How Is Falling Out Of Love Different From Just Being In A Slump?
Life as a couple usually goes through a series of, especially critical points. We are talking about a crisis of growth, rapport, and maturation of the relationship. We could say that they are misleading that when overcome, strengthen the bond. These "normal" crises, once resolved, point towards achieving a stronger bond, a deeper understanding of the other person.
Now, how to tell if it's just a bump in the road or that there is no love anymore? When a couple enters a difficult time or routine, both parties are affected in a significant way. It is not that you are no longer attracted to your partner, it is that life as a couple is not attractive to you. As a consequence, your life does not satisfy you either, because you spend most of the time with the person you love.
There is a feeling of boredom and emptiness. When you see your partner you feel "butterflies in your stomach" but at the same time, you feel powerless to continue. If different activities are carried out as a couple, everything makes sense again and the illusion reappears, improving your mood.
When there is no more love anymore, we do not experience that feeling of boredom or emptiness. The feeling is more like disappointment, that there is no turning back. It is as if something that has always been there suddenly vanishes without a trace. You can even experience sadness and compassion for the other person.
7 Ultimate Signs You’re Already Falling Out Of Love
Couples in love seem to have the energy to do things with their counterparts. They want to please them and seek new and exciting adventures to engage them. If you don't want to explore the world with your partner, you may not want their company at all.
Couples in love want to be close as much as possible. Most can't wait to get home from work or the weekend to spend time together. Just going out for a simple bite to eat together can be satisfying. If you are routinely distancing yourself from your partner, you may not be in love anymore.
3. Need of privacy
Couples in love have sex more often to make love. They enjoy pleasing their partners in the bedroom, not only to boost their own egos, but to make their partner feel wanted, loved, and valued. And they look forward to it. They take pleasure in pleasing. They are genuinely interested in what turns their partner on and go to great lengths to obtain this information. If you don't like being around your partner and you're not interested in making love to them, there may be something seriously wrong.
Couples in love tend to keep a focus on their partner. They think about them often and may bring them little gifts just because they want to show them how much they think about them. They express concern when they think their partner is unhappy and try to address the problem as soon as possible. If your partner is rarely on your mind, let us tell you you are not in love.
Couples in love value their counterparts and are more likely to feel lucky to have found that person. True or not, they tend to think they have found their soul mate. If you feel like your partner is just another "fish in the sea," you're probably not in love.
In a relationship where love exists, both partners respect their counterparts. They admire them and support their efforts. Out of respect, they listen, negotiate, and compromise. There are fewer control fights and more teamwork. If you treat your partner like they have little to offer, you may not be in love.
What Does Science Have To Say? (Scientific Explanations of Falling Out Of Love)
Falling out of love is the result of brain activity. It does not mean that people stop loving from one moment to another, just like that. What happens is that the brain experiences, after a few years of having fallen madly in love with another person, a drastic reduction of the chemicals that encourage blind or passionate love, and inhibit critical judgment related to negative emotions.
To understand the causes of this disenchantment, you must first understand what goes through the head of a lover, because in both situations it is the brain that decides. "Falling in love is an almost insane state," says Georgina Montemayor, a researcher at the Autonomous University of Mexico (Unam), a specialist in what is known in science as the 'brain in love'. "Falling in love is a program that the brain has. And it is so powerful that we can say that it is a state of temporary dementia," she says, explaining that the chemical reaction of the well-known 'passionate love' does not allow taking reasonable decisions or make value judgments.
She refers to what happens in the head when people fall in love: dopamine is activated, a hormone related to happiness and pleasure, which permeates the brain and fills the person with a delicious sensation of love, well-being, and obsession for the other, related to an intense attraction and sexual activity. In this state, the expert warns, the functioning of the cerebral cortex is also blocked, which is the most evolved we have (located behind the forehead) and responsible for reasoning.
Several scientific studies have established that, when a person is in love, they spend 85 percent of their time thinking about the other. Dopamine accelerates the heart and respiratory rates, and is, in a few words, is responsible for the 'butterflies in the stomach'. This scientist ensures that this feeling can last between one and four years. No more. And when that crazy love ends, the human brain experiences a chemical function again. "We realize that this is not the person with whom we want to share the rest of life. We begin to see those defects that, because we are in love, we did not see or did not want to recognize," she says.
Is it Possible to Fall Back in Love?
Throughout the years, the couple's relationships transform their feelings until they reach a point close to the heartbreak that is very dangerous. It is a crucial moment in which you either think about the breakup or decide to keep the couple out of inertia. But there are also those who try to fall in love again with their partner. And we wonder if that re-infatuation with a couple is possible after many years.
Fall In Love With Your Partner Again
Yes. It is possible to re-fall in love with your partner after many years, it is possible to feel the butterflies in your stomach again, although this time without the surprise factor because you already know your partner well. But love can return, the spark can be ignited if there is affection and, above all, if there is an intention on both sides to make things work again.
How do I know if it’s time to leave?
When it comes to our relationship, if any of the following signs are true, we should sit down and talk to ourselves to assess whether it is the end of it or just a crisis. Because that way we can make sensible decisions, and not prolong the agony: there are flames that are extinguished and there is no way to fan them. It is much better, to be honest, and practice, be honest with yourself, be honest with your partner, and make a decision not to suffer or make the other suffer.
When you feel less and less generous, and more and more selfish, for example with your time or your resources.
When your way of treating the other person changes, and you are no longer so loving and kind.
When you no longer feel connected to one hundred percent, when you feel that complicity is lacking when communication with your partner does not flow well.
When you avoid deep conversations, when you have a hard time looking at the other person in the eye.
If you do not feel like having sex and avoid intimacy when the body responds coldly to the loving requirements of the other person.
When you want to see your partner less, you space out the encounters, you don't feel so much need to be with the loved one, you don't want to dedicate all your time to the partner, and you begin to place them in a secondary place in your life.
When you are absorbed by work and you are only worried about getting things done, and you use work as an excuse not to spend time with your partner.
When you are with your partner but you feel very alone. When your partner being with you feels very lonely.
When you also realize that you want to share more with other people than with your partner.
When you like someone else when other people attract you when you start to fantasize about everyone except your partner when you want to live a passionate romance and it is not with your partner.
The sooner the relationships that are already finished are ended, the better: we save many wars, a lot of pain, a lot of anguish and uncertainty: the challenge is then to separate with the love that we have left, and turn the relationship into a friendship if possible.
Or if not, in a beautiful memory that will accompany us for life.