How To Love Someone Unconditionally
Love is unconditional. We all know that but how many of us can actually do that? Giving your love to someone and not expect anything in return. It's easier to do that with your family, someone that you've known your whole life. What about someone that just came into your life? A partner? A lover? How to love them unconditionally too?
Here are some tips for you to love someone with all your heart and the right way to love different people.
1. Only give because you want to, not because you want something back
Everyone has the power to be kind if they want. We see someone in need of help on the street, it's natural for us to go and offer help without expecting anything in return. Why should it be different when it comes to love?
People don't always give back in the way you want them to, but that doesn't mean they are not giving back. You could expect your boyfriend to surprise you with flowers after you planned his surprise birthday party, but his way of thanking you might be giving up his time playing football and to cuddle with you all night.
Don't do something because you expect a certain things in return. If you want something, ask. Expecting something might only let you down because very often, the other person is actually giving back, but not in a way you expect it, then you become upset when you shouldn't.
2. Accept their past
One rule to love someone unconditinoally is to accept them completely, who they are today and who they were before you met. I've heard stories about how much it bothers the girl when she finds out her 26-yeay-old boyfriend dated a 40-year-old when he was 20. The girl kept saying it's too weird and disgusting for her to accept.
What people need to know is that, your partner did what they did in the past before they met you. They were a different person back then. You've shown them what life could be life with you and that's why they are with you now. As much as it bothers you, you should know that there are probably things about you that your partner dislikes too but he chose to accept your past because that's what makes you, you. If your partner hadn't made those choices in the past it's hard to say if he would still end up with you today, learn to accept that and enjoy the love you have with him.
How To Love Someone With PTSD
3. Don't force them to talk about it just because you're curious
Love should be open and honest, but it's never about forcing someone to share when they're not ready to. PTSD can cause stress, depression and anxiety. You should always be ready to listen and help, but at the same time, learn to give them space. Sometimes what they need the most isn't having someone to listen to, but just simply let it sink in.
Couples tend to believe sharing everything is important and one side becomes upset when the other person doesn't want to share some things. We all have our secrets and things that we want to keep to ourselves, understand that.
4. Don't let it bring you down
What they need when they're having an episode is for you to be strong so they can find the strength to be strong as well. Going down with them will only make both of you suffer from the same thing. You didn't cause his trauma, you're just here to help. It's not because of you that he's having an episode. Don't let it get to you to much and find a way to stay positive.
Go for a walk once it becomes too much so you can come back and smile again. It's important for one side to stay happy, positive energy influences people a lot.
How To Love Someone With Anxiety
5. Don't rush them, give them time
Not hearing an answer immediately seems to be a problem for some. Not being able to give an answer doesn't mean your partner doesn't love you, just that they need some time to find themselves again so they can be stable and give you an answer.
Be patient and allow them to have all the time they need. If you rush them, they will only go away because they already can't handle the stress.
6. Make them feel safe
Making promises is a beautiful thing. Some people are too stigent with their promises because they don't want to give fake hopes. A promise is more than that. Making a promise doesn't mean you're 100% sure you will make that happen. Who knows what will happen, even if you say you promise to show up for work tomorrow, you could still get food poisoning the same night and won't make it.
Making a promise means you devote your heart to it, in your mind you want it to happen. That's what making a promise means. Make your lover feel safe by telling him/her that you will be there for them and that you will spend the rest of your life with them. It's true that you won't know for sure if you will be spending the rest of your life with them, but at least it means that when you said it, you meant it. And it's the intention that counts. Show them your love to make them feel safe.
How To Love Someone With Depression
7. Don't take it personally
People with depression never meant to hurt anyone. It's just too much for them from time to time and they're having second thoughts. If you asked your girlfriend to move in with you and she said yes, but two weeks later she said she can't do it and needs to be alone, know that it's not because you're not a great guy, there're just things that she needs to work on herself.
You can only be there for them and help them get through their dark times, but ultimately it has to be up to them to feel strong and happy. Don't take it personally whenever she is depressed. Know that it's not about you and just be the happy person as you always are and make her feel better.
8. Don't throw too many plans at her
It's beautiful to make plans with your lover because it shows how committed you are. However, people with depression usually want things simple. Throwing too many plans at her will only stress her out until she can't handle it. Let her take things easy.
Let her maybe you can go skiing together this winter. Don't push her into making plans to travel half of the continent with you next year. Allow her to take things at her own pace.
How To Love Someone From A Distance
9. Learn to understand their sacrifices
An LDR is hard. You can't have his warm hugs even when you want to. Learn to know all the sacrifices they make for you and not just what you're giving them. It's easy for you to think that you're the only one trying because you see what you give. It's hard to see what the other person is giving sometimes.
He could be secrificing his sleep time so he could talk to you more, he might be cancelling trips so he could save up to see you. These kinds of things are not always obvious to you, but he is doing that for you. Don't focus on what you're giving but give him credits for what he is sacrificing, however small it is.
10. Active communication is important
Picking up your phone for 10 seconds to text isn't too much to ask for. Don't wait until the end of the day to just chat for 5 mins. Pick up yoru phone and send him a message every hour or two. Wish him a good morning if you wake up before him.
Show him that you care and he will do the same. When you can't see each other, active communication is the only thing that will make you feel close to the person. You will always have 10 seconds to send a message every few hours.
There's no set formula on how to love someone. People are different and they need different forms of love. Know what your partner needs so you can give it to them. It can be hard to love someone sometimes because of what they've been through. It's not your fault that you don't want to try anymore.
But if you don't feel like giving up and want to try some more, we've got the best 10 tips for you so you can learn to love someone even with their personal issues. Eventually you will see that guarding the love you have with that special someone will always be worth it.