The 5 Stages Of Love And Why We Get Stuck At Stage 3

Every love can be divided into 5 stages. For most of us, that third one is critical. Here you can find out how to overcome those problems.

By Tashke
The 5 Stages Of Love And Why We Get Stuck At Stage 3

Heading to true love, stage by stage

Both men and women want to find the right person in our life, along with whom they will peacefully welcome the future. We all want true love, for a lifetime. Every relationship we get in can be fateful, and that depends on many things. Generally, psychology divides each love into stages and sub-stages, but the general opinion is that there are 5 stages of love. Of them all, the third stage is considered to be the most critical, so that each of these 5 stages does not exist for a certain period of time. It depends on ourselves, but also on what our relationship is from the start and how deep is our love. Someone crushes too fast. In others, the crisis phase is short-lived. Some of the couples won't even notice that their love gets into that so-called crisis. At the other hand, some couples can break up at one of the first two pages, even though they aren't considered as critical. There is simply no general rule, and we will briefly explain each of these 5 stages and give guidance on how to overcome the toughest, third stage.

Stage 1: Crush

This stage begins with two people simply ''clicking'. They found themselves at the same frequencies and they decide to start their relationship. This stage is also known under the silly name of the "stage of pink glasses", and it's obvious why. Let's admit that both men and women dream to love and be loved, and to have that one person to devote them the rest of their lives. At this stage, we still do not know if our love is real and it will take time. However, we certainly enter into that relationship optimistically and we want to give it a shot. Psychology says that the length of this stage of love is individual and that it is different for each pair, but everyone agrees that this is not a long period. At this stage, everything is ideal for us. Our partner is a perfect person and we like each teeny tiny detail about him/her. Of course, first we were attracted to our partner physically, and then we resolved to let him into our lives, and later we began to discover some of his characteristics. At this stage, we do not mind. Everything is still new, unrevealed and we have not yet developed too deep and strong feelings.

Stage 2: Heading to mature love

You two move to this stage gradually, almost imperceptibly. If you passed the first stage of love without any big troubles, this is the moment when all of them slowly disappear and when your partner slowly begins to see you in a different light. You start to support each other. Your discussions and plans are more serious. Even your fights are more constructive. And after all that fighting, your relationship will become stronger. At this stage, your trust in your partner grows and you are unconditionally committed to this love. According to psychology, this stage of love lasts much longer than the first one of falling in love. This is a period when you simply enjoy your love and when your relationship becomes more serious. In the second of 5 stages, you can see how your relationship will be in the future. It is now ready for the critical phase, which can happen anytime and that's sure.

Stage 3: How to get over a love crisis?

And here we go. This is the stage of love that no one wants to have, but which is inevitable. This will happen to any happy couple, sooner or later. And this stage is considered critical because in it many couples give up. They simply decide that their love has come to an end. Maybe they are not aware that this phase is transient, or that the solution to the problem exists. It is only necessary to come to it with joint forces. At this stage, the initial passion is almost faded away. Now it is a real, serious love. But every little thing starts to bother us. We already got used to our partner, got to know all his good and bad sides, and simply, there has been some kind of saturation. The crisis becomes real and some couples will break under such pressure. Somehow they come to the conclusion they just weren't for each other and that it is best to let go. Again, there are couples who will jointly try to overcome this crisis. They consider their love to be stronger than the problems and are ready for various concessions in order to solve every situation. At this stage, it is possible to experience many temptations because of boredom and monotony. Now even small tiffs can turn into a big problem and this can be a very dangerous trap for your love.

How to overcome this stage

The best advice we can give you on how to overcome this phase is to talk to each other, all the time. Both of you need to clearly state your views on what you want from this relationship and what you don't want to give up from. You need to discuss which sacrifices you are ready to make of mutual benefit. At this stage, if you want to overcome problems, you must be ready for improvisation, but make sure you follow the basics. Talk about things that matter to both of you. Reach your partner's perspective and find out what he's thinking about and how he sees your love in future. This misunderstanding of the partner and his attitudes is one of the most common causes of break-ups in this stage. When one of the partners often gets the feeling that he is the only one making compromises in order to achieve peace in the relationship, the couple ends up fighting. That partner will usually end up feeling about to "burst" at one point and expressing his dissatisfaction with constantly fighting. In order to reach a common solution that is good for both of you, remember why you love each other. Open up and talk like you did that before; you will see things can be fixed if the will is mutual.

Stage 4: Getting real with your love

Finally, the crisis is over. Ok, maybe you're not a perfect match made in heaven, but you got to this stage together. You've solved most of your problems in the previous stage and now you can fully enjoy it in the rest of your love. Of course, you don't relax too much because there will always be some problems. At this stage, it is very important that there is no longer any illusion between you. Now you are fully aware of your partner, his faults, and virtues, and you are ready to accept this, with greater or fewer concessions. A certain experience is behind you and you've learned the lessons from previous crises. It's up to you to strengthen the relationship and make sure it becomes a lifetime. Because, after all that you have passed through, and you didn't give up on him, it is clear that the person next to you is the love of your life. At this stage of your love and life, some wounds are still fresh. Do not try to take advantage of this. There's no need to remind the partner of the mistakes of the past and do not initiate outdated discussions. Whatever happened, happened. Turn to the future. Taught by previous experiences, now you know how to overcome future crises without major consequences.

Stage 5: Love for a lifetime

This stage of your love should be the culmination of every serious relationship. After all the previous stages, you have finally come to the point where your love is completely unballasted of the past. A special kind of a relationship has developed between you, at a higher level, and this is no longer the ordinary love. Now you direct your joint forces in realizing your common plans and goals. Many relationships at this stage end up in marriage, which is a logical trace. Your love becomes your shelter ,a safe-port from where you draw energy to fight real life. At this stage, you have forgiven each other for every mistake you made in past. You know that those mistakes would only burden you and you have decided to free yourself from that. Your relationship becomes functional and there is a desire for lifelong stability. As we have already said, marriage, children, and everything that goes with this, are the next step. This stage doesn't necessarily mean that nothing will happen with your love anymore. Au contraire, when you get into a calm phase of your life, it may happen that a spark among you will appear again. You can easily fall in love with your partner again and realize that you are lucky to have him beside you. Passion can come out again because your love has gone through many temptations, now it's just getting stronger and more sincere.

Love for a lifetime

Maybe you have wondered at times of crisis whether your love was worthy of saving. You've been thinking and deciding a lot, being in numerous dilemmas, and finally came to the conclusion that it is still worth fighting for that love. Maybe this is the right one. And you were right. Therefore, in the last stage, you should enjoy both, because you have come to it with common forces. Psychology gives a universal advice to appreciate your partner's good sides and be grateful for everything you share together. Gratitude can improve all stages of love. Allow yourself to remember the first stages of love from time to time. Remember why you two love each other, why were you together through all the crises and problems. The strong and unbreakable connection between you two is a characteristic of true love, that one of the only ones that will last forever.

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