Couples Share their List of Turn Ons in Their Relationships

When you meet someone and you feel that instant chemistry, consider yourself lucky. It's hard to find a good partner these days, especially if the feelings are mutual. So you go on a few dates, get to know that they aren't creeps, don't still live with their parents, have a job and basically see the world the same way you do. Before you know it, you're "official". You're part of a couple now, and the honeymoon phase begins.

But what exactly causes the chemistry which ultimately leads you to choose someone to share your life with? To open yourself up to and be vulnerable. There are certain traits and characteristics that the opposite sex must possess in order for any kind of attraction to take place, and while physical attraction is important, especially in the initial stages of a relationship, you can't keep a relationship going on physical attraction
alone.

Of course, everyone has their own preferences, and there is no definitive list of turn ons that everyone agrees on. Some women may find men who are goal orientated, serious and ambitious attractive, others may find men who are free-spirited, spontaneous and don't take life so seriously just as attractive.

Some men may find a natural, girl next door kind of woman irresistible, while others may prefer women who always look glamourous, ooze grace and have a hint io mystery to them far more attractive.

With this in mind, there are still certain physical and personality traits that a large portion of the population looks for in a partner. Conversely, there are universal no's that are turn offs to the majority of men and women. Here we will look at some turn-ons and turn-offs that many studies have shown to be very common amongst the general population.

Let's look at some of the top turn-ons that most men have in common.

When it comes to men, they are visual creatures. They certainly put more emphasis on physical features when choosing a partner than women do. In terms of men's most common turn-ons physically, the most common are:

No, we aren't talking crazy eyes. We're talking big, beautiful peepers that any man can get lost in  An added bonus to go with a pair of gorgeous large eyes is a long set of eyelashes!

Most men go nuts for a woman with full, kissable lips. Obviously, lips are for kissing....and some other naughty things, so it's no wonder lips are a turn on for men.

Men love boobs. While some may prefer perky smaller breasts and others go nuts for a pair of big breasts, it comes as no surprise that breasts are one of the top turn-ons for men-they are the embodiment of soft femininity and a primal backing of the maternal importance of breasts.

Caution: Curves ahead. While women all over the world torture themselves by starving, over-exercising and trying to be as thin as possible, most men actually prefer curves. Soft, feminine curves are actually engrained into men's' primal instinctual turn-ons. Curvy women with soft breasts and hips signal health and a healthy child-bearing physique. So, ladies, stop starving, eat drink and be happy (in moderation), and quit looking up to skeletal celebrities and models!

It's not very surprising that men love a sexy set of pins, Shapely legs that seem to go on for days. This may seem disheartening to shorter women, but isn't that what a sexy pair of heels or stilettos are for? Women these days are lucky as clothes are designed to accentuate features, meaning even shorter women, if dressed correctly, can rival those naturally long-legged vixens.

As much emphasis as men put on the physical appearance of their partner (or potential partner), no relationship can get beyond physical if they're reaching for looks alone. This is why the following traits, sought out by most men, help to develop lust into love.

No man wants to live with a woman who can't take a joke (provided it isn't crass or degrading). It's been proven time and time again that couples that laugh together, stay together. You have to be best friends AND lovers if you want to last in these days of massive divorce rates. There's nothing cuter than a girl who belly laughs at the same kind of humor that you have. Better yet, one who laughs at YOUR jokes (you know it is an ego booster).

Easy now, feminists! This is a big deal for men. And even as the decades have passed, women generally seem to take charge in the kitchen. There is, of course, a reason for the saying "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.". This isn't to say men expect gourmet meals that could even rival Nigella, but if your lady can cook up a hearty, scrumptious meal, it's almost a given that she may be Mrs. Right.

The days of men feeling resenting their female partner who is ambitious and successful-perhaps even a women who bring in more money than you, is no longer seen as emasculating.  In fact, many men find successful, professional women an extreme turn on.

When it comes to women, they are not nearly as focused on looks as men are and you'll often find a far greater variety of physical traits that turn them on. In fact, women seem quite influenced by magazines, the media and the latest hot celebs that women go gaga for. First, it was the clean-cut Christian Grey, Then beards were suddenly in and a more scruffy look,

And the most recent, (we're still not sure if this is for real), the Dad Bod. (Check out this article if you have no idea what we're on about).

Regardless of what does it for you as a woman, I think we're all in agreement that the female sex has more of a diverse idea of "the perfect man", which is great! Especially in a world where finding your soulmate is so difficult.

As mentioned, when it comes to physical turn-ons, women have a much more diverse taste in the looks department than men do. However, just like men, love can't last on looks alone. Here we take a look of some non-physical, must-have traits that a large portion of women agree on in the pursuit of Mr. Right.

Sure, he may be an absolute dreamboat, but if a man is great eye candy, yet not the sharpest tool in the shed, you'll find women shrinking away from any potential relationship with a man who can barely hold an intelligent conversation. Women crave communication, and there is no bigger turn off than a vacant stare during an interesting conversation. We're not talking Einstein here, but brains are a big turn on.

No, chivalry is NOT dead. Whether most women like to admit it or not, they really do love a man who opens doors for her, pulls chairs out for her and surprises her with flowers. Women still love romance and a man who takes her on dates showers her with compliments isn't afraid to show her affection in public and looks at her like she's the only woman in the room.

Not all women want a shredded, over muscular man. However, a big turn on is a man who takes care of himself. While many men and women tend to let themselves go once they're in a long term relationship, it really doesn't bode well in the long term. Men who keep up a fitness routine, have good hygiene, and take pride in their appearance are big plusses when it comes to a long-lasting, happy relationship.

An ambitious, goal-orientated man with discipline and one who is not afraid of hard work is a huge turn on for women.  It also means he respects that it is an equal partnership; one where both partners do their share to make a good life for themselves as a couple.

You're in your little love bubble, just the two of you, and thanks to all the love hormones surging through your body, namely oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Sure, your new partner in love isn't perfect-there are a few imperfections, idiosyncrasies and strange little behaviors, but when you're in that honeymoon phase, blinded by chemicals and the excitement of possibly finding "the one", these little things are somewhat sweet and endearing,

Sadly, this period eventually comes to an end; chemicals settle, and real-life penetrates your once impenetrable bubble. Those little traits you found endearing start to become pet peeves and irritations. Where you once ignored clothes on the floor next to the laundry basket, you now want to pull your hair out. The loud cracking of a crisp packet during your favorite show now seems to be ten times louder.

This does not mean the end of a relationship, don't be disheartened. You'll have squabbles, you'll annoy each other, but if, at the end of the day you still love each other, you'll either compromise or learn to live with the petty things. There are, however, certain universal no's that are major turn-offs for both sexes. These include:

There is nothing more annoying than trying to talk to your partner and feeling completely ignored because they simply won't put their phone down. Whether they're texting, scrolling through Instagram or worse-constantly taking selfies, you either need to lay down the law or show them the door.

There's no bigger turn off than poor hygiene. If your partner can't be bothered to take a shower at least once a day, clip their toenails before they become weapons or wear clean clothes, the last thing you want to do is hop in the sack with them. There really is no tactful way of telling your partner that they are, for lack of a better word, gross, So just tell them. And if they won't change, it's time to move on.

If you find yourself doing practically everything - you are in a one-way relationship. Whether it's bringing home the bacon, running errands or doing most of the housework while your partner lounges around thanklessly and not even considering that a partnership is equal, kick him or her to the curb!

It takes most people a lot of frogs to kiss before they meet their prince or princess. This isn't a bad thing. If you've been in a string of dead-end relationships you're bound to eventually identify what you want in a life long partner, and what you don't want. The key is loving yourself enough to not simply settle. While even the most blissfully happy couples have their differences, petty fights and set ways, the key is compromised. 

If you don't put your foot down all you are doing is enabling unpleasant behavior and you may end up missing out on the man or woman who ticks all the right boxes. Sure, every happy couple has their turn-ons and turn-offs, but it's about working together and communicating.

And then there are the just plain train wrecks. We've all been there, and hopefully, sooner rather than later, we will learn to steer clear of them!