Signs That Your Marriage Is On The Brink Of Divorce
Marriage life is one of the most beautiful phases in life. It is one which you live out your days with the person you love the most and if you have children it is even more fulfilling. In marriage, you learn that there are many moments of peace, joy, and wellness but in between, there will be times of hardships and if not handled properly, this could lead to misunderstandings and even separations and even divorces in worst cases.
Through the hardships, there are ways you can implement in your life to save your marriage and some of the ways are as follows:
- Make a list of all the issues that may be affecting our marriage. This way, you will be able to see clearly the roots of your problems. Focus on each one of them at a time with your spouse and you might even realize that these are not issues worth fighting over.
- Learn how to express your concerns constructively instead of rushing in and starting an argument with your partner who will then be arguing blindly. When you have differences, quietly express your underlying concerns, listen carefully to understand your partner’s concerns and then create a solution that is responsive to both your concerns and call it a win-win situation.
- Avoid bringing up issues in front of your children because this might negatively influence their decision making leading to another issue that would lead you to an unhealthy marriage. Instead, talk about the issues you are concerned about in your bedroom or study room or when the children are not around.
- Eliminate affairs, addictions and excessive anger issues from your marriage life completely. These are among the top deal breakers for a healthy marriage. If you notice any of these three issues in the early days of your marriage, chances are that these won’t stop therefore, it is wise to leave than to stick in what will turn to be an abusive marriage.
- Learn to make decisions as a team since collaborative decision making is highly likely to lead to more understanding of each other. A win-win decision making ensures your actions pleases both of you.
Below are some of the signs that your marriage is on the brink of divorce.
1. One of you has an addiction
This is something that not many people are willing to look past. Addiction tendencies could lead to resentment from partners and thus divorces.
2. Financial problems
Studies show that any divorce cases are as a result of financial problems. If you are hiding debt from your spouse, made some reckless financial decisions or you are constantly stressed over your financial status, these are factors that could lead your partner to divorce you if they find out.
3. Lack of conflict resolution strategy
In most cases, it is not a lack of good communication that leads to unhealthy relationships but the lack of effective conflict resolution.
4. Emotional disengagement
If your partner is disengaged emotionally, they will probably feel less loved by you. It is, therefore, to discuss your feelings with your partner whenever you feel the need to.
5. Lack of sexual connection
When a couple has not had sex for a long time, it is usually a reliable indicator that the partners do not enjoy taking pleasure in each other and that their bonds are eroding if not already headed for divorce.
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6. Treat her with kindness
This will soften your partner even in heated moments. Continuing to be a kind and loving partner to your wife even when she wants out will even foster a deeper level of intimacy.
7. Reflect what you love and appreciate about her
If your wife values your warm embrace and compassionate nature, it is likely she will do right the same for you.
8. Be good
In order to nurture a good marriage, you will have to nurture yourself and be good for yourself. In other words, get some "me" time and learn how to prioritize activities that will bring you close.
9. Involve her when making financial plans
Since money is one of the biggest stressors in marriage, making a plan with your wife will bring more understanding when problems arise.
10. Communicate with your partner
Instead of constantly fighting with your wife, take off your fighting gloves and talk with your wife. Understand each other and you’ll gain back your marriage life.
11. Do not criticize, name-call or launch verbal attacks
These are some of the reasons why most marriages fail, therefore, avoid such negative behaviors. When you feel like you are not being understood and you have no power over her and you should be okay with the outcome and handle matters in a more engaging matter.
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- Work on the problem. If you find the problem, work on it. Try to [rectify the mistakes you might have done in the past to clear path for a better future.
- Forgive each other. You both must forgive each other despite the differences you have. Saving the marriage means that both of you have to be on the same page and cooperate.
- Don’t be pushy. In order to save your marriage, don’t expect everything to be back to perfect at once. Just be a friend to your partner in order to live together in harmony again.
- Start with occasional dates. Look for opportunities to interact with your partner in a nice location and teat your partner with kindness and respect.
- Express yourself. Express yourself when you are with your partner. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your experiences with each other.
- I apologize for your mistakes. It is never too late to ask for forgiveness or say I'm sorry. An apology is seen as self-serving and not as a sign of heartfelt change.
- Consider your partner's feelings. Do not ignore your partner’s feelings and emotions. People make decisions emotionally and later justify them for reasons. Ignoring to considering your partner's feelings could worsen things. Instead, by considering your partner's emotions and addressing them appropriately will strengthen your relationship.
- Avoid taking one another for granted. Instead, you should show gratitude towards each other. Appreciate each other's presence and efforts they put towards reigniting your relationship. Tell each other how much it means to you that they did their little deeds and act like someone who values your relationship.
5 Recommended Books On Marriage You Should Read
1. The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate
You all know that poor communication is one of the leading causes of separation or divorce. This book is known to save many couples from a lot of miscommunication.
2. Love's Invisible Dance the 7 Keys to Authentic, Joyful, and Lasting relationship
This book helps you open a new doorway to new thinking and practices to help create relationships that are true, passion-filled, and productive.
3. 52 E-mails to transform your marriage: How to Reignite Intimacy and Rebuild Your Relationship
The writer gives the reader 52 easy email assignments that reconnect partners and help them be more connected, close and intimate again.
4. For All Eternit
This book is good for both newly married couples and older couples. This book mainly focuses on communication between partners. It also covers topics such as the art of giving an apology and solving disagreements using active and reflective listening skills.
5. For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women
This book is great for helping husbands get a closer insight to understand how her mind works.
A marriage can be saved when two people come together and stop thinking about themselves and their own feelings but rather, they should instead focus on the relationship. Instead of using “I “or “me” the couple should often use “we.”
Avoid blaming each other when issues arise. End the battles of right or wrong and don’t rush into judgment, this way you will be making informed decisions when matters come up. Irrespective of the number of years you have been married or lived together, always share your feelings and experience towards each other.