally just because you're in a committed relationship doesn't mean that the flirting between you two should stop, on the contrary. So next time you're out, hit on him, that'll keep things fun and exciting and healty.

A healthy flirting relationship with your girlfriend

Guys, you should definitely flirt with your girlfriends if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. Ladies a reminder once in a while is called for, a lot of couples don't flirt with their partners once the "honeymoon phase " is over. They become comfortable and settle and forget that playfulness that brought you together in the first place.

So don't let this happen to you, we'll give you some reasons so you don't let the flirty and fun side of things go down the trash.

1. It's fun

Guys flirting is not a chore, it's fun. A good flirt with your girlfriend like saying something sexy or witty could put a smile on her face.

2. It's a spark rekindler

Remember those early days when a lot of flirting was happening? Well, keep doing that so the spark between you both stays alive.

3. It's a reminder that you're both worth it

Flirting will make both of you feel good. What could be better than to have a confidence boost from your partner? Never a bad thing.

Having a flirting relationship online

Not comfortable doing the flirting face to face? Don't worry technology has your back, you can have a flirting relationship online. smiley Does that sound like something you want to try? Just remember that the concept is the same, flirting should be fun, exciting and innocent. 

Since during this kind of flirting you'll be talking or messaging through a device (computer, smartphone, tablet) you won't be able to use your body language to let him know you're interested, you'll have to be creative with your words, just remember to be subtle, it could be the difference between getting his interest or getting blocked.

If you want to try and do the online flirting and be good at it, here are some tips.

1. Write the messages that way you talk

You're not writing an e-mail to a colleague so loosen up. Write your thoughts like you were saying them to the person in front of you. 

2. Don't use pickup lines

These are the worst! Please skip them.

3. You need to set boundaries

An online flirting relationship can get into creepy territory if you don't set boundaries. If the conversation is making you uncomfortable say it, if it doesn't get better you have the option of ending it and/or blocking him.

4. Keep some mystery

Don't reveal too much too soon, your profile has some info that should suffice for those first messages. Keep the conversation fun and light-hearted, it'll keep him wondering.


A flirting relationship is a fun, exciting and innocent way of meeting new people, so you should try it once in a while because maybe one of them turns out to be "the one"., just remember to follow the rules. 

If you have found "the one", keep things exciting and fun by keeping the flirting alive! wink

References: Psychology Today


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