8 Reasons Men Don’t Tell On Why They Love Cougar Women!

Why men are so hush about their desire to get older women

By Sophia R
8 Reasons Men Don’t Tell On Why They Love Cougar Women!

The Attraction of Cougar Women

Admit it, most of us find it normal when, in a couple, a man is older than the woman or both are the same age. A relationship where the man is younger was not even something widely accepted in the past.

Fortunately, today, people have a more open mind, and things like age difference no longer play an important role when it comes to talking about love. According to an in-depth survey conducted by an online platform, it was found that 27% of young men are attracted to older women. The same survey also revealed that 9% of single people would probably look for couples ten years older or younger than themselves. I bet you didn’t even think the numbers were so large!

8 Reasons Men Don’t Tell On Why They Love Cougar Women!

It may seem surprising, but many men are attracted to older women for different reasons. It is just that they basically keep it in secret and say nothing about it. We have decided to shed some light on this mystery and help you understand what men find so attractive in older women and why they hide it so much. Stay tuned for 8 reasons why men don’t tell why they love cougar women!

1. They won’t admit they don’t want drama

We all know that cougars have way more control of their emotions and situations than younger women. Their experience in life is such that they have learned that it is not worth wearing out for such simple things. 

For Example, rewind a little bit to your past life and think about how one of those young exes of yours would react if she had sent you a WhatsApp message and you would have seen it, but not answer it. She would have gone nuts, am I right?

Men want the opposite; a mature woman that no longer wears out with things as simple as these. Nonetheless, men hide that they want a woman that can control their feelings and situations because thanks to society, they are the ones that are supposed to have control of everything. Well, we are in 2020, and it is time to change that stigma!

2. They don’t want to get married

We all know the cycle of life: get married, have kids, have a family, die as a family. Well, many men don’t want that, but they are afraid to let people know because that isn’t how it’s supposed to be. They are just too scared of what people will think if they don’t follow that cycle of life society has set upon them. What is the solution then? Find an older woman that isn’t looking for a ring!

Most likely, older women have already gone through one or several long-term relationships. That makes them think that they do not need another similar experience. They already know what they want and they will prefer to appreciate the moment without going into so much conflict or expecting a lot from it and end up disappointed. So, ta-da! The perfect solution, the perfect thing to tell their mom: Mom! She just doesn’t want to get married! Nobody will be expecting that from a young man older woman relationship.

3. They don’t actually want to do everything for you

Older women possibly already have a career and even children. A mature woman never centers her life on a man or depends on him because over the years many of them have had to manage themselves and built their own lives. They are even attracted to the idea that they will have little to solve and that they need little financial help because in most cases they even have their own car and home, so they don’t really need anyone to do anything for them.

And men like that. It is mistakenly believed that men want and like to maintain women and provide everything for them. Why are they the ones that have to do everything in the relationship? Sometimes, they even look for the opposite. That is why many men prefer to have a woman that is already stable and that can do things for themselves: a cougar.

4. They are ashamed that they want to be taught in bed

It is clear that an adult woman has huge experience in bed, so it would greatly benefit any man that is looking to fulfill all their sexual fantasies with someone who knows more than them. And of course, they know what they want, how they want it and what they prefer. Many men are ashamed to admit that they want to be dominated and taught in bed. It is not a secret that society thinks it should be the other way around: always men leading the way and having control when it comes to sex. That is why they hide it.

As if that were not enough, men are attracted to cougars because they are women so sure of themselves that they do not think twice to have sex with the light on, for example. Their confidence is sexy to them. That is something many young women lack.

5. Their ego doesn’t let them admit they like authority

Authority is another feature that captures the attention of men. They know that an older woman with life experience is not going to let a man go over her. The older ones are determined and know when and how they want what they want. That control of women over men is a sexy quality. If you thought that men could not resist young and immature women, it is quite the opposite: experience, control, and independence can be a great aphrodisiac for men.

Why do they hide this fantasy then? Again, it is because, socially, men are the ones who are supposed to have authority over women. It can even be considered unmanly for a man to be controlled by his female partners. His friends might even make fun of him. Why not avoid that by keeping their cougar attraction a secret?

6. Their ego also doesn’t let them admit they need support

Mature women are much more understanding and supportive of their partners than younger women will ever be. If their partner is going through a bad time, they will not hesitate to offer moral and even financial support (if necessary) so that he can solve his problems. 

As it is believed that men are not sensible, do not suffer, and never need support, they will never admit that they want that from their female partner. 

7. They are ashamed to admit that they want to learn generally

Cougars also have an unparalleled eloquence that allows them to have fun and participate in an excellent conversation that will keep you entertained all day. They have lived more, learned more, experienced more, so they might know more than a younger person. 

If men date an older woman, their intellectuality will challenge them to discover new aspects of life. They will appreciate things about them that they didn't even know they owned and will motivate them to improve themselves. They are clearer when they express themselves, so don't expect detours from them: if she wants something, it will be frontal. They are real women who don't walk around the bush; If things go wrong, they will let you know.

All these characteristics are what men love from older women. But they will never say it because people think that men shouldn’t learn from anybody; again, it is just the chauvinist belief many people have nowadays.

8. They are ashamed to admit they want a female best friend

An older woman is the best confidant you can have; She will be there to take care of you, support you and offer her shoulder to give you strength in times of crisis. At their side, you can open your heart without fear of being hurt because they know how to handle situations correctly. 

Now, there is no way that a man will say that they want or need a female best friend. their ego just won’t let them, ever!

Will Dating Cougar Women Last?

In general, a relationship with a cougar has medium-term viability, so it is mainly bad. The passional phase of the relationship is usually good but, rarely, it is overcome,  and this happens for various reasons; 

The reluctance to make their relationship public so that, over time, it means that the alleged life project they had in common is diluted. In the event that they decide to make it public, they will face tremendous social pressure; society, yes, the same as modern that we have, does not yet accept that a couple says they want to enjoy their relationship without having children. That will mean that the young man will be influenced enough to break the relationship. On the other hand, the woman, rains criticism and ridicule. 

But, of course, we have sexual freedom. However sexual freedom is only accepted if a man of 43 is with a woman of 25, but not vice versa. This only makes us indicate that a certain chauvinism continues to prevail, in which men do not like women to climb the steps of social power. What is the problem? That the conglomerate of criticism, ridicule, chauvinism ... is transformed into a gigantic ball that drags the couple downhill and does not even come to consider coexistence, even to prove a point.

One more issue; the respective families, witnesses, until the moment of the formation of the ball, begin to take sides and do not see with good eyes that, neither of them, becomes part of the family of the other.

And, the fears come, especially, for the woman; fear that he will leave her for a younger one, fear that he doesn’t like her body, fear of not attracting him sexually ... and then the pathological jealousy comes and they see girlfriends, or possible girlfriends or possible friends, when her man speaks with the baker, with the saleswoman who sells a shirt or with another coworker. All this causes constant discussions and a climate of resentment which will imply levels of communication and understanding that are increasingly deteriorated since one lives in a  conflicting couple, without there being a clear position of each one regarding the relationship’s approaches. In this case, when the roles within the couple are very rigid, it is very difficult for the couple to move on and they will basically end up breaking at a time or another.

Related Article: Why Older Women With Younger Men Relationships Work
Why Older Women With Younger Men Relationships Work

Of late, we are getting to see older women younger men relationships​ popping up everywhere. Truth is, such relationships have a plethora of advantages.


Now that you have read this article, you might see that it is not fair for you to judge or have a negative view on men that are dating cougars. It is absolutely normal, and if you are actually one of those men, you shouldn’t feel bad or ashamed anymore! Live your life, love whoever you want, no matter the age, and be happy!


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