How to Spank Your Husband The Right (and Sexy) Way

We have already told you a lot about sexual fantasies, but what you may not know is that the vast majority of people imagine rough sex, not in extreme, but with a bit of pain. That brings us to today's topic: what spanking means in sex. Although some people consider the pain in sex as something exaggerated and it is valid because we all have different tastes, there are others who prefer a little more excitement and adrenaline. The reality is that in sex everything is valid when both people agree and are not hurting each other physically or emotionally. Leaving that aside, have you ever wondered what spanking means in sex or why some couples make it a recurring thing in intimacy? They even make jokes and you know, when the river sounds it's because of the water it carries. Is it crazy? Does everyone like it? Let's see what the experts say.

Although many of us associate spanking with a show of discipline, for example, the one that a father or a mother gives to a child who misbehaves, in adulthood and specifically in the couple, it takes on another meaning. On the one hand, we have how delicious physical contact is and the fact that touching our partner's butt is a way of saying "I want you."

On the other, specifically speaking of spanking in sex, it is an erotic reward. This is how Tyomi Morgan, sex guide, explains it. She indicates that spanking is a consensual impact, where the hands or other tools can be used and that these light blows are not only given to the butt but also to the thighs, breasts, and others.

The point is to hit some fleshy part of the body and it can be exciting because receiving this impact causes the brain to release hormones that make us happy instead of feeling pain like dopamine, adrenaline, and oxytocin, so instead of hurting us cause suffering, they simply lead to pleasure and a higher level of arousal.

Talking about spanking in sex also means limiting at what point it is something to enjoy and at what point it is considered abuse or mistreatment. It is important that both of you dictate rules and limits to enjoy your privacy, so you should not feel sorry, total, the worst that can happen is that they say no, but no one can force you to give or receive a spanking.

One of the earliest depictions of erotic spanking is found in the Etruscan Tomb of the Whipping from the fifth century BC. Spanking was a constant focus of erotica produced during the Victorian era. Interest in sexual gratification received from giving, receiving, and witnessing spanking began to increase during the 19th century (particularly within France and the United Kingdom). Interest was not only confined to spanking literature, but the development of photography during the 19th century resulted in the beginning of the creation of spanking photography. In the context of literature, this growing demand caused the publication of numerous limited edition spanking novels (although, while the term novel is/was used many of these works from this time and subsequently can be instead classified as novellas).

Many of us believe that the famous "spankings" only occur in the intimacy of a couple, but this is not always the case, because even in the streets we can see that some people do it and like it regardless of whether someone else sees them.

When children are threatened with a spanking, of course, the idea is not at all pleasant. From childhood, one learns to identify the concept of spanking with punishment and pain. However, as one grows up, spanking becomes one of the most common sexual fantasies. Either giving them, with the partner on their knees, or receiving them, exposing the buttocks without shame, or more commonly distributing some random spanking at the moment of penetration, it seems that spanking is also synonymous with pleasure, and not just pain. Why?

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In reality, the explanation is rather scientific and seems to have to do with the brain's relationship between pleasure and pain. This was stated, among others, by Barry Komisaruk, a researcher at Rutgers University, in New Jersey, who declared that there is a fundamental relationship between the pain and orgasm pathways. Take the face we make when we hit our little toe as an example: isn't it quite similar to that of orgasm?

According to Dr. Jessica O'Reilly, the fact that we know that spanking is related to punishment and that it appears suddenly in a situation of pleasure often seems attractive. In a way, some of us like submission, and since we are in a consensual sexual relationship, in which we trust and empower someone, it is pleasant to be surprised by a kind of punishment.

She also mentions, based on her research on sexuality in cultural and interpersonal aspects, that "sociological planes shape our sexual interests." As we mentioned, linking spanking with punishment can be attractive, but it is also possible that in societies like ours it is striking because society has done so. It is a popular activity that has echoed for centuries, by being aware of it, it is more likely that our interest in receiving or spanking will grow. That explains why men are more likely to want to give them, while women receive them.

In addition to doing it to mark territory, it is a movement that they enjoy very much regardless of whether you have a lot of butts or not. The simple fact of touching you gives them a certain degree of pleasure and intimacy because it is something they fantasize about, and if they can, they will not hesitate to do so. Of course, you should always keep in mind that spanking should be gentle and loving. 

As spanking in sex is part of what is considered "rough sex" or "intense sex", before practicing them they must mark a word that when mentioned will indicate that the encounter should stop. Then proceed with the palm of the hand as it is the meatiest part, thus generating the desired impact.

Sexuality experts like Tyomi Morgan say that spanking should start gently and then can be intensified according to the partner's preference. It is also recommended to rub the area where the blow was struck to avoid the appearance of marks and increase pleasure. In general, the lower part of the gluteus will be the one indicated to receive this type of impact, since being the softest, it will produce more pleasure than pain and also, it will send vibrations to the genital area that will cause more sexual stimulation and lubrication.

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Of course, you should always keep in mind that spanking should be gentle and loving. If you do it in a violent way, we are no longer talking about this. Keep in mind that a spanking should just be a delicate way to increase passion and create pleasure.

It may sound very animalistic, but let's remember that sexuality tends to bring out our wildest side. In the same way, you do not have to worry that it is a macho act, because in sexual relations a kind of dominance or control of the situation is always created, and the feeling of wanting to have power is inevitable. The important thing is that it is with respect and mutual agreement.

Not everyone likes spanking, of course. But those of us who do enjoy it have thought about how rare it is to enjoy a blow that is related to punishment to children. Likewise, it is intriguing to know why some of us are turned on to be submissive and others dominant. Sex is a peculiar phenomenon that is worth studying, and thus understand why pain is often linked to pleasure.