Husband is Controlling: 8 Ways to Gain Control

While part of a marriage, an alarming number of women tend to only see the good parts and therefore unwillingly ignore certain red alerts regarding their husband. Nobody says that a marriage should only be about hearts and butterflies, but when your significant other starts exhibiting some unusual patterns and controlling behavior, you should start asking yourself some questions.
 

Being controlled by your husband at all times is not only degrading for you as a woman but also unhealthy and can be the nail in the coffin for your relationship. Remember at all times that you should never allow anyone to tell you what to do and when to do it, with whom, regardless of their status in your heart. Don’t be easily manipulated by lies that want to make you think it’s for your own good. It never is, it’s only for his own comfort. So, this is why, in this article, we will be talking about some of the most obvious signs that your husband is controlling you and what you should do in order to avoid or repair this unpleasant situation.

A controlling husband will almost always exhibit some clear signs that he is trying to manipulate you according to his own desire. So, be on the lookout for some of the following signs that he might want to gain control over you and your entire marriage:

This is a clear sign that something is wrong. Usually, this happens because he feels insecure and wants to be able to see you at all times. Even if/when he accepts these plans, he always texts or calls you to check on you, almost obsessively. The worst is when he makes “surprises” and shows up uninvited under the false pretext that he missed you. Be careful!

This is definitely a red flag and if your husband threatens to hurt either you or him unless you do something that he wants, you should get some professional help. This is not a healthy behavior of a loving husband, but one of a psychopath that has become obsessed with being controlling.

Always having to prove your love for your husband is not healthy and should not be a constant worry of yours. If he does this, then he feels incredibly insecure and might want to control even how you feel for him. In case you refuse to do this, he might get very angry and/or violent. Definitely, a clear sign that he’s controlling and manipulative!

This is the apparel of a manipulative husband who does not have enough faith in himself and looks for ways to downgrade you in your marriage. Don’t fall for this trap and confront him whenever he tries to accuse you of this. Make him understand that it’s not true and that he has no proof of this. Again, you should definitely start looking for professional help because such behavior is not normal.

Moreover, you should be aware of certain behavior patterns and characteristics that a possibly controlling husband might start showing when he’s near you. Here are even more such examples that should get you alarmed:

A loving and trusting husband would never do that, let alone search through his wife’s personal objects. If he does that, if you have proof, or worse, if you even caught him in action, he will always deny the truth and instead accuse you of cheating on him. Never let him do this, especially if you are sure that he doesn’t have anything to worry about when it comes to your marriage.

Your husband should be your trusted partner, not your boss. Remember that you are nobody’s slave and you should never answer commands like a dog. So, if he starts commanding you to do things instead of asking nicely, tell him what your problem is and find a way to fix this together. If he keeps on doing this, then he is definitely turning into a controlling and manipulative partner.

Nobody says that your husband shouldn’t tell you when certain things are wrong and let you walk out of the house looking like a clown. However, there are instances when he exaggerates and keeps criticizing you for the smallest details. It’s like he hates everything you do and are but he’s still obsessed with you. It’s a rather confusing pattern, but one that characterizes a manipulative husband.

It’s the first and most important rule when you’re dealing with a controlling husband. Always be the calm one n these situations and try to calm him down too. Yelling at each other won’t help and it might even lead to domestic violence. Also, you are not surrendering if you do this, but you’re showing him that you’re not intimidated and not accepting his behavior.

Again, this is all about talking to your husband and making him understand that he seriously damages your marriage with his manipulative behavior. This discussion might make him stop. However, it may also be in vain.

Don’t start blaming yourself for what he tells you, but instead become the one who’s in control of your own life. Also, you can keep busy with a new hobby, get a new job, go out regardless of what he says, and be yourself. Never put yourself down because of his words because this means that he succeeded. He should never succeed.

A good idea would be to start going to therapy sessions together and try to fix the situation. This is, of course, if he accepts this and realizes that what he’s doing is very wrong. Unfortunately, your husband might not even want to hear about this because he thinks that what he’s doing is normal.

If all else fails, a clear warning might teach him a lesson. Tell him firmly that you will stop putting up with this behavior soon unless he changes. Offer him all the answers he needs and convince him that you’re not doing anything wrong. He should be mature enough to understand.

You can change your behavior too and stop pleasing him whenever he opens his mouth for fear that he might think something is wrong. Remember that you are not a slave but his wife and he should respect you. Teach him a lesson and maybe he will learn something from it.

This could also mean to keep your distance for a while. Not a clear separation, but a gap between the two of you so he can understand that you’re done dealing with his attitude. Avoid telling him where you’re going, do what you want, have fun, go out, all while keeping things decent and not cheating on him.

Finally, if nothing else seems to work, there’s no much left to do but leave him for good. Never stay in a marriage that affects your mental health and self-respect. Liberate yourself from this controlling man and find someone better. You are worthy and you are good enough, remember that!

All in all, having to deal with a controlling husband is no easy task. In fact, that is one of the most difficult and sad things that can happen in a marriage. That sweet guy that you once knew can turn into a control-freak in minutes and sadly, there are times when there’s nothing you can do about it. Still, the first step would be to try and work things out together and make him understand that he should stop. If nothing works, then you should not be afraid to leave him behind and go searching for a new and better life. After all, it’s your job to keep yourself happy.