10 Important tips on improving intimacy in marriage

People tell you that you should feel as in love with your husband/wife as the first day you fell in love, that's how you know the love is real. It's a beautiful thing to say, but for anyone that's ever been in love, we all know it doesn't work like that.

There're days where we wake up and just want to snuggle with our partner, but there're also days where we just want to be left alone and have a little space from each other. That, by no means says it's not true love. Love comes in many different forms. It's perfectly normal unless you feel that you'd rather be without your partner.

If you feel that you want to be without your partner, and you don't want to be with them, whether physical or spiritual, it means you're losing intimacy in your married life. Losing intimacy is a big thing, because bit by bit, it's not that you just want a little alone time from your partner, it means that you want alone time from them forever.

If you're having intimacy issues in your marriage, this article will answer all the questions you and help you rebuild the intimacy with your partner.

The term intimacy is very broad. Generally, we classify intimacy into physical and emotional intimacy. The two is very different, and you can find them on different people separately. Only the one person that can make you feel both will make you feel deeply in love.

Emotional intimacy is all about the feelings. Having someone that understands your emotions, why you feel the way you feel. You don't necessarily want anything physical from that person. You just want them to be there to listen to you, to share your happiness and sadness, simply because they can understand you without you having to speak too much. It's about the connection of the souls.

The beauty of emotional intimacy is that you don't need someone with the same personality to find the connection. You can be completely different and still find intimacy.

Physical intimacy is usually easier to get than emotional intimacy. A lot of the times, it depends on what type of people you like. If you are into guys with blue eyes and dark hair, every time you meet one, you could be physically attracted to them. If they feel the same about you, you could easily have a physical relationship with them. It's all about attraction. Usually, with physical intimacy, you're with the person that you thought was hot the first time you saw them.

There's really no such thing as one intimacy is more important than the other. They both go hand in hand. You don't want to be stuck in a relationship with just emotional or physical intimacy. Only having both will complete your marriage, to fully achieve the best part of this sacred bond.

Here we've got 10 tips for you to rebuild your intimacy with your loved one if you feel things aren't going too well lately!

It's certainly easier said than done. Many people, even when they knew there's a problem in their marriage, choose to ignore the problem because they're not ready to deal with it or they're scared dealing with it means breaking up.

Beyonce and Jay Z is a good example. Jay Z cheated on Beyonce and the latter openly admitted that for a while she just chose to ignore the problem because she simply didn't know how to deal with it. But if you leave the seed of trouble in a marriage, it's only going to grow bigger. Eventually, Beyonce realised that she can't be in a marriage where she couldn't trust her partner and the only way to trust him again was to have a long, open talk with him. That's how they saved their marriage.

Don't avoid or ignore the problem just because it may be too hard to deal with. If you don't take care of it in time, you may never have the chance to fix it again.

It doesn't have to be hard. It can be as easy as sending a good morning text. After people have been in love for a while, they tend to put in less effort because everything comes too easy now. Try to make your partner feel appreciated and loved. Don't hesitate to send him/her a cheesy romantic text or wake up complimenting his/her eyes.

Many married couples start losing intimacy after having kids. There's just so much to do and too little time to do already, time for intimacy is just luxury. Don't let it be.

Always remember, as much as kids are important, ultimately they're only a part of your life. They will grow up and live their amazing life with their own partner. Only your partner will be there for you, through every step till the end. That's why even though you're busy with the kids, you should always find time for your partner. Make a trip once a year, just you two. No kids. Relive and enjoy the time like back when you two were free of the kid hassles!

People have the tendency to be more polite to strangers than to people they are close to. Many would say 'please' and 'thank you' to a waitress but won't even say 'thank you' to their mum when she prepares your favourite meal.

The same goes for your partner. Don't take things for granted. They don't have to do things for you because you're married. They do it because they love and care about you. They make your life so much easier, and you can't even say 'thank you'? Let them know that you understand they don't have to do anything for you, they do it because they want to do it for you. Being appreciated and valued is an important key to build intimacy.

Skydiving? Swimming with the sharks in the Bahamas? Exploring the Palace of Queen Sheeba in Ethiopia? Couples always talk about doing things together but only end up doing half of them, maybe less. What is the one thing that you've been meaning to do with your partner but never did?

If you're having intimacy issues, try picking one thing that you talked about and do it together. It will help you realise the way you feel about each other back when everything was so wonderful. Then you will also see that as long as you love someone, you can indeed solve anything together. You just need to get that feeling back and this would be a good method!

When was the last time you grow with your partner? Learning how to dance to building a house? Find a hobby, big or small, to do with your partner so both of us can feel that you can learn and grow from the experience. Let both of you start from zero and explore together. The result may be even more amazing that you'd think.

Sometimes people lose the feeling of intimacy because they no longer see a future in the marriage. A marriage means spending the rest of your lives together. If you don't see that possibility happening anymore, losing intimacy will be the next step.

If both of you are committed in saving this marriage, try to make a future plan together. Maybe both of you don't want anymore kids but want to adopt a dog in the future, and move to the country side when the kids are all grown up. Making a future plan gets rid of the uncertainty and strengthen your faith in your marriage, and of course, intimacy.

This is by no means to ask you to lie about your marriage situation. Just that so often people only complain about what is wrong with their partner and the more they complain, the more they see faults in them. Just try it, even for two weeks or one. Only focus on the good things your partner does for you and share them with your friends, don't talk about the things that you would normally complain.

You'll see a difference very soon. We believe in what we talk about, so if you stay positive, you will grow positive and intimate feelings for your partner and vice versa.

Taking some time apart can be a good thing in a marriage. After spending everyday with someone for so long, maybe you will get tired of them and think that they're not good enough. Only after you lose them you will realise what an idiot you were.

To avoid this, you can simply take some time off and clear your mind. Go on a vacation without your partner for two or three weeks, either with your best friend or family, or even alone. After spending some time alone, you will realise what you really want, and usually it's that you truly want to be with the other person, just that sometimes it's too much, but that can totally be fixed!

Taking some time apart helps from directly leaving someone and gives you the space and time to think. When you come back determined to be with the person, naturally both your physical and emotional intimacy will be satisfied again.

Couples start to care less about how they look after getting married and eventually complain about their partner not being attractive anymore. Well, you have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone! If you want to look good and stay in shape, by all means, go for it!

Make yourself look even more gorgeous from when you first got into the relationship! Make your partner go 'WOW' again! Rekindle the physical attraction that was once so strong!

Intimacy is something we all seek in a marriage. It worries us when we see the intimacy fading away. It happens more often than we think. But that doesn't mean this marriage won't work. You just need to make an effort to build that intimacy again! If you're willing to put in an effort when you two were just boyfriend/girlfriend, why won't you put in an effort when you're now husband/wife, right? Try out a few of the tips that suit your situation and find that intimacy back in your marriage today!