8 Tips On Coping With An Unhappy Marriage With Your Partner

Learn How To Cope And Improve On An Unhappy Marriage Together

By Diana Nadim
8 Tips On Coping With An Unhappy Marriage With Your Partner

The Statistics On Unhappy Marriages In USA

A marriage is usually one of the most fulfilling things when its working and everybody is happy. However, when the opposite happens, then, it can be an extremely painful and draining experience. No one likes or wishes to be in an unhappy marriage, but that’s how life is; things happen that turn a once loving union into an unhappy marriage. What is important is for you to know how to move forward when this happens. 

Fortunately, recent studies showed that those who are in unhappy relationships are few compared to those who are in happy relationships, which I believe is the case globally. The statistics proved that 64% of Americans are actually in happy relationships and almost 50% of couples being satisfied with their sex lives. Only about 19% of couples in the United States were reported to be unhappy in their romantic relationships.

What Are The Signs Of An Unhappy Marriage

The following are some of the signs that can help you recognize if you are in an unhappy marriage. If you relate to these signs, then, it’s time for you to take a hard look at whether you should continue staying in your marriage.

1. Lack of sexual intimacy

The importance of sex in a marriage cannot be emphasized enough. Sex; good sex, is what makes marriages tick! So, one of the most obvious signs of trouble in your marriage is lack of sex. A marriage that has amazing and regular sex is a marriage that is full of love as physical acts such as having sex, hugging, kissing, and even cuddling help to bring the couple closer together resulting in a happy marriage.  

2. There is a breakdown in communication

Communication plays a very big role in the health and success of any relationship. A marriage without communication is a very bad sign as it shows that you no longer appreciate and value each other. Lack of communication creates gaps between couples that get wider by the day making it almost impossible to bridge. This is a sign of an unhappy marriage but if not corrected fast, it can be the beginning of the end of your marriage. 

3. You both lead separate lives

Couples in a healthy and happy relationship share everything and even do things together as a team. When one partner is having some blues the other partner is there to offer a shoulder to lean on. That is what marriage is all about, caring for each other and sharing. You should know that something is wrong when you realize that you have both been living two separate lives all along even without noticing it. This shows that you have disconnected and you are no longer one but just two strangers living in the same house.

4. Fantasize a life without your partner

In happy marriages, couples usually dream and imagine growing old together. This is generally the ultimate dream for most couples as they know that life without each other will be unbearable. So, when you find yourself always imagining a happy future without your partner, know that your marriage is an unhappy one. This shows that you don’t care about your spouse and you no longer love your partner like you used to. 

5. You don’t argue anymore

When in a marriage, it’s not good to fight every time, but having an argument once in a while is a very good sign. Healthy arguments bring couples closer together as they get to know more about each other. Fights also show that the couples care about each other deeply, which is why love between couples intensifies after the end of a fight. If you are in a marriage where you no longer fight, it’s a sign that you are in an unhappy and a loveless marriage. 

6. You don’t spend quality time together

The time a couple spends relaxing together means a lot. In a happy marriage, couples usually feel great being in the company of each other and often make an effort of finding time to be with each other. Spending some quality time together as a married couple helps to strengthen your identity and also brings you closer. If you are in a marriage where you always feel that it is better being alone than being around your spouse, then, you are in an unhappy marriage. 

8 Tips On How To Fix And Help Work On An Unhappy Marriage

1. Acknowledge and talk about the challenges that are facing your marriage

The first step is usually to acknowledge that your marriage is having some issues. This is important as some people try to avoid facing their marital problems, something that always ends up breaking their marriage apart for good. So, sit down with your spouse and talk about things that are making your marriage unhappy. 

2. Avoid causing more damage

After you have accepted that your marriage is going through a rough patch, it’s important for you to avoid adding more fuel to the fire. This will help in when you and your partner decide to fix the marriage as there will be better communication and fewer conflicts. 

3. Avoid acting out on negative feelings

Negative feelings that you have been all along will not go automatically just because you and your spouse have decided to work on your marriage. It’s now up to you to start letting go these feelings so as to avoid being influenced by them leading to miscommunication and tension, among other negative repercussions. 

4. Start being alive to the fact that you cannot always be right

The need to always be right is another thing that destroys marriages completely. Accepting that you can also be wrong allows you to see things from the angle of your spouse. This enhances understanding between you and your partner.

5. Consider couples counseling

If your marriage was in a position where you feel working things out alone with your partner will be alone will not be enough, then, you can see the services of a marriage counselor who will happily guide you and your spouse.

6. Involve your support network

Family and friends play a very big role in your relationship so involve them. Let them be there for you as you work things out with your partner. They can help you with anything and a good example is babysitting in case you have children. Whatever kind of support your families and friends will be able to provide will be very much welcome.

7. Learn to communicate better

You cannot be able to make things right without being able to communicate. This is one of the primary reasons why your marriage is where it is in the first place. So, you and your partner should learn to communicate with each other openly and respectfully and you will be able to work on your marriage.

8. Learn how to make decisions as a couple

While in a marriage, you have to make all your decisions as a couple. This helps to bring you and your spouse closer and also ensures that you and your spouse are on the same page. Making decisions together shows you have love and respect for each other.

Quotes About Unhappy Marriage That Speaks Closely To Heart

“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.”

Jennifer Weiner

“It’s not lack of love, but lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

“Like everything which is not the involuntary result of fleeting emotion but the creation of time and will, any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting than any romance, however passionate.”

W. H. Auden

“It is better to be unhappy in love than unhappy in marriage, but some people manage to be both.”

Guy de Maupassant


There is no perfect marriage. Just like any other type of relationship, a marriage is bound to have some problems once in a while. How couples respond to those problems is what makes the difference between a happy marriage and an unhappy marriage that’s doomed to fail. There is no marital problem that cannot be resolved if the spouses still love each other and are willing to work things out. So, if you are in an unhappy marriage do not give up as all is not lost.